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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about wars and warring.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-27 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-27 Pub. Date: 2019-01-27
Image Number: 175735
Caption: Ever since the president announced he'd be pulling troops out of Syria, I've felt like some nefarious entity has put blinders on me. And I only see what they want me to see. Dr. Noodle. I spent all day channel-flipping between MSNBC, Fox and CNN … and reading all the usual newspapers ... and then it hit me ... I didn't read or hear a single voice saying we should not be militarily occupying other people's countries. It's as if the media's entire purpose is to pretend there is no dissenting opinion about our endless wars. Look what happened when Phil Donahue. He had the highest rated show on MSNBC. But as soon as he came out against invading Iraq, he disappeared! Anti-war voices in the media always disappear. That's a bit paran ... Hey ... where'd you ... ?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-07 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-07 Pub. Date: 2018-10-07
Image Number: 174190
Caption: House of Java Café. Grand Opening. I come from a long line of warriors. Women from my family have served in all 49 World Wars. There were only two. You don't think the first world war was fought in 1914, do you? Let's take for instance, the so-called Seven Years War ... The year was 1750: My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma Sadie dared a Frenchman to build a house in the British Ohio River Valley ... yadda yadda yadda, all the world's great powers ended up fighting across five different continents. We've served similarly in every world war dating back to the epic struggle between the allied dinosaurs and the axis of invertebrates. Admit it: There've been more than just two world wars. There's no shame in admitting you were wrong. Ok. I was wrong. Loser! He's a loser! The loser admits it! Can't win.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-30 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-30 Pub. Date: 2018-09-30
Image Number: 174071
Caption: I read that dumb article you wrote, where you said we should have magical fairies deliver caramel-covered mountains of cash in sacks made of rainbows to every man, woman and child. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't do it … don't do it. That's not all what I wrote. I wrote that we should give our war veterans better access to health care, education, and job training. If you have to explain what you wrote, then what you wrote wasn't very clear. Gah!!!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-17 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-17 Pub. Date: 2018-08-17
Image Number: 173503
Caption: Assuming I were to buy that you accidentally crawled back through time to 1942 in an air duct … what happened next? I climbed back in, of course. Interviewing that child in FDR's internment camp filled me with a searing compulsion to interview one of the thousands in Trump's. I crept past exit after exit before I noticed they were marked. In tiny letter. One read Pennsylvania 1879-1918, Pratt's Indian Boarding Schools. The next one read 1619-1865 Slave Family Separation. On second thought, you know what they say about assuming things.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-16 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-16 Pub. Date: 2018-08-16
Image Number: 173502
Caption: America betrayed its Japanese citizens. Stole their homes. Shipped them at gunpoint to concentration camps. Demeaned them. Dehumanized them. Declared them aliens. Abused them … but when I interviewed five-year-old George, he was … ok. Not happy, but … ok. His dad had told him it was all part of their vacation. Wait ... back up ... you're saying you snuck into an air duct here in Candorville ... and climbed out of it in an internment camp in Arkansas in the year 1942? That's not important right now. Important part is, kids can be ok with anything ... as long as they've got mom and dad there to lie to them.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-08 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-08 Pub. Date: 2018-08-08
Image Number: 173375
Caption: Dick, when you told me the Fitzhugh meeting was changed from the conference room to the laundromat across the street … Were you trying to make me miss the meeting? Of course not, Ms. Garcia. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. It was a simple mix-up. You do not suspect that I'm sabotaging you or that I want your job. Are you trying the Jedi mind trick on me? I may be excused.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-11 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-11 Pub. Date: 2018-07-11
Image Number: 172714
Caption: In the refugee detention center. Pardon me, sir, when are we to be set free? BACK, MEAT. "Meat"?! I'll have you know I was wearing fatigues and slogging across Europe for Uncle Sam before your daddy was spawned! A LITTLE RESPECT, SIR! You're right. Back, MR. Meat. That's better.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-24 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171761
Caption: You know what I like best about being a dad? When my little boy curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I hold him tight and know he feels war and safe, and I feel like I can protect him from anything. Even from time. Because as long as he lives, he'll be able to close his eyes and remember this feeling and be two years old again ... hopefully without the wetting himself part. It's important to know when you stop talking.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-19 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171506
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. Sigh. Just put on Gilligan's Island.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-29 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-29 Pub. Date: 2018-04-29
Image Number: 170626
Caption: I read your article called We Still Have Slavery in America. What a load of nonsense. Everyone knows our dear, sweet and wonderful Congress abolished slavery with the thirteenth amendment. That's right. But that same 13th amendment says Except as punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly connected. Trump calls mass incarceration "good start". Black and brown people are stopped more often, and convicted more harshly than white people who've done that same stuff, our prisons are mostly black and brown. They force these people to work. Sometimes for next to nothing. But often for nothing at all. They lease convicts out to work in mines, to pick cotton on farms, to sew lingerie, to build weapons of war, and if they refuse to work for free, they're punished. Yeah, well ... slavery was in the 19th century. This is the 21st, ipso facto, it can't be slavery. Haven't you wondered why they've sent millions and millions to prison for smoking the wrong plant?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-16 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-16 Pub. Date: 2018-03-16
Image Number: 169397
Caption: In 2002. I blogged about how the rush to war in Iraq was wrong. People replied why do you love Saddam? In 2013, I wrote that drone strikes were creating more terrorists because we keep oopsy-bombing weddings and such … People replied why do you love terrorists? The other day, I wrote that some toothpastes contain chemicals linked to cancer. Guess how people replied? I'd rather not.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-13 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169394
Caption: I’m started an ongoing series on my news site where I cover stories the country has forgotten about. Dr. Noodle. I'll be covering how people are still being poisoned in Flint, how the Sioux are still fighting to keep an oil company from threatening their water supply, etc ... The preface I'm writing reminds people we're still at war in Afghanistan after 17 years ... Yes, yes. But the fact remains, I can't diagnose the entire country with amnesia without losing my license. C'mon, it would add so much to the preface.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-26 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168927
Caption: Did you know that while nobody was paying any attention, evil neo Nazis have overrun Ukraine? And our military industrial complex is sending them weapons? Wait ... what? But it's ok, because when they become a big enough threat, our military industrial complex will also get to send weapons to their enemies. So it'll all even out. Sarcasm Monday strikes again. It's nice to see our defense contractors finally making a profit.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-25 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-25 Pub. Date: 2018-02-25
Image Number: 168231
Caption: I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle … each of which lives, breathes, performs tasks, and quite possibly considers itself to be a conscious individual with free will. The thought reminded me of when I was in the army. Each of us was an individual cell focused on an individual task ... but before we knew it, because of the decisions made unbeknownst to any of us grunts ... the body of us, the colony we all comprised ... had marched across Europe, and swum across the Pacific, and liberated half the world ... maybe I prescribed you a little too much Cannabis. You may think you thought that thought, but you're just an antibody reflexively protecting the colony.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-19 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-19 Pub. Date: 2018-02-19
Image Number: 168660
Caption: North Korea just detonated a hydrogen bomb and warned that it's ready to go to war. Click. An alarming new study proves that something in your apartment is almost certain to cause elbow cancer. Stay tuned to find out what it is. Click. The dwarf planet Ceres seems to have broken orbit and is plummeting straight toward earth. Stay tu ... Click. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiife ... "
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-01 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-01 Pub. Date: 2018-02-01
Image Number: 167920
Caption: Spoiler warning for The Last Jedi is all you had to say, bruh. It's been months. If people haven't seen it yet, that's their own problem. Still, don't nobody wanna know that Princess Leia flies like Mary Poppins. Why's it have to be Mary Poppins? That's sexist. Fine. Peter Pan. You happy?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-28 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166536
Caption: I saw that review of The Last Jedi you posted, Big L. You need to cut that out. You said it made you feel like a kid again. You said Luke Skywalker was amazing. You said it was the bet thing since Empire. Then I saw the movie. That spit was the worst thing since Phantom Menace. Your Jedi mind tricks ain't gonna change that. A positive review isn't a Jedi mind trick just 'cause you disagree with it. Your headline was this is the Star Wars you're looking for.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-15 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166005
Caption: Ok, I'll go with you to see "Star Wars." But I'm not dressing up as Princess Leia this time. Too painful. I don't want to go to the ladies room, catch a glimpse of my Leia hairbuns, and start crying. I know exactly how you feel. I'm not dressing as Han Solo this time, either. Harrison Ford is still alive. Han Solo wasn't a real person, Lemont. It's not the same. Yeah, but Carrie Fisher's the one I'll see onscreen. In a way, she's still alive too.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-08 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165707
Caption: Some cat said "Merry Christmas" to me. I didn't hear him 'cause I had my earbuds on, listenin' to old Biz Markie tracks. So I didn't say nothin' back. Then this fool got in my face talkin' bout there a "War on Christmas." I told him what the @#$% you talkin' bout, bruh? There a war e'ry day. We been at war ever since my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard was on the radio in '03. What" What?
     
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