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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about trees and treeing.

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Result page:    2  Next  (31 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-07 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-07 Pub. Date: 2019-09-07
Image Number: 179299
Caption: You know the Amazon produces a lot of oxygen, and now it's burning up? So? This a good thing, bruh. Amazon rainforest makes oxygen. People breathe it in. Know what they breath out? Carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide be causing global warming. By transitive logic, the Amazon rainforest be causin' global warming. That's ... look, for one thing, the Amazon soaks up carbon dioxide. Tell it to make up its mind.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-07 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-07 Pub. Date: 2019-06-07
Image Number: 177956
Caption: Hi, Momma. Yes, The Giving Tree book you send Lionel did just arrive. Well … we didn't call to thank you because it just got her 20 minutes ago. Well … Yes, actually, calling you in 19 minutes ago would have been too much trouble, because we were racing out to get to day care in time. Well ... yes, I do remember how long you were in labor. But I don't see what that ahs to do with -- well ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-05 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-05 Pub. Date: 2019-05-05
Image Number: 177448
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jollee? My unhappy coworkers. Dr. Noodle. They're the ones with the problem, not me. I'm happy. All of the time. All of the time? Every moment, I greet the world with a smile and with laughter! No matter what's happening! Aaris brought donuts, and I said What a great guy! whenever anyone makes a sale, I lead a cheer! When Andy fell out the window, I shouted Cheer up! There're trees down there! Aim for those! What? The next day, everyone else was moping around, but not me. I put on a smile and said On the bright side, almost all the cactuses are still ok! ... and that's when they sent you to therapy. No, they sent me here after I gave the eulogy.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-18 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-18 Pub. Date: 2019-04-18
Image Number: 177223
Caption: Shouldn't we be doing something constructive, Rosencrantz? Will ear for food. I am, Tyrone. It is a known fact that there has never been a human achievement that was not first the figment of one person's imagination. Are you still expecting a hamburger tree to sprout from the sidewalk? Expecting it was my mistake. Now I'm imagining it.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-03 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-03 Pub. Date: 2019-04-03
Image Number: 177044
Caption: I saw your article where you looked at all the counties that held Trump rallies in 2016. Then you looked at hate crimes in those counties and compared them to similar counties that not host a Trump rally. You found that counties that hosted a rally saw a 226 percent increase in reported hate crimes over those that didn't host a rally. You are so divisive. I'm the divisiveness one? Yeah, it's one of those "if a tree falls in the woods and no one reports on it, did it really fall?" things.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-25 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-25 Pub. Date: 2018-12-25
Image Number: 175585
Caption: My little boy was so happy when he woke up and saw all those gift-wrapped boxes with his name on them under the tree. Totally unrelated topic: Did you know that a lot of well-known concepts are lies? Like an apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's a lie ... and that thing about little kids not even caring if there's a toy ... and just being happy to play with empty boxes. That's a lie too. Dios mio, Lemont.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-23 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-23 Pub. Date: 2018-12-23
Image Number: 175261
Caption: Online shopping has ruined everything. The mall just laid me off to cut costs. Really? It's going to ruin Christmas. I was the mall Santa. Now where are the tiny kids and babies going to go to sit on a stranger's lap and tell him what they want under their tree? Where are they going to go to hear a man who'll say ho ho ho? Who'll pat them on the head? Who'll tell them to stop begging for handouts? Who'll tell them to stop crying, get a job, and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps? You sure they laid you off because of online shopping? Who's going to give them a copy of The Art of the Deal and send them on their way?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-16 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-16 Pub. Date: 2018-12-16
Image Number: 175188
Caption: That's the last time I even think of googling climate change.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-28 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-28 Pub. Date: 2018-10-28
Image Number: 174529
Caption: I hope we never terraform Mars. House of Java Café. Grand Opening. Why not, Randy? Because, if we gave Mars oxygen and air pressure, we wouldn't need space suits. If we gave Mars trees and oceans, it wouldn't be one big desert anymore. There's just something sexy about driving a dune buggy across a desert planet with only half an inch of space helmet separating you from certain death. Also, if we give it a magnetic field, we wouldn't be bombarded by radiation. Ok ... I'll bite ... what's bad about not being bombarded by radiation? Isn't it obvious? When you look at me, little buddy, you're looking at the pinnacle of human evolution. But my line has taken us as far as possible. I come from a long line of Randies. I've traced my lineage all the way back to a romantic primate named Randy Erectus. He was the first hominid to get up off his knuckles and stand up straight, and that as just in response to a beautiful sunset. Imagine what my genes would do in response to a huge dose of radiation? You really should have your own science show.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-09 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-09 Pub. Date: 2018-10-09
Image Number: 174388
Caption: Did you hear the Ask Sadie show today? They were talking about breakups. Specifically, how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. I find the best way to protect her feelings is to just disappear. Then she ain't cry at you or nothin'. Just 'cause you're not there to see her cry doesn't mean she's not crying, Clyde. Yeh it do, bruh. It one of them tree fallin in the forest things.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-31 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164416
Caption: Someday we'll develop a telescope powerful enough to see other worlds. That's setting ourselves up for heartache. You know what I mean? No. But I bet you'll geeksplain it to me. Imagine we fall in love with a cute alien panda-bunny we see bouncing through trees on a planet that's 500 light years away. That means we're seeing what it did 500 years ago, That means it's dead now. See? You did it. You owe me $2. That's not how bets work. I bet it is.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-23 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-23 Pub. Date: 2016-12-23
Image Number: 152373
Caption: I realized Christmas was a bunch of nonsense when we was kids, Big L. You know why? 'Cause of all the snow. Reindeer in the snow. Pine trees in the snow. Fat Santa in the snow. But Jesus was from the Middle East, dawg. The Middle East where it's hot. That's why I decorate my tree with hummus. There wasn't nary a snowflake in the bible, bruh.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-25 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-25 Pub. Date: 2015-11-25
Image Number: 135624
Caption: Did you hear the "Ask Sadie" show today? They were talking about breakups. Specifically, how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. I find the best way to protect her feelings is to just disappear. Then she ain't cry at you or nothin'. Just 'cause you're not there to see her cry doesn't mean she's not crying, Clyde. Yeh it do, bruh. It one of them "tree fallin' in the forest" things.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-19 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-19 Pub. Date: 2014-09-19
Image Number: 116482
Caption: What ever happened to Cuba Gooding Jr? What do you mean, Susan? His career's just over. It's like he went into the witness protection program or something. What are you talking about? He's been in about three movies a year for at least a decade. Nothing I've seen. If a tree falls in Hollywood but Susan Garcia doesn't hear it, it still makes a sound.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-16 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-16 Pub. Date: 2014-07-16
Image Number: 113734
Caption: I'm gonna take Lionel hiking next week. Wanna come with us, Clyde? Whachoomean, "hiking"? You mean with trees an' rocks and streams an' no electricity an' @%$#? Whachoothink this is, "The Sound Of Music"? You 'spect me to frolic through the daffodils and yodel camp songs? Nature corny, bruh. (Sigh) ...
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-13 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-13 Pub. Date: 2014-02-13
Image Number: 107416
Caption: There are times when it's like you can see the future, Clyde. Like if a drunk friend offers you a ride, you can see yourself crashing into a tree and dying in a raging inferno. What's this have to do with me runnin' for Congress, Big L? I prefer you being 314,159,265th in the line of succession. I don't even know what that mean.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-23 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-23 Pub. Date: 2013-12-23
Image Number: 105427
Caption: Merry Christmas, Tyrone. How dare you! Everyone knows Jesus wasn't born in December. Everyone knows the roman pagans celebrated SATURNALIA every December 17-23, and "Christmas" was the church's attempt to win those pagans over to Christianity by promising them they could still PARTY every December. You, sir, are engaged in a WAR ON SATURNALIA! I want to get a Christmas tree. That's just a ripoff of the SATURNALIA HEAD-ON-A-PIKE!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-11 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-11 Pub. Date: 2013-11-11
Image Number: 103798
Caption: John 1:48-50 … Nathaniel said to him, "How do you know me?" Jesus answered him … "Before Philip called you, I saw you standing under a fig tree." Nathaniel said, "Rabbi, you are the son of God! You are the king of Israel!" Jesus replied: "Because I said I saw you standing under a fig tree ... ?" You're the only man I know who reads the bible for jokes. (This cartoon originally published on 11/4/2011).
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-12 tree 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-12 Pub. Date: 2012-03-12
Image Number: 77312
Caption: Whath that? A tree. A twee? Yes. Whath that? A car. A caw? Yes. Whath that? A PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!! Pudda panth back on? Western civilization is going straight to HELL … o … kitty. Wethtun what?
     
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