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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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361. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-02 Pub. Date: 2014-04-02
Image Number: 109631
Caption: You've been around for a very, very long time. Maybe you can answer this … what's the best way for a man to attract a woman so he can pass on his genes to the next generation? You just keep being you, dearie, and any woman in her right mind will pass on your genes. Awesome. Would you like another soup? No thanks, I'll pass on that. Munch mun-
     
362. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-30 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-30 Pub. Date: 2014-03-30
Image Number: 108953
Caption: I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café has wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a person electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ration of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electrical outlet panels and they're all taken. I couldn't plug in Heisenberg. You owe Heisenberg and me $9.75 for wasting a trip down here. There's an outlet in the john.
     
363. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-10 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-10 Pub. Date: 2014-03-10
Image Number: 108582
Caption: When I was a teenager, "Saturday Night live" had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman … That was the only time SNL was actually funny. Blasphemy! It was only funny when I was a teenager. Aykroyd, Murray, Belushi … It's always been lame. But I suspect in 5-10 years, it'll be funny. Blasphemy.
     
364. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-08 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-08 Pub. Date: 2014-03-08
Image Number: 108287
Caption: I'm inviting you all to taste test a new, cheaper blend of coffee. Not a chance. No way. Not even if it was squeezed from the bean by the flexed biceps of Eli Manning. I'm telling you, that dysentery last time was just a coincidence. FORGET IT!
     
365. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-25 Pub. Date: 2014-02-25
Image Number: 108050
Caption: Hey, Randy. It's Rudy. I'm on a date … Hey, you're not driving are you? I'm not the guy you can call to keep you awake while you're driving. Just pull over. No I'm good. I can make it. Just tell me a story or a joke of some … zzZzz. Once upon a time, Randy hung up on you.
     
366. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-18 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-18 Pub. Date: 2014-02-18
Image Number: 107782
Caption: Were you really supposed to be in the 1980 Olympics, Sadie? I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! But you're the one who brought it up. That was just to remind you there are aspects of my life that you don’t have clearance to know. Sorry … "clearance" is jargon from my time in THE SERVICE. Service? Which service? I don't want to talk about it.
     
367. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-16 Pub. Date: 2014-02-16
Image Number: 107837
Caption: I saw you look at that hussy. COUGH! I don’t know what you're talking about, snookums. OK, I ADMIT IT! I GLANCED FOR A SPLIT SECOND!!! BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'm a man! I have needs! I have hormones racing though my body, giving me urges I can barely contain! I may seem meek on the outside, but on the inside lurks a depraved beast. Run, Sadie ... run while you still can. Works every time.
     
368. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-07 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-07 Pub. Date: 2014-02-07
Image Number: 107188
Caption: You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other time, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
     
369. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-02 Pub. Date: 2014-02-02
Image Number: 107240
Caption: I've decided it's time for me to start dating again. Again? I've known you for twelve years, and I've never seen you date. I've been focused on work to the exclusion of all else. I have no hobbies, no friends, no interests at all that are unrelated to my business. Lately, that's started to take a toll on me, Rudy. I've become sullen. Depressed. Lonely. Bitter. Morose. My customers have begun to notice, and I worry my bad mood will drive them away. So ... you want to focus less on business because being all business is bad for business. Also, true love is eventually tax deductible.
     
370. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-31 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-31 Pub. Date: 2014-01-31
Image Number: 106960
Caption: This morning daddy said he had been planning to take me to Disneyland, but because I downloaded movies illegally, now he's calling it off. That's why I'm sad. Is that all? Listen, kid, parents lie like that all the time. He was never gonna take you to Disneyland, he just wants you to feel guilty. So don't worry about it. You mean ... my ... my daddy is a ... a fibber? Consoling a kid is like tiptoeing through mousetraps. Waaaaa!!
     
371. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-25 Pub. Date: 2014-01-25
Image Number: 106955
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penalty for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time? - Andy, Los Angeles. Actual reader question. Excellent question. Unfortunately, answering that question would lead to a stock market collapse ... Which would be just the sign of weakness that the Dutch have been looking for. I'll answer you if you really want to wake up to the sound of 500,000 clogs bearing down on you. Ask Sadie questions at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
372. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-02 Pub. Date: 2014-01-02
Image Number: 106932
Caption: What's this, Sadie? Your funeral program. Y'know … for whenever. What are you saying? Nothing. Say, did you know I've been around for a long time? By the time you've buried dozens of friends, you know which signs to look for. Not … falling … for it … I notice your agitated ... Interesting.
     
373. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-14 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-14 Pub. Date: 2013-12-14
Image Number: 106914
Caption: What would you like? I'd like a new pickup truck. I'd like them to remake Star Wars prequels and do it right this time. I'd like Prince to get back together with "The Revolution." I mean, what can I get you? A mocha. And remove my skin tags.
     
374. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-13 Pub. Date: 2013-12-13
Image Number: 106913
Caption: Attention, everyone! What're you doing, boss? As we all know, times have changed and it's no longer acceptable to discriminate against employees on the basis of their being gay. As my employee here can attest, I've never discriminated against him because he's gay. But I'm not gay ... So when you buy our coffee, you're supporting an enlightened business. Very bad man.
     
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