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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-22 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-22 Pub. Date: 2020-01-22
Image Number: 181366
Caption: Yesterday, someone asked me if I wanted to Go for a ride, and I told her it's more accurate to say Go on a ride. Dr. Noodle. I told her On a ride is passive, for use when someone else is giving you the ride. But later, I looked it up and couldn't find such a rule. Am I one of those people who confuse their own personal preferences for rules? I can't stand people like that. I'm pretty sure it's Take a ride. That's only used when you want the ride to sound mysterious.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-11 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-11 Pub. Date: 2019-07-11
Image Number: 178423
Caption: You know what, Clyde? It really offends me that you said I'm awful at barbecuing. Yesterday was awesome. I grilled blackened sea bass … blackened sausages … blackened corn on the cob … You blackened your upstairs neighbor's curtains … The first responders all told me my bass was incredible. They was bein' polite, bruh.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-15 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-15 Pub. Date: 2019-05-15
Image Number: 177622
Caption: You'll never guess what happened to me yesterday, Clyde. True. You know what I could go for, bruh? I could go for a burrito. I said, you'll never guess what happened to me yesterday, Clyde. You right. (Sigh) … You didn't ask me what happened to me. Right again. You on a streak, Big L.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-01 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-01 Pub. Date: 2019-03-01
Image Number: 176501
Caption: Whachoomean you want me to bring kale burgers to the barbecue?! I promised my son I wouldn't eat cows anymore. He said it's not right to eat anything with parents. Tell him it's ok, 'cause Uncle Clyde ate that cow' parents yesterday. Sigh … I'll get the kale.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-30 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-30 Pub. Date: 2019-01-30
Image Number: 176033
Caption: Yesterday at work, I said Aristotle was a moron. Someone over heard me. They told a co-worker, who told another … By the end of the day, the office was bitterly divided into a pro-Aristotle and anti-Aristotle camps. Aristotle was wrong about everything. He though men were superior to women and masters were superior to slaves. He was wrong about physics, about chemistry, about biology, about psychology, about astronomy, and about social justice. As if our country wasn't divided enough, you had to mess around and start this. I'm not sure I can even respect the pro-Aristotle people anymore.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-04 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-04 Pub. Date: 2019-01-04
Image Number: 175660
Caption: What're you doing here, Mort? What do you mean? Shouldn't you be in DC right now? The new Congress was sworn in yesterday. I don't follow. You're missing … wait … you do know you won your election, right? I what my what? You mean that actually happened? It wasn't an Imodium-induced hallucination? The Blue Wave Congress is a motley crew.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-07 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-07 Pub. Date: 2018-11-07
Image Number: 174822
Caption: 1982. Did your mommy vote yesterday, Lemont? Of course. Momma always votes. She said it's her civic doodie, which I found particularly hilarious. She asked why I was laughing. I said Momma, you just got through telling me there was a whole movement that led to you having that doodie. Don't tell me, she told you to stop it. Grownups just can't appreciate sophisticated humor.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-05 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-05 Pub. Date: 2018-10-05
Image Number: 174292
Caption: I had to fire someone yesterday. I took no pleasure in it. Solace, though. I felt solace. And maybe a little satisfaction. And some bliss. Joy, contentment, revelry, gratification, tingles, amusement, giddiness, joie de vivre … titillation … but now pleasure. Sorry. That's ok, there's always next time.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-03 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-03 Pub. Date: 2018-08-03
Image Number: 173244
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. But that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something at least.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-07 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-07 Pub. Date: 2018-02-07
Image Number: 168182
Caption: Have you ever lost time, Susan? Sure. Everyone zones out sometimes. Cool, cool. But hey, have you ever, like, dropped your kid off at preschool, gone home, sat on the couch, and then after what feels like just five minutes, your alarm goes off telling you six hours have passed and it's time to go pick him up already? That's the kind of lost time I'm talking about. Reason number 398 why I'll never have children. I'm pretty sure I was abducted by aliens yesterday, is what I'm saying.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-26 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 155437
Caption: Yesterday, I visited my 97-year-old grandpa for the first time in six months. Dr. Noodle. He opened his door. I said "Grandpa! I missed you!" He looked me up and down and said "You gained a pound." It was all I could think about the whole time. As I drove him to his favorite restaurant, I was worried the seatbelt made me look bulgy ... When we ordered, I felt like he was judging my choices and so I only ordered crackers and water. When I hugged him goodbye, I sucked my gut in as hard as I could. Why don't we just focus on the fact he hugged you? When he hugged me, he said "You at that whole cracker."
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-31 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 153972
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. I think he really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? "A lie is not a lie if you believe it." America elected George Costanza president.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-30 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-30 Pub. Date: 2016-12-30
Image Number: 152628
Caption: Ever since I got back from Canada, I've felt like I'm just drifting through my days. Dr. Noodle. Like yesterday, I was interviewing a source I'll call "Deep Throat" at a big pharmaceutical company who told me they're purposely trying to spread the opioid addiction problem to other countries ... because getting people to become dependent on opioid painkillers here has been so profitable. But I ended up just taking Deep Throat to a hockey game. That's normal. For non-Trump-voters, thinking of Canada is a good substitute for opioids.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-25 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148272
Caption: It all started when I considered voting for Donald Trump. He's against illegal immigration. I'm against illegal immigration. So why not? People said that made him racist. But I agree with him, and I know I'm not racist. And if people were wrong to call him "racist" about that, maybe they're wrong to call him racist about everything. I started arguing with my own wife. I said demanding Obama's birth certificate wasn't racist. I said wanting to ban all Muslim immigrants wasn't racist. Trump saying a judge couldn't do his job because he's Mexican-American? I said that wasn't racist. I said the fact he kept retweeting white supremacists wasn't racist. But yesterday ... I caught myself saying "What's so racist about white supremacists anyway?" You're worried that supporting Trump is desensitizing you to racism? No, I just wondered if I can bunk here tonight. My wife kicked me out.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-01 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 145232
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. Bet that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something, at least.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-19 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-19 Pub. Date: 2016-04-19
Image Number: 142113
Caption: What's wrong? I'm ruined. When the Pulitzer board called yesterday to tell me I'd won this year's Pulitzer Prize for snarky criticism, Clyde answered, accused them of running a scam, and hung up. I cussed Clyde out. I called them back at the number they called me from, and apologized profusely. They asked me a bunch of questions to prove I was really me. So you got your Pulitzer Prize?! I got my bank account stolen by someone in Nigeria!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-12 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 130935
Caption: I was talking to Susan about Robin Thicke's love life yesterday, and I felt guilty. I usually talk to her about intelligent, important matters. I usually save any dumb, frivolous, utterly inconsequential thoughts for when I hang out with you. Talking about Robin Thicke should've been our thing. I think I'll get over it, bruh.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-22 yesterday 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-22 Pub. Date: 2015-05-22
Image Number: 127175
Caption: I'm sorry, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Yesterday I accused you of stealing my wallet, ordering $800 worth of junk from Amazon, and lying about it. I cussed at you, threw a drink in your face, and called your momma a Sasquatch. Turns out it was my baby boy who took my wallet and went on Amazon. I'm so proud of him! He's only two and he already knows how to order 57 bags of rabbit food. Oh, oh, oh. So when he take yo' wallet, it's cute. When I take it, it's "grand larceny."
     
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