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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-16 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-16 Pub. Date: 2019-02-16
Image Number: 176310
Caption: Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-13 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-13 Pub. Date: 2019-02-13
Image Number: 176307
Caption: I'm Herbert. Darlene. I'm busy. I noticed that. You look intense. Are you one of those people working herself to death? You're not going to have a heart attack or something? I'd just hate to witness a horrible event like that. It would be very rude of you, frankly. Not enjoying the conversation.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-04 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-04 Pub. Date: 2019-02-04
Image Number: 176182
Caption: Rudy, I want you to get to know my pet gerbil. I think I'm catching a cold. He's not good in new situations. I can hear you. This is weird. Don't freak out, Rudy. Trust me, it's all very normal. Want a hand bath? I want a Kleenex. Help.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-11 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-11 Pub. Date: 2019-01-11
Image Number: 175762
Caption: You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Basketball Squad?! I surely did not. I absolutely did not give any steroids to the girls on the team. What's with the quote marks? They surround words that can be legally disputed. Very creepy. Nothing improper happened.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-27 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-27 Pub. Date: 2018-12-27
Image Number: 175594
Caption: You'll note that we phrase your celebrity endorsements very carefully, and you should not deviate from script. Like when you advertise for Milt Johnson & Sons, your favorite name in outer space real estate. Be careful to say it's the only name you'd consider when acquiring property rights on a distant or as-of-yet undiscovered plant but didn't mention that such rights may not exist. It insults a listener's intelligence. I want a house on Pandora. @#$%
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-20 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-20 Pub. Date: 2018-12-20
Image Number: 175495
Caption: Mortkey, want to go to a museum? You? A museum? There's an iPod museum? Very funny. It's an art museum. I thought we could go together. Sounds like a worthy outing. But it's a trap. Rudy actually is tricking Mortkey into getting into the car so he can drive the condescending little monkey to ... Obedience school?! Gotcha.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-17 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-17 Pub. Date: 2018-12-17
Image Number: 175492
Caption: Thanks for recycling. Pardon? I'm being sarcastic. You tossed your cup into the trash rather than the recycling bin. Very thoughtful. The less we recycle, the more of the earth's resources we use, and the greater change my natural habitat will be destroyed. Though, technically, I came from a test tube, but you get my point. So totally lost.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-19 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-19 Pub. Date: 2018-11-19
Image Number: 175070
Caption: I've scrubbed the interweb. Internet. And I can find no evidence I've got a long lost, twin sister. What did you search under? The obvious phrase: Wicked-tongue octogenarian with bodacious bod seeks twin sister with the same. Did get one very weird adult site. Earmuffs!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-10 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-10 Pub. Date: 2018-11-10
Image Number: 174832
Caption: I had a very rewarding week. Weird. What? You sound almost happy, satisfied. HOJ. So strange for someone with such a meaningless, dead-end existence to find amid his personal rubble a nugget of joy. Defeat snatched from the jaws of a vague sense of contentedness. It's almost enough to give me hope.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-07 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-07 Pub. Date: 2018-10-07
Image Number: 174218
Caption: Check out this brilliant photo. Not interested. I'll blow it up. It's high-concept. It's me and five friends on a hike. One friend took a picture of another. Then a third friend took a picture of those two, and so on. It's totally meta! Freeze! What? Zoom in on the side. What is that? It's Bigfoot! You were so consumed with your gadgets you missed Sasquatch?! Big deal. It's not like we had an extra camera for him. The proverbial big picture is very, very frightening.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-16 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-16 Pub. Date: 2018-09-16
Image Number: 173916
Caption: One cup of coffee, please. Coming right up. Your son's adorable. Thank you. He's the light of my life. Do you have kids? No. I mean, not yet. I didn't mean to pry. That's just fine. What is? You can be childless and still live a very fulfilling life. Not for a second do I feel your existence will be any less rich without a little creature to hug and teach and carry on your legacy. Not for even one millisecond do I feel that way! Are you married? Gotta remember to lie in these situations.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-13 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-13 Pub. Date: 2018-09-13
Image Number: 173991
Caption: Uncle Mort and Sadie are swingers?! Of a sort. So they get together with other couples, and then swap partners and then … Argue. Huh? Older folks get tired of arguing with the same person day in and day out. I can't tell if I'm let down, or very, very relieved. Spirited, consensual spousal argument swapping.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-05 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-05 Pub. Date: 2018-09-05
Image Number: 173919
Caption: Peek inside, will you, a press conference held by our very own namesake, Rudy Park. He's vowed to reveal some powerful news. And here it comes … I'm fed up with Apple. I can tell from your stunned silence that you're desperate to hear more. We're riveted. Hold down the clamor.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-29 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171958
Caption: I did some research. I read the respected New England Journal of Astrophysics, and it looks like you're right … Gamma ray bursts have to come from pretty close by in order to fry all life on earth. So we won't die. Their calculations showed that the worst a gamma ray burst could do is turn us green and make us very, very angry. Might want to doublecheck to make sure you weren't reading their April 1st edition. It's not all bad. They found it may also boost stamina and strength.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-25 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-25 Pub. Date: 2018-05-25
Image Number: 171810
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-Bert … He's tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... Who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-17 very 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-17 Pub. Date: 2018-04-17
Image Number: 170593
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say person A developed a crush on person B, who happens to be less productive. Let's say person A then conducted a study that concluded there's a 78.9% chance that such a crush leads to dating, then to cohabitation, and finally to person B becoming a a drain on person A's resources. Hypothetically, what's the best way to get person B to compensate person A for the time I ... he ... spent conducting the study? Very bad man.
     
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