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Candorville

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201. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-25 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-27 Pub. Date: 2005-12-25
Image Number: 12590
Caption: War without end, federal agents abusing the Patriot Act to ready my journal without my permission, outrageous gas prices, skyrocketing housing prices, hundreds of thousands of jobs lost or outsourced and a White House that tortures war prisoners. Oh, and then there's rejection by the New Yorker, bad dates and a receding hairline. Dios mio, Lemont. And you did you get for Christmas, Clyde? Socks from momma. Oh, I also got unaffordable health care.
     
202. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-14 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-14 Pub. Date: 2005-12-14
Image Number: 12486
Caption: The White House continues to deny that the President has sealed himself in a large plastic bubble to avoid Iraq war critics. Let’s go to some generic talking head you've never heard of for our analysis. Chad? Ted, we can't assume that just 'cause someone seals themself in a bubble, they're trying to avoid tough questions about their position on Iraq. Hold on, Chad. This just in ... Senator Clinton has sealed herself inside a large plastic bubble.
     
203. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-13 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-13 Pub. Date: 2005-12-13
Image Number: 12461
Caption: This just in. The President has sealed himself inside a large plastic bubble. Some speculate that is a last-ditch attempt to isolate himself from bad news. The White House quickly condemned such speculation as "irresponsible" and "inappropriate." The President is simply taking the appropriate precaution against the bird flu.
     
204. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-07 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-07 Pub. Date: 2005-12-07
Image Number: 12424
Caption: There. I just posted a scathing article on my blog, condemning black people who use the "N-word." I don't care if it's a black or white person sayin' it, the word is offensive. I bet other black people out there will appreciate my speakin' out against the use of the "N****." Jeffrey, go get my picket signs and call the NAACP.
     
205. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-04 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-06 Pub. Date: 2005-12-04
Image Number: 12394
Caption: I'm Bob Roberts. Today on the Sunday morning political show, the hot topic is the indictment of White House official Scooter Libby for perjury. Here to represent the republican contention that perjury and obstruction of justice are no big deal and not worth prosecuting, is republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. Representing the opposite argument, we have Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison from the year 1999 when she zealously backed the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for perjury. Bob, my younger self has it all wrong. Perjury is just a technicality prosecutors use when they can't prove any real crime happened. I disagree honesty is they lynchpin of our criminal justice system. Perjury must be punished harshly or we're all doomed. With all due respect, Bob, my older self is a partisan hypocrite. And my younger self is a conniving fanatic!
     
206. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-01 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-01 Pub. Date: 2005-12-01
Image Number: 12357
Caption: So you threw the guy out 'cause he was white? From Europe. And he was trying to lecture me about black American culture. Maybe I'm wrong to dismiss him, but it ticks me off when white people think they know minority cultures better than minorities do. White people have been doing that for centuries. It's like a tradition with them. You know a lot about white traditions, huh? Better then they know themselves.
     
207. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-30 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-30 Pub. Date: 2005-11-30
Image Number: 12356
Caption: I'm very offended that you said your friend Clyde is "inarticulate" just 'cause he says "*@#$?*" every other word. You obviously know nothing of the way black people talk. Cuss words are a beautiful expression of black culture. But you mock that 'cause you're a bigot. Are you aware that you're white and I'm black? Why do you ask? No reason. Now lemme explain to you how black people talk.
     
208. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-29 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-29 Pub. Date: 2005-11-29
Image Number: 12326
Caption: Let me get this straight. Clyde says you "talk white," so you tell Clyde he "talks ignorant." You write about it on your blog. Some offended reader e-mails you, saying you're "disrespecting the rich tradition of black language,' and that you know nothing about black people. You agree to meet this guy, and when he shows up you throw him out. That's rude. Why would you throw him out?
     
209. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-28 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-28 Pub. Date: 2005-11-28
Image Number: 12325
Caption: Dear Mr. Brown, I just read your blog entry about how your friend Clyde said you "don't sound Black" because you speak "proper" English. Who are you to say what's "proper"? Black American English is a language unto itself. It's as "proper" as the stuffy White Boy English you cherish. But you'd know that if weren't such a Klan-loving bigot who wants to put Blacks back in shackles you racist buffoon. Respectfully, [Name Withheld]
     
210. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-18 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-20 Pub. Date: 2005-11-18
Image Number: 12253
Caption: Why did I suddenly become a conservative, fire-and-brimstone type, you ask? The times, my boy. White House offered our church $500,000. Sin is rising and the Lord needs soldiers and shepherds. While House offered our church $500,000. Even I, the Reverend Wilfred, can't ignore the harsh world we live in today. White House offered our church $500,000. What? What?
     
211. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-19 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-20 Pub. Date: 2005-11-19
Image Number: 12254
Caption: Lemont, I'm sorry for saying you don't sound black. Black people are diverse too. You' my boy, Ls. We been tight since we was shorties. You don't have to speak slang to be down wit' me. You still can't borrow $2, Clyde. Oreo.
     
212. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-16 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-17 Pub. Date: 2005-11-16
Image Number: 12230
Caption: Your yang is bougie, fool. Lemont, you don't sound black because you speak proper english. You just ain't down, N*^&$! You/re more articulate than I, and that makes me feel inferior. Ya need some flava in yo' game, white boy! I can't relate to you sometimes because you don't sound like me. Just 'cause people don't need subtitles to understand me doesn't mean I don't "sound black," Clyde. You @*$% moron.
     
213. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-11-06 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-11-06 Pub. Date: 2005-11-06
Image Number: 12153
Caption: Unemployment Checks. Yeah, I'm between gigs right now. Me too. I'm a rapper, usually. What about you? I'm Al Qaeda's number two man in Iraq. The White House coincidentally kills me every time there's a political scandal or the news from Iraq gets too bleak. It's seasonal work, so ... Y'know. I feel you, Dawg. Next!
     
214. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-19 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-19 Pub. Date: 2005-10-19
Image Number: 11964
Caption: President Bush defends his nomination of a log to the supreme court. I've known this log for a long time, folks. This log has a good heart. Logs don't have hearts, Mr. President. Or any internal organs for that matter. They're inanimate objects, sir. Now hold on -- The log deserves respect.
     
215. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-18 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-18 Pub. Date: 2005-10-18
Image Number: 11963
Caption: The president's supreme court nominee faces opposition. Mr. President, critics point out that cedar logs aren't qualified to sit on the supreme court. Helen, there's gonna be folks who object because they're partisan, or they're elitist, or even anti-tree. "Anti-tree," sir? Logs come from trees, Helen. Everyone knows that.
     
216. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-16 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-17 Pub. Date: 2005-10-16
Image Number: 11947
Caption: Lemont, where was Dick Cheney while people were dying in the New Orleans flood? Well … Way I see it, there are three possibilities, Susan. Option one: He was bass fishing in the one part of Wyoming where there's no cell phone service, no TV and no tin cans on strings. Option two: After Cheney #7 died of a heart attack, Cheney #8 was busy being cloned in a the White House basement's secret laboratory. Her couldn't be reached on the phone because he was still gestating in his vat. Option three: Cheney had more important things to do. I think number two sounds most realistic. Me too.
     
217. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-17 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-17 Pub. Date: 2005-10-17
Image Number: 11962
Caption: President Bush nominates a log to the U.S. Supreme Court. Stretch, go ahead. Mr. President, critics argue that a log isn't the best choice for the Supreme Court. Of course it is. If the log weren't the best choice, I wouldn't have appointed it. I've known this log for years. Chopped fish on it. It's strong. Solid. It definitely won't be an activist judge.
     
218. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-10-09 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-10-13 Pub. Date: 2005-10-09
Image Number: 11929
Caption: Meanwhile in an alternative universe where the response to the New Orleans flood was competent … Tuesday, August 30, 2005. Rather than playing golf today, the president sent the National Guard to new Orleans to join rescue efforts which -- instead of being haphazard -- were the result of years of careful planning by local officials. Tuesday evening ... Congress has granted the president emergency powers. The president has ordered police departments across the nation to contribute helicopters and pilots for food drops and to rescue citizens from rooftops. Thousands of national guardsmen have begun arriving in New Orleans. Wednesday, August 31, 2005. The sky is filled with helicopters. The president has ordered Greyhound to send all area buses to New Orleans and calls on truck owners in the region to volunteer evacuate the desperate citizens. Instead of condemning people for taking what they need to survive, the White House has ordered National Guard troops to crack down only on those looting non-essentials. Instead of blaming the victims. the head of FEMA has noted that the poor didn't have the resources to evacuate the city. Thursday September 1, 2005. New Orleans has been devastated, but quick action by authorities gave people enough hope that few resorted to violence. It could have been much worse. And instead of spending thousands of dollars on shoes in New York, Condoleezza Rice is doing her job.
     
219. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-16 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-16 Pub. Date: 2005-09-16
Image Number: 11635
Caption: White House press conference, two weeks ago. Ok, maybe the President did cut hundreds of millions of dollars from New Orleans' flood control program even after local officials warned us this would happen in order to fund tax cuts and the war in Iraq…..
     
220. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-09-15 white 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-09-15 Pub. Date: 2005-09-15
Image Number: 11614
Caption: White House press conference, two weeks ago. Ok, maybe the President did cut hundreds of millions of dollars from New Orleans' flood control program even after local officials warned us this would happen in order to fund tax cuts and the war in Iraq…..
     
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