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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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261. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-02 Pub. Date: 2015-12-02
Image Number: 135994
Caption: Boss, I need to take a personal day. Why? It's personal. That's why they call it a "personal day." It's almost as if you're under the impression that words and meaning are somehow related. They're not? Of course not. For instance … "Sure, take a personal day" actually means "I'll begin searching for your replacement."
     
262. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-01 Pub. Date: 2015-12-01
Image Number: 135993
Caption: Darlene! Wanna have lunch sometime? I'm having lunch now. I meant with me. Rudy … I find your boldness both unexpected and disturbing, as if you've suddenly become a different person. What time should I pick you up? Never o'clock.
     
263. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-25 Pub. Date: 2015-11-25
Image Number: 135701
Caption: What's the best way to break up with someone without hurting their feelings? Why would you want to do that? The whole point of breaking up with someone is to punish them for their shenanigans, their shortcomings, and their carnal incompetence! Why deny yourself satisfaction?! Every time you bring a tear to the eye of a loser, an angel get her wings.
     
264. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-23 Pub. Date: 2015-11-23
Image Number: 135699
Caption: What's the best way to break up with someone without hurting her feelings? Can't be done. What about "I think we've grown apart"? She'll be hurt you let that happen. What about "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you anymore? She'll be hurt you didn't tell her when there was still time to fix that. Are you saying there's absolutely no way to do it? There is one way, little buddy ... but it requires a crooked doctor who'll diagnose you with amnesia. I know a guy.
     
265. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-22 Pub. Date: 2015-11-22
Image Number: 134803
Caption: Good morning, Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you. I like licorice. It's time for your annual performance review. In short, you've done very well this year. Thank you, boss. You're friendly, punctual, and well-groomed. You follow direction acceptably, you've shown initiative, and you brew a fine cup of coffee. Those are the pluses. There's only one negative, really. Only 1.3 percent of your social media posts and comments have been about me or the cafe, and of those only 94% have been positive. An overwhelming 6% have been neutral. The only thing keeping me from firing you is, 0% have been negative. Just thought of a negative. I'm also not thrilled about that cute kitten you re-tweeted in February. I'm more of a piranha man.
     
266. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-18 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135390
Caption: I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press. Whatever, geek-boy. Tap tap tap tap tap. You're now the world's foremost authority on turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays. No one'll believe that. Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan. There is no "Crushistan." I've written a Wikipedia entry for Crushistan. You should teach a class on wasting time. Ring ring ring ring.
     
267. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-12 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-12 Pub. Date: 2015-11-12
Image Number: 135085
Caption: Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.
     
268. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-10 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-10 Pub. Date: 2015-11-10
Image Number: 135083
Caption: You want to see me, boss? I don't approve of the websites you've been visiting on company time. They're disgusting. Immoral. They sicken me to my core. If it were up to me, minion, they'd be illegal, and you'd be going to jail. If I want to visit the Bernie Sanders website, that's my business. You're on thin ice.
     
269. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-08 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134166
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
270. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-05 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-05 Pub. Date: 2015-11-05
Image Number: 134800
Caption: It's flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one! Barricade the doors! Burn all your incoming mail! Refuse all pizza deliveries! The best way to greet children and loved ones during this time of national tragedy is via not doing it. I would take your calls, but I don't know where your phone lines have been. HOJ.
     
271. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-02 Pub. Date: 2015-11-02
Image Number: 134797
Caption: Did you see the "Star Wars" trailer? O … M … G!!! I'm avoiding it like the plague, little buddy. I saw the prequels. I won't get fooled again. You don't know what you're missing! This trailer is like fifty times more exciting and satisfying than all three prequels combined! In fact, I've just posted my own cut of the movie on YouTube. I just copied and pasted the trailer 90 times in Final Cut, so it repeats for two hours. It's already got 7 million views. George Lucas must need a hug right now.
     
272. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133540
Caption: Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck, without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less than manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe you're a little biased about the whole "big giant mustache" issue. Likewise, my patchy little stubbly friend. On matters of great import, even the philosophers must sometimes agree to disagree. STOP!!! All the greatest philosophers had big mustaches, you know.
     
273. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-13 Pub. Date: 2015-10-13
Image Number: 133871
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been talking to … um … "Tina" for three whole weeks … Do you think it's too early to try and get her to move out here near me? Excellent question. The answer is, we're all barreling full-steam toward death and incontinence. So seize the moment!!! That's both depressing and uplifting at the same time.
     
274. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-09 Pub. Date: 2015-10-09
Image Number: 133538
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem? I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb … but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish? Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time. Metaphor. No, just two. Wait ... what?
     
275. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-21 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-21 Pub. Date: 2015-09-21
Image Number: 132888
Caption: How do I find true love, Randy? You really want my advice? Of course. I'm not getting any younger. My business empire is performing beyond expectations … so I figure now would be a good time to expand my portfolio and acquire a love interest. I don’t think you're ready for my advice on that. I expect at least a 120% return on my affection.
     
276. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-20 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 131973
Caption: Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over … baseball season's nearly done. The time is growing short to see the man-meat hit home runs. Their rippling biceps swinging wooden bats hard through the air … their quadriceps pump, unbridled, while I sit there and stare. And when they slide into home plate, there's always a slim chance ... that if they slid in wrong, they're a-gonna split their pants! I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear that.
     
277. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-17 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-17 Pub. Date: 2015-09-17
Image Number: 132593
Caption: What's the best way to groom a neck-beard? Um … I'm … why on earth would you … HOJ. The huge hipster lumberjack beard craze is two years old. It'll end soon, and then every hipster will be looking for the next big trend to follow. I could get in on the ground floor of it this time if I'm the first to groom it well and Instagram it. With the right 'do, my neck beard can go viral. That sentence makes me very uncomfortable.
     
278. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-02 Pub. Date: 2015-09-02
Image Number: 131969
Caption: Look at you. The vacant stare … the peach fuzz on your chin … the blissfully naïve countenance of an ignoramus … You're a man-child, Rudy. Someone had to tell you. Well? Say something, man-child. Oh. Sorry. I was just lost in thought … because it occurred to me that the whole country is only about two and a half times older than you. Zip it, baby-man!
     
279. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 131968
Caption: That Chinese stock market crash really wrecked our own market. Did you lose big when the market tanked? On the contrary. Let's say a café owner accidentally sold 12 50% stakes in his café to 12 different people. Let's say he knew it was just a matter of time before that misunderstanding landed him in jail ... unless those investors panicked and sold back the stock at an absurdly low price to the cafe owner ... and let's say the cafe owner had a few corrupt officials in China who owed him a massive favor. Wait ... you're not saying that you are responsible for the global stock market crash ... That's right. I'm not saying it.
     
280. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-24 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131657
Caption: Not cool, little buddy. Not cool. What're you talking about? Someone on Facebook posted a video of themselves making out with a ham sandwich … and you "liked" it. What? How did you know that?! We're Facebook friends. Every time you "like" something, it shows up in my newsfeed. But I thought you could only see my "like" if you've watched the video too. No ... No, I don't think so.
     
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