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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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221. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-27 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-27 Pub. Date: 2016-04-27
Image Number: 142429
Caption: Sadie, sometimes I get really depressed when I think about how divided we are as a country. You've been here a long time. Maybe you can help me. Are we really more divided now than at any time since the Civil War? I figured you'd be the best person to ask, seeing as how you were there. And is it true Abraham Lincoln had a high-pitched voice? You're going to have a high-pitched voice once I'm through with you.
     
222. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-15 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141818
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-bert … He'd tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
223. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-13 Pub. Date: 2016-04-13
Image Number: 141816
Caption: Boss, when's the last time you took a vacation? 1984. March 3rd, to be exact. A Saturday. Instead of staying in to perfect my 25-year plan … I took four hours off to go to Chuck E. Cheese's with my fellow annoying prepubescent's. Something tells me you were wearing a tie. I thought being seen as a man of the people would help me franchise my lemonade stands.
     
224. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141814
Caption: I have an idea for a new app: It'll tell you what your dog is thinking. What? How? Through a sensor planted in the dog's collar. Every time it barks, whines or sighs, the sensor will beam an English translation to your phone. It'll either say "feed me," "walk me," "I need to potty," or "leave me alone," or a random combination of those. That sounds like the most useless app ever. It'll also shout "I'm running!" when the dog is running.
     
225. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-03 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-03 Pub. Date: 2016-04-03
Image Number: 140631
Caption: I think it's time this café showed its commitment to LGBT rights. Ok. How, boss? Well, there's all this controversy over whether to allow people who are transgender to choose which restroom they want to use. And I think the whole discussion is demeaning and insulting to them. It's divisive. We should all be coming together to recognize that now matter what we are - male, female, or whatever - we're all one people. That's why I'm eliminating the bathrooms altogether, and putting a bucket out in the alley. The immense amount of money I'll save on water, paper towels, and toilet maintenance has nothing to do with this. I assume I'll win some sort of award for this. Very bad man.
     
226. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-31 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141148
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? Are you voting for Trump or Clinton? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when little Chester Oswald threw my liverwurst sandwich on the ground. The schoolmarm gave me a terrible choice: I could either eat the dirt-covered sandwich, or I could go hungry. So I chose the only thing I could choose ... I switched my sandwich with hers, and when she yakked up her lunch I laughed and laughed. So ... you're saying ... what?
     
227. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-30 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-30 Pub. Date: 2016-03-30
Image Number: 141147
Caption: Hello, this is Bernie Sanders. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I know. That's why I'm calling you. I want to thank you for being such a big supporter, going to my rallies, donating all that money … and I want to ask, if you supported me all that much … Why didn't you show up to vote for me in the primary, you yutz?! There was an early bird special at Sizzler. I lost all track of time.
     
228. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-26 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-26 Pub. Date: 2016-03-26
Image Number: 140831
Caption: I'm sick of the media covering Donald Trump all the time! There are so many other, more important stories to cover. Like the Kardashians. Have any of them been naked lately? I hardly think that's a more important story, little buddy. You're right. I guess that really wouldn't be earth-shattering news. HOJ. How about "have any of them NOT been naked lately?" Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?
     
229. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-25 Pub. Date: 2016-03-25
Image Number: 140830
Caption: You know what I just noticed, Sadie? We've never seen both you and Donald Trump together in the same room at the same time. I'm not following. What are you trying to say? Never mind, I'm not that interested. You're not a very insightful person. And nobody likes you. You're a mental lightweight who has no business talking to smart people. Do me a favor ... take off your glasses for a second. Nothing doing. You weak, dopey loser!
     
230. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-22 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-22 Pub. Date: 2016-03-22
Image Number: 140827
Caption: Boss, I just found out about a death in the family. Can I have some time off? Of course you can. The amount you may have depends on the distance of the relation. If it was a parent, you can have one full day. 18 hours for a sibling, 9 hours for a cousin ... but only if it's your first cousin. Your Facebook post says it was your fourth cousin thrice removed. That'll get you 45 seconds of bereavement time. Very bad man.
     
231. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-19 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-19 Pub. Date: 2016-03-19
Image Number: 140526
Caption: Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence. Error. No results found. What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one … what was it called … "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching. Oh, never mind. Just show me "The Terminator." Extermina … I mean, … "error."
     
232. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-17 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-17 Pub. Date: 2016-03-17
Image Number: 140524
Caption: Boss, the weirdest thing happened this morning. Someone threw a brick through my window at 4:30 a.m. Shocking. Horrible. Calamitous. Thank goodness you weren't hurt. On the bright side, since you were woken up, you managed to come in to work on time for the first time in months. Very. Bad. Man. There's a silver lining in everything, minion.
     
233. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 139688
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My best friend chews, loudly, with his mouth open. It embarrasses me every time we eat out. I'm afraid if I point it out, it'll ruin our friendship. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the point across without hurting his feelings? - Andrea in Anaheim. Excellent question. Here's what you do ... Next time you eat lunch with your friend, bring a newspaper. Every time he chews with his mouth open, roll up the newspaper and swat him on the nose with it. Then say "it works for my poodle." If he laughs instead of pressing charges, you'll know you've got a real friend. *MGMT accepts no responsibility for the possibly horrendous consequences of Sadie Cohen's advice, use at your own risk.
     
234. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-12 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-12 Pub. Date: 2016-03-12
Image Number: 140202
Caption: Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under "mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of." That's scheduled for March 2017 - February 2018. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word "dumb." ... Tough, but not impossible.
     
235. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-11 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-11 Pub. Date: 2016-03-11
Image Number: 140201
Caption: Why do people say they're "lying through their teeth"? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
236. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-09 Pub. Date: 2016-03-09
Image Number: 140199
Caption: Ask Sadie™ Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
237. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
238. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-29 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139842
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
239. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-28 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 139003
Caption: I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to play!" We've got some week-old coffee I haven't thrown out yet. That's pretty dangerous. Gimme a large and keep it coming.
     
240. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
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