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Candorville

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-13 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-13 Pub. Date: 2014-12-13
Image Number: 119938
Caption: What's wrong? England found King Richard III's remains under a parking lot. Oh … what's wrong with that? I used to think the world was a lot more exciting, Susan. Whatever happened to sweaty archeologists being chased through catacombs by bad guys, uncovering ancient, booby-trapped tombs ... What happened to the booby traps? Real life's interesting enough, Lemont. A parking lot??
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-07 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-07 Pub. Date: 2014-11-07
Image Number: 118499
Caption: I miss those late-night dorm room conversations that could make me see the world differently. For instance, if we were in college right now … … I might point out that we're all basically surgically attached to our Smartphones. Which means we've evolved into A SPECIES OF CYBORGS. ... And that if you Google the definition of "cyborg" to prove me wrong, THAT'LL PROVE ME RIGHT. You right, that DID make me see things different. Now I know I didn't miss nothin' not going to college.
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-05 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-05 Pub. Date: 2014-11-05
Image Number: 118497
Caption: Well, the republicans did pretty well yesterday. Of course they did. For the first time, the younger generations are doing worse than the older ones, and our influence in the world is waning. Whenever a civilization's in decline, whoever's better at pointing fingers wins control. Little known fact: before he was emperor, Napoleon taught a class on scapegoating at a junior college. I thought you were going to stay away from Wikipedia.
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-24 Pub. Date: 2014-10-24
Image Number: 117918
Caption: You know what made World War II "great" aside from "good" and "evil" being clearly defined? It ended. It was like a novel with a shocking beginning, a perilous middle and a climactic, definitive ending. Today's war's like a tired soap opera the network keeps on the air as long as it's earning them money.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-04 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-04 Pub. Date: 2014-10-04
Image Number: 117061
Caption: You may have heard of the recent epidemic of people eating people. Spare change. RUN! Some believe it's the zombie apocalypse. But I think it's just a cry for attention. We're all so busy trying to be heard that we don’t actually listen to anyone anymore. If you agree, please "Like" me on Facebook. You hear something? RUN! (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-06-11).
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-28 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-28 Pub. Date: 2014-09-28
Image Number: 116324
Caption: I'm through with looking for a woman to date. That's drastic. Dr. Noodle. Not really. I've realized I've always had a void, deep in my soul. PhD. I've always felt alone, unloved, unneeded … As if there were no one expecting me to be a great man. When I was a kid, I filled that void with comics. Then later, with a woman's love. But you've realized the void is just too deep for anyone to fill? There is no woman alive who can love me so completely ... that I'll finally feel like I'm an important part of the world and I have a purpose. You're thinking of seeking God's love? I'm thinking of dating two women.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-10 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-10 Pub. Date: 2014-09-10
Image Number: 116185
Caption: If the celebrities didn’t want the world to see their naked pictures, they shouldn’t have taken naked pictures. That's ridiculous. That's like saying if you don’t want your money stolen, you shouldn’t have put your money in your wallet. That's a dumb analogy. What I do with my own money is nobody's business. But what women do with their bodies IS? I'm glad we can agree on something.
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-24 Pub. Date: 2014-08-24
Image Number: 114841
Caption: Oh, don't be so provincial. You should be thanking me. In a lot of the world, lice is considered an excellent source of protein. Will work for food. Spare change?
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-21 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-21 Pub. Date: 2014-08-21
Image Number: 115242
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. One of my favorite things in the world was to make you all laugh. I always knew that. You'd combine classy and dirty jokes, wisdom and erudition and throw them at us so fast and from so many different directions … ... it was like you were a new dad trying to get his baby to laugh and think at the same time. Are you trying to say I made you laugh so hard you ... yourself? Let's keep this clean.
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-06 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-06 Pub. Date: 2014-08-06
Image Number: 114619
Caption: The world moves really fast, Susan. It feels like just a few years ago I was on the cutting edge 'cause I knew how to program a website with HTML. But it's as if I blinked for a second, and the whole world ran past me and I don't have the skills to keep up. STOP IT!!!! (Originally published on 2012-02-02).
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-03 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-03 Pub. Date: 2014-06-03
Image Number: 112088
Caption: My new song about how it's a diff'rent world for women than it is for men. I never wonder if every dude I talk to is tryin' to get in my pants. Women have to wonder that all the time. I don’t have to guard my drink just in case some dude drugs it. Women have to do that kinda thing. What have you done with the REAL Clyde? I don't have to wonder if THAT was a double-entendre.
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-20 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-20 Pub. Date: 2014-05-20
Image Number: 111555
Caption: You're with WHAT? "Jehovah's Alibi." Wit' all the terrible things happening in the world today … … You may be wonderin' if a higher power know you done some o' that. … An you may be wonderin' how you can blame that higher power for the stuff you done did. Tell me more. Kevin, give a copy of the I-Ain't-Seen-Nothin' Tower.
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-05 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-05 Pub. Date: 2014-03-05
Image Number: 108215
Caption: You tweeted a picture of your WHAT? My junk! It was an accident! I was trying to send it privately to a doctor. Dios mio! I can't believe this! Me neither! Now the whole world knows I collect and sell Star Trek Voyager action figures. Wait … By "junk," you mean ... I've lost all my street cred at startrektalk.com.
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-04 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-04 Pub. Date: 2014-03-04
Image Number: 108214
Caption: What's wrong? The world is over. I'm ruined. I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to lose custody of my son. I'm going to lose everyone's respect. It can't be that bad, Lemont. I may have sort of … accidentally … tweeted a picture of my junk. It's never as bad as we ... say what?
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-03 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-03 Pub. Date: 2014-02-03
Image Number: 106772
Caption: Nobody understands why I hang out with you, Clyde. You're a thug, I'm not. You have no career, I do. You don’t care about the world, I report on it for a living. That's what they think, anyway, because they're not capable of looking past your loser image and seeing the real you. That's a compliment. If you have to say "that's a compliment," it ain't no compliment.
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-28 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-28 Pub. Date: 2014-01-28
Image Number: 106767
Caption: What's your name? You know my name. I'm Tyrone. You're Rosencrantz. No, in your head. What's your name in your head. Not what your parent named you … not what the world calls you. What do YOU call you? Rosencrantz, I don’t get what. NO, THAT'S TAKEN!!!
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-24 Pub. Date: 2014-01-24
Image Number: 106502
Caption: Today … Clyde, you know how Governor Thugman's office had the world's busiest bridge shut down for petty political revenge? I've been investigating that for my blog, trying to find out who gave him the idea in the first place. The callousness of it … the stupidity of it ... keeps leading me back to one possibility, Clyde. I was as shocked as you to learn my homie "Big Oatmeal" went an' gave him advice behind my back. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. Way to take responsibility, Clyde.
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-11 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-11 Pub. Date: 2014-01-11
Image Number: 120711
Caption: I still can't believe the president is normalizing relations with Cuba. Me neither. You realize how long it's been since America let its people hang out in Cuba? Two words, Susan: "Ricky Ricardo." The U.S. has been giving Cuba the cold shoulder ever since Rickey Ricardo was married to Lucy, and it took till now for us to admit it wasn't working. Gene Roddenberry was still trying to sell some tv show about World War II. You lost me on that one. The original Star Trek wouldn't even exist for another five years!
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-20 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-20 Pub. Date: 2013-12-20
Image Number: 105214
Caption: Feudalbanc Massacard, this is Carol Ann, how may ah help yew, sugah? Oh, thank God, last time I was stuck talking to someone in Indonesia. Oh I know just what yew mean, like one tam, I was tryin' ta get ta Jacksonville an' I took the wrong plane. Fell asleep, an' when I woke up, wouldja believe I was lookin' at the Eiffel Tower? Well all I wanted in the whole world was to talk to a real live Amurican right about then. That brings to mind a funny story. Take about an hour ta tell it right. Could you transfer me to someone in Indonesia?
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-13 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-13 Pub. Date: 2013-11-13
Image Number: 103800
Caption: I just got slapped with a cease and desist notice from Twitter's lawyers. They're trademarking "TWEET." The Starbucks at the End of the World. I can't tweet anymore unless I pay royalties! I don’t believe that happened, Lemont. You say that all the time. (This cartoon originally published on 10/22/2011).
     
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