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Candorville

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Result page:  Previous  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  Next  (318 images)


181. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-13 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-13 Pub. Date: 2011-09-13
Image Number: 65645
Caption: How you gonna always criticize President Obama, Dawg? 'Cause he's no Roosevelt. Roosevelt didn't try to be "bipartisan." He attacked war profiteers, Wall Street crooks and republicans who tried obstructing his jobs programs. And he almost never backed down. When people called him "Communist," Roosevelt didn't take the high road, Roosevelt called them greedy enemies of working Americans. Roosevelt didn't have to worry 'bout people dismissing him as an "angry black man."
     
182. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-15 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-15 Pub. Date: 2011-07-15
Image Number: 63191
Caption: How exactly did you "unleash an ancient evil that'll end the world"? That's a whole 'nother story. I'll tell you later. I don't get that. Why do people start something if they're not going to follow through? Either commit, or don’t waste my time. ... Guy troubles? I'll tell you later.
     
183. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-14 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-14 Pub. Date: 2011-07-14
Image Number: 63190
Caption: You're gonna have to testify. Ok. That eyewitness testimony was really damaging. It made you look nuts. Like when he said you claimed you unleashed an ancient evil that'll end the world. You have to testify that it was just a euphemism for passing gas or something. I SAID I'm sorry already.
     
184. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-17 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-17 Pub. Date: 2011-06-17
Image Number: 62127
Caption: You tweeted a picture of your WHAT? My junk! It was an accident! I was trying to send it privately to a doctor. Dios mio! I can't believe this! Me neither! Now the whole world knows I collect and sell Star Trek Voyager action figures. Wait … by "junk," you mean ... I've lost all my street cred at Startrektalk.com
     
185. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-16 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-16 Pub. Date: 2011-06-16
Image Number: 62126
Caption: What's wrong? The world is over. I’m ruined. I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to lose custody of my son. I'm going to lose everyone's respect. It can't be that bad, Lemont. I may have sort of … accidentally … tweeted a picture of my junk. It's never as bad as we ... say what?
     
186. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-05 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-05 Pub. Date: 2011-06-05
Image Number: 61193
Caption: I never thought I'd miss Stargate. Say what? Don't get me wrong, it was no Farscape or Babylon 5, or even Deep Space Nine … Don't. You wanna know why your geek shows keep getting' canceled? It's 'cause the people wanna hear about their own lives. They want it real. People wanna find out who the babydaddy is. Don't nobody care about the ballchinians from Planet Weewax. You don't get it. Sci-fi uses metaphor to make us see real-world issues in a different light. Like when Teal'c gated to Chulak to save his son Ryac from the Symbiote. He -- DON'T!
     
187. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-24 Pub. Date: 2011-05-24
Image Number: 61187
Caption: What's your name? You know my name. I'm Tyrone. You're Rosencrantz. No, in your head. What's your name in your head. Not what your parents named you … not what the world calls you. What do you call you? Rosencrantz. I don't get what -- NO, THAT'S TAKEN!!!
     
188. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-29 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-29 Pub. Date: 2011-04-29
Image Number: 60247
Caption: Let me get this straight: you wrote a story about you and me getting kidnapped in Mexico, infiltrating a drug cartel run by monsters, and causing the end of the world. And you want me to go to "Candorville dot com" backslash "2009," backslash "11," backslash "09," backslash "elevation," so I can read all about it because now you think it all really happened. Is that correct? No, it's not. It's not? You said "backslash," when those are clearly "forward slashes." Fascinating.
     
189. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-27 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-27 Pub. Date: 2011-04-27
Image Number: 60245
Caption: It's all coming back to me, Doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun as already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... how can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola ... Leave the poetry to your patients.
     
190. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-16 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-16 Pub. Date: 2011-04-16
Image Number: 59641
Caption: Sasha Mitchell said back in college she wanted to "give" you a baby? Yeah, isn't that flattering? What is this, the Victorian Age? A baby is a precious soul two people bring into the world together, not a "thing" to be "given" to a man like a gift! I kinda wish bustles would come back bustles were cool. I CAN'T STAND IT!!!
     
191. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-08 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-08 Pub. Date: 2011-04-08
Image Number: 59400
Caption: No, Lemont, I don't hide my money in shady offshore bank accounts to evade taxes. Oh. That's good to hear be-- I do it to evade the inevitable collapse of the American economy and the ensuing post-apocalyptic struggle for survival. But …. if our economy collapses, the whole world's economy collapses. Now that's just paranoid.
     
192. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-27 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-27 Pub. Date: 2011-01-27
Image Number: 56622
Caption: You're doubling my antipsychotic dosage? It's for your own good, Lemont. It won't help your custody dispute if you stand up in court … … and say you believe your ex is an evil, 400-year-old vampire who's using you and your son to fulfill an ancient prophecy and rule the world. What if I say it more ... diplomatically? Fascinating.
     
193. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-25 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-25 Pub. Date: 2011-01-25
Image Number: 56620
Caption: I've been having this dream for months, and it's getting stronger each time. You and I are lost in Mexico, being chased by wolves, drug cartels, el chupacabra and big foot … I make a deal with a demon, then half-vampire manipulates me, and I accidentally destroy the world. What does this all mean, doc? A new flat-screen for me.
     
194. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-11 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-11 Pub. Date: 2010-11-11
Image Number: 53959
Caption: Doc, I don't think the medicine you gave me is working. My … visions … are returning. I keep imagining Roxanne is an evil vampire who used me to father a child, in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy, become a daywalker, and conquer the world. And I keep imagining some guy named Saxon Kenchu is her half-human, half-vampire son who tried to help me defeat her but ended up suffering a fate worse than death. I warned you the Flintstones antipsychotic chewables might not work. BUT I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLS!
     
195. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-30 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-30 Pub. Date: 2010-10-30
Image Number: 53538
Caption: Twitter.com/candorville. The rest of the world says America is falling behind because its people have a short attention span. Or something like that.
     
196. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-03 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-03 Pub. Date: 2010-10-03
Image Number: 52457
Caption: So, what brings you to therapy? I'm arrogant. They all tell me so … my sister, my associates and other losers. I don’t want to answer any useless therapist questions. I just want to know one thing … Will the losers think I'm less arrogant if I travel to the third world and adopt a famine-baby? Because if not, I'd rather not waste my time. That's disgusting. You're right. Why should I care what losers think.
     
197. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-28 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-28 Pub. Date: 2010-09-28
Image Number: 52452
Caption: Do you want your impact on this world to outlast you? In the end, we either turn into a long-remembered story, or we fade away. If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … What would it be? "Hey! Look! He's breathing!" Good talk, Clyde.
     
198. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-28 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-28 Pub. Date: 2010-07-28
Image Number: 50001
Caption: The satirical world of Lemont's newspaper column is filled with characters from his real life -- whom he depicts as duplicitous and evil -- like his fiancée, Roxanne. How does Roxanne feel about that? Earlier that evening … Is there anything you DON'T want me to ask? Well ... I'm going through a messy custody fight with my ex-fiancée, Roxanne. I don't want to talk about her AT ALL. How do you spell your name again, Wendy?
     
199. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-26 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-26 Pub. Date: 2010-07-26
Image Number: 49999
Caption: The world of literature is one of the most competitive there is. Tonight we have two writers who broke into the business against pretty long odds. They have a lot in common. Stephen King is the author of 20,000 books that've sold a combined total of eleventy-billion copies. Lemont Brown is the author of three books, 30 copies sold - total.
     
200. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-25 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-25 Pub. Date: 2010-04-25
Image Number: 46588
Caption: … So there I was in the underpants aisle, when I saw him! It was my shrink! Buying underpants! We made eye contact! I know we made eye contact! But he totally ignored me. I mean yeah, when I first went to therapy he said he'd ignore me if we ever crossed paths outside this safe room, but c'mon! But then I realized, maybe this shrink did me a favor by being so incredibly rude to me. Being ignored is my worst fear, and he made me face it. He cured me of my problem ... ... By being a complete jerk-ward. I see. Fascinating. But you started therapy to be cured of your passive-aggressiveness. Turns out the world needs jerk-wads.
     
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