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Candorville

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Result page:     (9 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-28 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-28 Pub. Date: 2018-10-28
Image Number: 174529
Caption: I hope we never terraform Mars. House of Java Café. Grand Opening. Why not, Randy? Because, if we gave Mars oxygen and air pressure, we wouldn't need space suits. If we gave Mars trees and oceans, it wouldn't be one big desert anymore. There's just something sexy about driving a dune buggy across a desert planet with only half an inch of space helmet separating you from certain death. Also, if we give it a magnetic field, we wouldn't be bombarded by radiation. Ok ... I'll bite ... what's bad about not being bombarded by radiation? Isn't it obvious? When you look at me, little buddy, you're looking at the pinnacle of human evolution. But my line has taken us as far as possible. I come from a long line of Randies. I've traced my lineage all the way back to a romantic primate named Randy Erectus. He was the first hominid to get up off his knuckles and stand up straight, and that as just in response to a beautiful sunset. Imagine what my genes would do in response to a huge dose of radiation? You really should have your own science show.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-17 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-17 Pub. Date: 2018-10-17
Image Number: 174493
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? House of Java Café. Grand Opening! That's right, minion. My sources tell me a journalist has been looking into your new café's financing. My café? What do you mean? This is your café. Well, it is now, after you sold it to me for $1. but before that, you bought this building using money funneled to you through a shell company traced back to a Russian oligarch ... That's what the paper trail will show, anyway. How could you? Should've known he would never have given me that dollar without strings attached.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-09 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117065
Caption: What makes us think we're the first civilization on Earth? You got five seconds, Big L. Five seconds for what? To make it clear what this conversation has to do with C-Dog. Before we got here, there 4 … were billions of years of plate tectonics that 3 ... would've melted or buried any trace of older civilization 2 ... beneath tons of rock. 1 ... NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU!!! Time's up.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-27 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-27 Pub. Date: 2010-12-27
Image Number: 55682
Caption: Your honor, I'd like to ask for a continuance. For what reason? There's a "Doctor Who" Marathon on SYFY, so now's my chance to find out if the doctor fixed the crack in the universe. It was swallowing up the whole space-time continuum. Also, I need a new lawyer, 'cause mine vanished without a trace. Mr. Brown ... you probably should've led with the bigger reason. What could be bigger than the universe's crack?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-09 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-09 Pub. Date: 2010-11-09
Image Number: 53957
Caption: What's causing my depression? Well, for one, my evil ex-fiancee, who I'm suing for custody. Let's explore exactly how she's mean to you. … and my deadbeat lawyer who's disappeared without a trace just when I need him. Let's explore how he ABANDONED you. ... And my boss won't give me a raise. I'm broke and Roxanne's got old money ... how can I compete with that in court? Let's explore your boss' heartless decision. ... And you had me committed to a sanitarium, so now the judge'll think I'm nuts. It doesn't help to point fingers.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-02 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-02 Pub. Date: 2010-03-02
Image Number: 44611
Caption: I've sent three process servers - three good friends - to deliver a subpoena to Roxanne. They all disappeared without a trace. "If it turns out she's gruesomely murdered your friends, could we use that against her in court? "I hope your friends are ok." I hope your friends are ok. Thank you. That said ...
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-01 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-01 Pub. Date: 2010-03-01
Image Number: 44610
Caption: Explain why you haven't subpoenaed Roxanne yet. I want custody of my son! The Law Guy. Well, there was the storm. And then the court was closed for the holiday. Made it hard to get the subpoena. Then there're the three process servers who disappeared without a trace trying to deliver it. ... See, I'd have led with that last one.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-24 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-24 Pub. Date: 2009-06-24
Image Number: 35436
Caption: At the Ad Agency, Susan helps an executive from Fear, Inc., launch a campaign to scare people away from universal healthcare. You wanted a new idea, Mr. Bunker … "Harry and Louise" aren't new, and the ones you knew from '94 disappeared without a trace. Wrong, little goil. Hurry up, meathead! 1994 Version of Harry and Louise. Dios mio. Break out the cam'ras, we got a commercial to film. Dear God, what's that putrid smell?!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-06 trace 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-06 Pub. Date: 2006-01-06
Image Number: 12671
Caption: What are you doing, Lemont? What's it look like I'm doing, Susan? See my hairline? I'm tracing it on my forehead with a permanent marker so I'll be able to tell if it's receding. Dios mio. What's that mean, anyway?
     
Result page:     (9 images)