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Rudy Park

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341. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-18 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-18 Pub. Date: 2014-09-18
Image Number: 116551
Caption: You ever watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta"? I'll answer you this way, little buddy: when you're excelling in every area of your life, from work to romance to personal development, you have very little time to watch Porsha and Kenya slap-fighting each other. You know their names? You must've mentioned them.
     
342. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-17 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-17 Pub. Date: 2014-09-17
Image Number: 116550
Caption: Last night some people brought a screaming baby to the movie theater. My date spent the whole time complaining about that. I saw the guy in front of us texting someone to complain about how my date wouldn’t stop talking during the film. Then someone complained to the usher about the guy texting. Most perfect hat-trick of grousing I've ever seen. I wonder what that baby was complaining about.
     
343. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-15 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-15 Pub. Date: 2014-09-15
Image Number: 116548
Caption: Boss, why'd you post a sign out front that reads "Please Do Not Bring Your Guns Into This Establishment"? I've worked at this café for 13 years, and I don’t remember anyone ever bringing a gun. So why post the sign? The media's been calling all day asking what's going on. I'll have to dock your pay for the time you waste answering your own questions. Very bad man.
     
344. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-13 Pub. Date: 2014-09-13
Image Number: 116263
Caption: All the police brutality in the news makes it seem like it's happening more. It's not? Of course not. We've had police brutality ever since we first had police. You youngsters don’t know what police brutality is. Everything you've seen on your TV is what's done by police who know they're probably being recorded. When I was your age, there were no cellphone cameras or dashboard cams. Imagine what cops did before cameras existed! Anything that happened before I was born is meaningless to me.
     
345. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-01 Pub. Date: 2014-09-01
Image Number: 115992
Caption: What're you doing?! Your contract forbids you from watching "cute baby videos" on YouTube. Cute baby videos lead to employees wanting to have cute babies of their own. Having babies leads to employees asking for raises and time off. I don’t think everything in a contract is enforceable, boss. "Thinking" is forbidden by your contract.
     
346. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-27 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-27 Pub. Date: 2014-08-27
Image Number: 115611
Caption: I want to develop a routine. It'll make me more interesting. How so? A person who regularly does the same things at the same time is boring. Either that, or he's establishing an alibi to cover for nefarious deeds he's controlling from a distance using apps on a disposable smart phone. I bet you're wondering what my other hand's doing under this table right now. Never say that sentence again in life.
     
347. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-13 Pub. Date: 2014-08-13
Image Number: 114989
Caption: Randy, you're older than I am. Have you thought of maybe settling down and having kids? Because if you do, that means I'm next in line. So the longer you put it off, the more time I've got. I don’t think I'm done sowing my wild oats. More like "domesticated oatmeal" in your case. Hey, I'm thinking of thinking of asking someone out.
     
348. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
349. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-08 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-08 Pub. Date: 2014-08-08
Image Number: 114702
Caption: What're you watching on your me-phone? "Batman v Superman" bootleg. That reminds me of the time Adam West caught me and George Reeves smooching in the woods. Adam and I had been over for weeks, but he was still insanely jealous. Adam who and George what? They should outlaw anyone under 40. Anyone seen any woods around here?
     
350. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-29 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-29 Pub. Date: 2014-07-29
Image Number: 114433
Caption: Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a NINJA sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.
     
351. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-27 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 113519
Caption: Have I heard of what? "The curse of the redshirts." You know how every time Captain Kirk would beam down a landing party, the character wearing a red shirt would get killed in some gruesome way? Well, back in nineteen and sixty-eight, I auditioned to be the red shirt who gets killed by a plant. Mal Friedman stole that role from me! A luck would have it, Gene Roddenberry like the cut of my jib and wrote me into every episode anyway. I was the purple-shirted extra who was always felled by workplace repetitive stress injuries. They always cut my scenes on account of overacting. Only think I remember from that show is shatter's glistening chesticles. The purple shirt always ended up on the cutting-room floor.
     
352. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-22 Pub. Date: 2014-07-22
Image Number: 114172
Caption: I need to take some bereavement time off. "Bereavement time"? Let me check … No, there's no such thing as "bereavement time" in your contract, Rudy. I'd love to give you time off to grieve but if I start allowing things that aren't in your contract, before we know it you'll be marrying your car. What car? I don't own a car. I believe my point still stands.
     
353. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-16 Pub. Date: 2014-07-16
Image Number: 113803
Caption: Billions of years ago, Earth had only one huge supercontinent, it was called "Pangea." Pangea was a hellish place. Right now our oceans and seas moderate the climate on all our relatively small land masses. But on Pangea, the inland continents became vast deserts, wrecking Earth's atmosphere. How do you know all this, little buddy? Sadie was there. She told me. I HEARD THAT! I'LL PANGEA YOU!
     
354. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-09 Pub. Date: 2014-07-09
Image Number: 113515
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, You are amazingly funny. What is your secret? -Alexandria. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Losers. Pardon? Every time I see a whiny, pathetic, technology-addicted jerk, my only possible release is to make a joke at their expense. You hear this one? A Rudy walks into a bar with a bird on his head ... NOT FUNNY!
     
355. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-22 Pub. Date: 2014-06-22
Image Number: 112161
Caption: EUREKA! Hide your loved ones and your wallet. You know how most Americans are overweight? And you know how studies show that by 2020, 75% of Americans will be overweight? And you know how other studies show that diet drinks may make it worse … … because they disrupt the brain's sweet sensors, causing people to snack more? That means, if you drink a sugar-rich drink, you'll actually SNACK LESS. That means we can rename all our sugar-rich drinks "diet" drinks. This is like the time you had me sell water as a "diet drink."
     
356. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-06 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-06 Pub. Date: 2014-06-06
Image Number: 112159
Caption: What do you have against Edward Snowden? He's a hero for that thing he did that time. I just feel responsible. You know I work at the TSA, right? Well, months ago my gate may have been left unattended for about 35 minutes, while this girl an … um - while I - was in the broom closet. That's when Snowden walked right through with a big briefcase marked "Top Secret." You're right, I shouldn't blame myself. I didn't say anything.
     
357. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-22 Pub. Date: 2014-05-22
Image Number: 111625
Caption: When I was in jail, I passed the time by writing my autobiography. I took certain liberties with some of the characters. For instance, you appear in the later chapters … … but instead of being a typical modern loser who lets his gadgets do his thinking for him, you're an escaped zoo baboon who keeps poking himself in they eye with a stick. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU A MORE INDUSTRIOUS CHARACTER! I'll wait for the movie.
     
358. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-20 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-20 Pub. Date: 2014-05-20
Image Number: 111623
Caption: It’s not every day you turn on the TV and see your nemesis being chased by the cops on the freeway. Old Sadie sire knows how to handle a Rascal Scooter. I still don’t know how she avoided those spike strips. You know what it’s made me think, Randy? HOJ. It has? Wow. When's the last time something did that? (Sorry, when Sadie's in jail, someone has to be Sadie.)
     
359. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-21 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-21 Pub. Date: 2014-04-21
Image Number: 110511
Caption: I agree with you, Sadie. It's a total waste. What is? Facebook. It just sucks up your time, with the chatting and the updates and the Scrabble playing. Scrabble? People play on Facebook or their iPhones or casual game sites. Total waste. I love Scrabble! Hook baited. Internal conflict!
     
360. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109296
Caption: Did you see "Cosmos"? No. It was mind-blowing. Didn't it make you feel small to see how huge the cosmos is? Nah. The opposite. It mad me realize that in all the vast reaches of space, with all the trillions of planets capable of supporting life … … and at all points in the past and in the future, there is, has been, and ever will be ... ... Only one me. How can you feel small when you realize something like that? I hadn't teared up like that since the last time I gazed longingly at myself in the mirror. Too much information.
     
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