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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about toddlers.

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-13 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-13 Pub. Date: 2019-10-13
Image Number: 179803
Caption: The other day, my little girl insisted that our dog was a horse. Dr. Noodle. So I took her to a ranch and showed her a real horse. She said This is a horsey? Then … our doggie is a doggie. That evening, we had dinner with my dad. He said The President has never lied. That shocked me. So I pulled up the Washington Post's list of over 12,000 lies the President's told. He dismissed it all as fake news, called reporters Enemies of the people, and said Jeff Bezos and everyone who buys from Amazon are of questionable citizenship. I still don't think it's wide of you to refuse to talk to anyone older than three from now on. Do you happen to know any toddlers with a psychiatric degree.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-29 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-29 Pub. Date: 2019-08-29
Image Number: 179194
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-02 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-02 Pub. Date: 2019-07-02
Image Number: 178391
Caption: Remember how the whole country spent the last couple weeks debating whether the centers where we stick migrants are technically concentration camps? Of course. Why? Why? … Because that's not normal. When you find yourself saying the way we torture toddlers and infants isn't as bad as the way Nazis tortured them ... I think you've got a problem.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-26 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177771
Caption: One of my readers asked me Why do I sense such anger in you? What'd you say? I said That's probably because I'm not a sociopath. I said When people die because they can't afford health insurance, I care. When we tell kids they're nothing without college and then saddle them with loans they can never repay ... I care. When people figure out all sorts of ways to keep black people from voting, I care ... When poor people are being lied to about whether their water is safe to drink, I care. When our President separates toddlers and babies from their asylum-seeking mothers for months, I care. And because I care, I'm angered. I bet being a sociopath is relaxing. I'll relax when there's not more police brutality. Shut up, I'm trying to relax.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-28 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-28 Pub. Date: 2018-08-28
Image Number: 173789
Caption: Armed guards were everywhere. I couldn't take a chance. So I hid and interviewed the Central American toddler refugee from there. What's your name? Nuq oh Pongllj'e? Where are you from? NuqDaq DaDab? So what did the little boy say? Nothing. I'd accidentally set my translate app to Klingon.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-27 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173788
Caption: Now that the airduct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a toddler in one of Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. He was sobbing. He was hysterical. He was calling out for his mother. He was just around the corner ... But so were the armed guards. By the time I got the glue, the fake beard and the janitor disguise, the child's cries had stopped. Wait ... back up. I almost blew my cover when I lost control of the spinny-mop thing and it dragged me down the hall.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-23 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-23 Pub. Date: 2018-06-23
Image Number: 172359
Caption: I'm an accomplished writer, Susan. I don't tiptoe around the big issues. I've won awards for that. How could they reject me? You wrote "I love you so much that when you were a toddler and you choked on your own vomit … I dug it out of your mouth with my own hand without even thinking about it ... Happy birthday. That's real love. You'd think Hallmark would know that the country's in the mood for authenticity.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-18 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167358
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason. (Originally published on 2015-12-31)
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-27 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146472
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly though Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-21 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-21 Pub. Date: 2016-06-21
Image Number: 144898
Caption: My son slept all night long, Clyde. First time ever. Usually I can't get any uninterrupted sleep because he's always getting up. But last night, he didn't even make a sound … So I ended up staying up all night to make sure he wasn't dead.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-24 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-24 Pub. Date: 2016-03-24
Image Number: 140811
Caption: Last night, I couldn't wait till my toddler went to sleep so I could relax and watch tv in peace. But once he fell asleep, I missed him so much that I watched his favorite shows till I fell asleep too. I could've watched "Game of Thrones" or a racy movie ... but I watched "Thomas the Train." ... for three hours, Susan. What's wrong with me? Reason #485 why I will never have kids. "Thomas the Train" is actually a pretty subversive show, when you think about it.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-31 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137116
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-16 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-16 Pub. Date: 2015-08-16
Image Number: 130321
Caption: It all started when my son sat up for the first time. All of a sudden, he didn't need me to prop him up on the couch. And then when he was seven months old, he started crawling. Suddenly he didn't need me to carry him where he wanted to go. Then when he learned to talk at 16 months old, he didn't need me to figure out what would make him happy. He'd tell me. Then when he went to day care at 22 months, he didn't look to me for all his answers. Now he had other grownups to ask. It's like every single day, I become less and less important. Only if you're doing your job right. I was hoping to hold off on the potty training till he was 144 months.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-02 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-02 Pub. Date: 2015-06-02
Image Number: 127776
Caption: I've gotta do something about my son. He won't go to sleep till about 4 A.M. It's driving me crazy. "The Dude Abuses." You want me to take care of this? There are ways, bruh. You don’t even wanna know about it. I can have that little dude sleepin' by 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I think I'll just let him grow out of it. I'll abduct his teddy bear, you write the note. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-21).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-31 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-31 Pub. Date: 2014-10-31
Image Number: 118205
Caption: Why won't you tell Susan the real reason you ain't want her at that comic convention. You know she gonna dress up like Wonder Woman, and you don’t want no other bruthas starin' at her or tryin' to grope her. You got a White Knight Complex, Big L. You'd feel the need to stare down any man you thought was disrespecting her. But you also fight like a toddler, so you know you'd get pantsed right in front of her. You don't know anything.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-07 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115372
Caption: I taught Lionel how to call 911. WHAT?! What that little two-year-old boy ever done to you, Big L? Huh? Cops be outta control, bruh. If there a emergency an' he call 911, there a 50/50 chance the police'll help … an' a 50/50 chance they gonna knock down the door without a warrant, toss in a flashbang grenade, an' pepper spray your toddler before draggin' his dad out in the hallway half naked. What is you thinkin' Big L? He's be better off if you teach him to call Domino's. Well, they would probably get there faster.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-02 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-02 Pub. Date: 2014-07-02
Image Number: 113185
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on Earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly thought Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-23 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-23 Pub. Date: 2014-04-23
Image Number: 110445
Caption: Where you goin', Big L? I was only kidding. That's not "kidding." "Kidding" is saying "there's something on your face" when there really isn't. "Kidding" is NOT saying "I didn’t realize you left your toddler with me. I haven't seen him all day." Do erebody lose they sense of humor when they become parents? You're dead to me, Clyde.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-21 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-21 Pub. Date: 2013-05-21
Image Number: 97121
Caption: I've gotta do something about my son. He won't go to sleep till about 4 A.M. It's driving me crazy. "The Dude Abuses." You want me to take care of this? There are ways, bruh. You don’t even wanna know about it. I can have that little dude sleepin' by 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I think I'll just let him grow out of it. I'll abduct his teddy bear, you write the note.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-17 toddler 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-17 Pub. Date: 2012-03-17
Image Number: 77317
Caption: Lionel said @*$% last night. What? He's two! Where'd he learn to say that? I don’t know. I've taken all the usual precautions … I blocked every channel but PBS, forced all the other toddlers in daycare to sign contracts promising not to cuss, and I hid my entire rap collection. Wait ... Back up ... What ... You think I should block PBS too?
     
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