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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about things that are the worst .

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-29 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-29 Pub. Date: 2019-04-29
Image Number: 177383
Caption: Lemont? How come you kept sending me straight to voicemail all weekend? It wasn't 'cause they're announcing the Pulitzer Prize winners today and I thought they might call the winners over the weekend. I wasn't hoping to win or anything. I already know I'm a good writer. I don't need external validation. You're the worst liar in the world. Is there an award for that?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-16 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-16 Pub. Date: 2019-04-16
Image Number: 177221
Caption: The worst part of being self-employed is you never get the thrill of a huge tax refund. That's why last year I paid twice as much estimated taxes as I was supposed to. Lemont … have you ever thought that maybe you need to work less and have more fun? The operative part of refund is fun. Dios mio.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-11 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-11 Pub. Date: 2019-04-11
Image Number: 177116
Caption: You know the worst part of renting instead of owning a home? Aside from not being able to create generational wealth for your children and all your descendants, I mean. You don't really have a good reason to hang out in Home Depot. You don't get to tear down walls and dig a lot of holes when you rent. Don't put limits on y'self, Big L. I tore down a wall just last week, I don't give a @#$%.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-04 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-04 Pub. Date: 2019-04-04
Image Number: 177045
Caption: Long distance relationships are the worst! I haven't been in the same room with "Vancouver" in a year! Lemont - maybe she's just not into you anymore. No, that's not it al all. As soon as her fifty-nation book tour ended, she secluded herself in a log cabin in the Himalayas to write her next novel. That old excuse. If it weren't for the carrier pigeons, we'd have no contact at all.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-10 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174389
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory. Until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-20 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-20 Pub. Date: 2018-09-20
Image Number: 174075
Caption: Fries are maybe the worst food you could eat. They're high in fat and calories, high in salt, grease and carbs … So they increase your risk of obesity, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and kidney disease … and if that's not bad enough, they're high in acrylmide, which increases your risk of cancer. Whatever. Still ain't givin' you my fries, bruh. I just want to take them somewhere where they can't hurt anyone.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-01 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-01 Pub. Date: 2018-08-01
Image Number: 173242
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The nose said This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia. That florist is the worst.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-28 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166536
Caption: I saw that review of The Last Jedi you posted, Big L. You need to cut that out. You said it made you feel like a kid again. You said Luke Skywalker was amazing. You said it was the bet thing since Empire. Then I saw the movie. That spit was the worst thing since Phantom Menace. Your Jedi mind tricks ain't gonna change that. A positive review isn't a Jedi mind trick just 'cause you disagree with it. Your headline was this is the Star Wars you're looking for.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-07 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150712
Caption: You've been in Canada six whole hours. When do I get to see you, Candorville? I can't wait any longer. How 'bout right now? I'm at the American Pub on Spite Street. It's a sketchy bar in the worst part of Gastown, where a bunch of American ex-pats and tourists can get together and act like they're still in the states. Censored you, you stupid liberal censored head! Censored my censored you censored Fascist! Wanna hang out with me while I cover election night for my news site? I can wait a little longer.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-06 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2016-07-06
Image Number: 145504
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning, I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The note said "This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia." That florist is the worst.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-25 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-25 Pub. Date: 2016-06-25
Image Number: 144902
Caption: Sir, I just found out Gary earns 15% more than I do. I'd like an explanation. Well, it's simple, Garcia: Gary has a wife to support. You don't. That's why he's paid more.. Seriously, sir? That explanations the worst. But earlier you said you'd "like" it. You lied. And you wonder why Gary's paid more.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-12 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138875
Caption: What's wrong with you? I'm not sure whom to vote for anymore. I was leaning on Trump … but when he lost that first contest in Iowa, I realized he's not the "always-wins" guy I thought he was. Then I thought, maybe Cruz. He's strong on illegal immigration too. But on the other hand, as Trump said, he's an Anchor Baby. And I hate those. How can you hate a baby? Don't let their pudgy cheeks fool you. Anchor Babies are the worst.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-10 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-10 Pub. Date: 2016-02-10
Image Number: 138873
Caption: Y'know what the thing be about Youtube, Big L? If you upload secret video you took of the worst double date in history, you can get 7 million views in just a few hours. But if you drop a music video you been workin' on for weeks, you get just a fraction of that. You recorded me on my date?! You uploaded it to Youtube?! We talkin' about my music video now. You've ruined my life, Clyde. Erethang ain't always about you, bruh.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-04 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-04 Pub. Date: 2016-02-04
Image Number: 138595
Caption: The Double Date. Sometimes Vancouver and I go for a stroll along the docks. You guys wanna do that with us? What're you talking about? She's thousands of miles away. How do you go for walks along … What're you … Bzzzzzzzzz. Long-distance relationships are the worst. We can go as soon as Skype finishes buffering.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-07 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-07 Pub. Date: 2015-12-07
Image Number: 136219
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Absolutely nothing, Susan. That's the problem. I had a really hot date today, my latest article was shared 3 million times on Facebook, my son just learned his name, and I found out I'm in perfect health. But the worst part was, just now I found a $20 bill in my pocket. Can't you let yourself be happy just once? I may have used up all my good luck for the week in just one day.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-23 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-23 Pub. Date: 2015-11-23
Image Number: 135622
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory, until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-17 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-17 Pub. Date: 2015-11-17
Image Number: 135314
Caption: I know what you 'bout to say, bruh, an' I ain't wanna hear none of that. How could you possibly know what I'm about to say, Clyde? I known you since we was 6 months old, Big L. We done had every conversation we could possibly have. You gonna talk about science fiction. I could tell by the way you almost bouncin' on your toes, all giddy. I always know what you gonna say by the degree of geekiness in your stance. Old friends are the worst. It's a disgusting display, bruh.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-02 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-02 Pub. Date: 2015-09-02
Image Number: 131900
Caption: Arms were the worst invention in the history of life, Clyde. If we didn't have arms, we would never even think to grab things that aren't ours. Look, bruh. I'ma tell you this one more time: I ain't took your wallet. Lips were the second worst. Lips lead to lies. They also lead to butt-whoopin's.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-29 worst 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-29 Pub. Date: 2014-06-29
Image Number: 112735
Caption: The first date is the worst, isn't it? It's like a job interview, only you're not supposed to ask about the benefits you'll be getting. … By "benefits," I don’t mean anything dirty. Not that there's anything wrong with being a little dirty, if both parties agree on that. ... I just mean "benefits" like health insurance and time off from work. ... Not that I'm implying you're a gold-digger or anything like that. ... Why don't we just order? I'll have a taxi.
     
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