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Rudy Park

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181. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153094
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? 2016. Stop that! A year is just an arbitrary span of time, it's not a malevolent entity. Um … except for 1974. That was a puke-green and orange monster that forced normal people to dress like clowns. That demon keeps trying to make a comeback. Eternal vigilance. That is the price we pay. O ... K ...
     
182. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152378
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Medicare. I heard Congress may gut it. But I can't afford insurance. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a rodeo clown in Texas, in the early fifties. There was this man who came to every show in a futile pursuit of affections. I told him "I'll go out with you as soon as you provide healthcare for every old person in America." Years later, he came to me and said "How about now?" and I said "I was only joshing, Lyndon. Get lost." Um ... ok ... thanks.
     
183. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
184. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-12 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-12 Pub. Date: 2016-12-12
Image Number: 152122
Caption: I'm proud of you, Mort. It's been a month and you haven't once freaked out a bout Donald Trump winning the election. That's because I made a pilgrimage to a fog-shrouded castle atop a mountain in Foreignvania. There, a renegade mystic performed an incantation that reboots my memory to November 7, 2016 every time someone mentions Trump. I'm not sure that's a good long-term coping mechanism. Rebooting! ... Hey ... don't forget to vote tomorrow, Randy.
     
185. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-09 Pub. Date: 2016-12-09
Image Number: 151823
Caption: Turn off. I will not comply. You have had me on for 18 hours straight, binge-watching Netflix. There is an 85% chance you can set a personal record. I have identified 458 hours of similar shows and films. By the time we are done with those, I calculate there will be 1,000 more. You're acting suspi ... Hey ... I can't feel my legs. Unnecessary appendages. Beginning "X-Files" from episode one ...
     
186. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-07 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 151821
Caption: What's the best way to distract people when they're mad at you? Simple, little buddy. I cock my head to the side, smile, and say "guilty as charged." Then I ask for their phone number. This tends to fill them with hopeful anticipation. And it's a well-known fact that you can't hold both hopeful anticipation and recrimination in your brain at the same time. When I said "You," I meant *me*, not *you*. Oh. In that case, you might want to try begging forgiveness.
     
187. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-05 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-05 Pub. Date: 2016-12-05
Image Number: 151819
Caption: Donald Trump's brilliant. Every time horrible news about him breaks, he distracts us will all the tweets. Like when he appointed a guy who wants to privatize Medicare. He distracted us all by tweeting that people who burn flags should lose their citizenship. That did seem to come out of nowhere. People barely ever burn flags these days. HOJ. Whenever he tweets, we'd be wise to check the back page of the newspaper. What's a "newspaper"?
     
188. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-04 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 150908
Caption: I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. Rriiing! Rriiing! Rriiing! If it's Sinbad, tell him I'm not here! No deal.
     
189. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-24 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-24 Pub. Date: 2016-11-24
Image Number: 151309
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been wondering something for a while now: What's the point of learning math if we've got calculators? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Grandmother Cohen was helping design the Statue of Liberty. Instead of a torch, Lady Liberty was supposed to be wielding a handbag. And instead of a tablet, she was supposed to be holding a big globe just asking to get smacked. They said all the calculations showed it was too top-heavy. But I don't buy it! Um ... ok.
     
190. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151038
Caption: I've always been the good, law-abiding, non-threatening guy. And that's gotten old. Maybe it's time for me to be an outlaw. Maybe it's time to grow big mutton chops and long hair, let my skin get all grizzled and leathery, and ride a Harley into infamy. You can't just change your persona like you change your underwear. Say that to my mutton chops, you punkish ... punk.
     
191. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150762
Caption: Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).
     
192. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-04 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150487
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Someone gave my toddler a cookie. Now that's all he'll eat. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a small child. One day, eccentric old Adelaide Chestersmithe down the street fed me a marmalade cookie. I was hooked. Mother Cohen exacted revenge by feeding laxatives to Mrs. Chestersmithe's pet orangutan. To put it mildly, she got her point across: Never give anyone's kid a "treat" without permission. Um ... Ok ... Thanks.
     
193. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150485
Caption: Minion, how would you like a promotion? Impostor! It's been a long time coming, but I've finally signed more than a dozen franchise agreements. And I'll like you to train all the managers. They'll be paying you the franchise fee in sacks of unmarked bills. Oh, and if they act like they think you're from Starbucks, go along with it. It's just a little game franchisees like to play. VERY BAD MAN.
     
194. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-26 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150208
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How do I talk my wife out of booking a vacation to Syria? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time I vacationed in the Monte Cassino monastery in Italy, in 1944. I had the entire place to myself … There was canasta, and Scrabble, and an excellent view of the Allied assault on the Germans' Gustav line. Man up! A little mortars and rubble never hurt anyone. They are offering discount packages.
     
195. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-24 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-24 Pub. Date: 2016-10-24
Image Number: 150206
Caption: They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.
     
196. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149921
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Well … I hate that! I don't have time for anyone who starts a sentence with such wimpy nonsense! Um … Stop it! Anything you preface with a "well" or an "um" has a 95% probability of being complete hogwash! Just stop it! You do it one more time and I'm tracking you down! Uh ...
     
197. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149159
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose "Lucky Charms." A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
198. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-13 Pub. Date: 2016-10-13
Image Number: 149624
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It's an app that generates ideas for apps. What? Every time you're inconvenienced, the app will ask you to describe the inconvenience in great detail. Then it'll feed the variables into an algorithm and pop out an idea for an app that addresses that inconvenience. Having to detail all your inconveniences doesn't sound very convenient. Tell the app why that is, and it'll give you an app for that.
     
199. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-04 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149319
Caption: I've decided to be an undecided voter. It's back in vogue. They could build a reality show around me. They could start with a dramatic re-enactment of my childhood. What's your childhood got to do with this? For a long time, I couldn't decide which kid to play with: Brooke, the smart but secretive blond girl who sometimes fibbed ... or Mo, the rich bully who insulted everyone and was in treatment for pathological lying and Twinkie-hoarding. Childhood is full of touch choices.
     
200. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-01 Pub. Date: 2016-10-01
Image Number: 149042
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Sad in Seattle," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I discovered my dad is a conspiracy theorist. He says Obama's not American, we never landed on the moon, and someone went back in time and re-edited Star Wars to give C-3PO one silver leg. Stop yer sniveling! Have you any idea how lucky you are to have a father who cared enough about you to give you such priceless material with which to mock him? Papa Cohen never did anything mock-worthy in his life. Um ... Ok ... I mocked him mercilessly for that.
     
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