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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-25 Pub. Date: 2018-05-25
Image Number: 171810
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-Bert … He's tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... Who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-23 Pub. Date: 2018-05-23
Image Number: 171808
Caption: Boss, when's the last time you took a vacation? 1984. March 3rd, to be exact. A Saturday. Instead of staying in to perfect my 25-year plan … I took four hours off to go to Chuck E. Cheese's with my fellow annoying prepubescent's. Something tells me you were wearing a tie. I thought being seen as a man of the people would help me franchise my lemonade stands.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-21 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-21 Pub. Date: 2018-05-21
Image Number: 171806
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say feed me, walk me, I need to potty, or leave me alone, or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout I'm running! when the dog is running.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-11 Pub. Date: 2018-05-11
Image Number: 171299
Caption: Boss, I got your memo. Why can't I talk about the ancient pyramids with the patrons? You misread that, minion. I want you to talk about the pyramids even more. Throw in the Sphinx, while you're at it. I've noticed a 4.35 spike in sales of cold drinks every time you bring up desert-based topics. You're taking all the fun out of human interaction. From now on, you're to carry around a small cactus at all times.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171059
Caption: Darn. Ten whole pages of results, Sadie. What's yer pie hole yammering about now. Tap tap tap tap tap. I just googled what to do with my free time, and I got ten pages of results. What do you mean free time? Didn't I hear your boss tell you to go sweep up in the alley, you wretched slacker? He didn't say when. Google how should Sadie celebrate when doofus-boy gets fired?
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-17 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-17 Pub. Date: 2018-04-17
Image Number: 170593
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? Shoot. Let's say person A developed a crush on person B, who happens to be less productive. Let's say person A then conducted a study that concluded there's a 78.9% chance that such a crush leads to dating, then to cohabitation, and finally to person B becoming a a drain on person A's resources. Hypothetically, what's the best way to get person B to compensate person A for the time I ... he ... spent conducting the study? Very bad man.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170592
Caption: Sadie, I can't stop checking my phone. Every alert is starting to feel historic. For the first time, I'm not sure whether our system of government is going to survive. What will they uncover about the president? What will the president do in return? If he falls, what will his followers do? Is this how it felt when you kept checking the cave paintings for news of the latest mastodon hunt? Sadie smash.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-14 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-14 Pub. Date: 2018-04-14
Image Number: 170361
Caption: Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of. That's scheduled for March 2019 - February 2020. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word dumb ... tough, but not impossible.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170360
Caption: Why do people say they're lying through their teeth? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170358
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-07 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170209
Caption: How was your date last night, little buddy? I'm not sure. We were having a great time, laughing, joking … when out of nowhere she said that's rude. That's what I asked. She answered you're acting all annoyed all of a sudden. I said Why? She said … You sighed. Please tell me your response was simply I didn't mean anything by it. I helpfully informed her that a sigh is a reflexive bodily function we do subconsciously several times an hour to reinflate the alveoli in our lungs to allow for the transport of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Sigh.
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-06 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-06 Pub. Date: 2018-04-06
Image Number: 170208
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um ... thanks?
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-05 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170207
Caption: Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-26 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169897
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
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