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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about two-year-olds.

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-02 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-02 Pub. Date: 2014-07-02
Image Number: 113185
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on Earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly thought Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-06 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-06 Pub. Date: 2014-06-06
Image Number: 112091
Caption: Lionel's been asking me about that big bug ever since he saw me pound it 42 times with my shoe. How would YOU teach a two-year-old about DEATH, Clyde? You come to the right place, Big L. I just what to know what NOT to do. You'll need a muppet and a shovel.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-20 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-20 Pub. Date: 2013-11-20
Image Number: 104084
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-11).
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-25 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-25 Pub. Date: 2013-10-25
Image Number: 102930
Caption: Wanna come over and watch C-Span with Lionel and me? No, I … Wait. Wait a second. You and your two-year-old son watch C-Span together? You mean PBS, right? "Sesame Street"? No, I mean C-Span. The channel that shows Congress in action. Why? Just … WHY? Because he's too young to watch "The Walking Dead." I can't make it. I'll be busy forgetting this conversation.
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-01 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-01 Pub. Date: 2013-10-01
Image Number: 102216
Caption: Processing … Processing … Installing software update that'll consume so many system resources that your two-year-old phone will slow to a crawl and you'll have no choice but to upgrade to the new phone. What was that? Um … I mean … "processing … "
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-13 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-13 Pub. Date: 2013-09-13
Image Number: 101336
Caption: Where's this bus? My son's waiting for me. Where he waitin' at? What do you mean? Where do you think he's waiting? Could be anyplace. He's two, Clyde. Where do you suppose a two-year-old would be waiting for his father? Corner of 47th … Corner of 51st ... An alley ... where he usually assemble his crew? You were an awful child, Clyde.
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-09 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-09 Pub. Date: 2013-03-09
Image Number: 94135
Caption: I have a two-year-old, Clyde. I need to be really selective about the women I date. I can't date someone who doesn’t want to have kids. That'd be a formula for disaster. You so wrong. It's the formula for a easy escape. Date a girl who don’t want kids. Then when she try to get a commitment, say "Hey, there's somethin' I forgot to tell you ... " Good talk, Clyde. Thug 4 Life.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-08 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-08 Pub. Date: 2013-03-08
Image Number: 94134
Caption: Maybe you and Lemont aren't destined to be together after all. You're so very different. He's a sci-fi fanatic, but you watch Lifetime movies. He loves Korean food, but you can't stand it. He's got a two-year-old, but you don’t want kids. How on Earth do you know all this? You're a private person, but he blogs about everything.
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-11 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-11 Pub. Date: 2012-04-11
Image Number: 79196
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-24 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-24 Pub. Date: 2011-11-24
Image Number: 73210
Caption: I don’t see why you need a playpen for a two-year-old. That's why 2 million Americans in prison today. In our most impressionable years … … They get us used to a cot, a couple toys and four claustrophobic walls topped with barbed wire. You were an awful child. I was four before I realized that was just a Teddy Ruxpin in the guard tower.
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-10 two-year-old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-10 Pub. Date: 2010-01-10
Image Number: 42642
Caption: Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? … An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me.
     
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