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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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201. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-31 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147933
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's pivot. In my day, there was no such thing as a "pivot." A "pivot" was called something else. It was called "being a two-faced snake in the grass." The only time Truman "pivoted" was when we were on the dance floor, and he heard young Dick Nixon talking trash.
     
202. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-06 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-06 Pub. Date: 2016-08-06
Image Number: 146705
Caption: Rudy, stop thinking about it. About what? About how if the Dark Ages had never happened, we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now. Instead of poking acks on your me-phone, you'd have a chip implanted up your whatsits that'd let you do anything you could imagine. My phone says without the Dark Ages, we'd have had no Renaissance - so you science-haters are responsible for my me-phone. Stalemate.
     
203. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146701
Caption: I need to take some bereavement time off. "Bereavement time"? Let me check … No, there's no such thing as "bereavement time" in your contract, Rudy. I'd love to give you time off to grieve, but if I start allowing things that aren't in your contract, before we know it you'll be marrying your car. What car? I don't own a car. I believe my point still stands.
     
204. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-28 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-28 Pub. Date: 2016-07-28
Image Number: 146485
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Movie critics. For the last time, my review of Star Trek was totally unbiased and professional. You said "Nerd Trek 3 is a steaming pile of mediocrity, which should appeal to the younger generations. This reminds me of the time I dated Bill Shatner." See? Completely objective. You said "Chris Pine isn't half the back-rubber Shatner is." Objectively speaking.
     
205. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-15 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-15 Pub. Date: 2016-07-15
Image Number: 145832
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ... Ok ...
     
206. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-12 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-12 Pub. Date: 2016-07-12
Image Number: 145829
Caption: When's the last time you shaved, little buddy? Why do you ask? Because not all men can pull off the "rugged stubble" look. Stubble has to come in evenly, or you look like you've caught mange. I'd hate to be one of those guys. I'm about to hold you down and swipe at your with a straight razor, but it's as a friend.
     
207. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-10 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144704
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions.
     
208. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-07 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145517
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie?" Are America's best days behind us? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said "In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country." I still have no idea what he was talking about. I don't even remember what I asked you.
     
209. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-03 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-03 Pub. Date: 2016-07-03
Image Number: 144703
Caption: Sadie, I just read that the moon used to be a lot closer to earth. You? "Read"? Yes, I read all the time. It takes you that long to read a book? Now that's not nice, Mrs. Cohen. We don't have to go at each other all the time, do we? I dream of a day when you and I can let bygones be bygones, embrace one another, and give each other the respect each of us deserves. Nothing doing! Come on, Sadie. Don't you ever wonder how happy we could be if we called a cease-fire? How about it? ... Friends? (Sigh) Why not ... Great! Now, I read that billions of years ago, the moon was much closer. You were there, is that true? Cease-fire over!
     
210. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-28 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145235
Caption: I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy. I think you've had one too many hot cocoas, little buddy. No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard. Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self. HOJ. They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills. You're forgetting that to have descendants, you have to be able to get a date.
     
211. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144912
Caption: I guess you're pretty disappointed about Bernie Sanders. Why would I be? He'll win next time. Next time? Do you know how old he is? Yes. I remember being that age. I thought I knew it all. I was so headstrong. I didn't know the meaning of the word "pretendtocompromise." Not sure that's a word, Mort. Now I try to always add "You have a point, but ... " before I castigate someone.
     
212. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-20 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144909
Caption: In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. INGRATE!!!
     
213. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-19 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144040
Caption: Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Father's Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. She's tired in bed so I'm on 24/7 kid duty. I haven't left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Father's Day, my loving wife granted me ten fleeting moments of me-time, which I choose to spend buying expensive coffee in a run-down cafe, like I used to do when I was young and single and had all the time in the world. Mom wants to know when you'll be back. Tell the short person I can't hear it for another 5 minutes and 48 seconds! Sometimes I'm glad I can't even get a date.
     
214. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-15 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-15 Pub. Date: 2016-06-15
Image Number: 144576
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses."
     
215. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-29 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-29 Pub. Date: 2016-05-29
Image Number: 143143
Caption: I'll have a "Bernie Sanders." Sorry, Uncle Mort. That's not on the menu. Of course it is. It's been a popular menu item for months! Young people rave about it! They get bumper stickers and go to massive rallies! They go online and tell everyone they should just give the drink a chance! It's the best drink available, they say! It's snazzy! It's aces! It's a real sweet patootie! And then when the time comes to actually go out and buy it, guess what happens? Those crumbs forget to bring their wallets. I'm not really sure where you went with that analogy Uncle Mort. Never mind. Just give me a chamomile tea.
     
216. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-28 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143660
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I earn $80k, and I just got a side gig that'll pay me $38k. But my tax guy says that'll make me owe $30k extra in taxes! So for all this extra work I'm doing, I'll only take home about $8,000! What's the point of even trying to get ahead?! Excellent question. It reminds me of the time my pa worked his entire life away in a coal mine in return for a burlap sack and one monthly chicken. Stop yer sniveling, you pampered princess!!!
     
217. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-24 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143656
Caption: Boss … if you could live in any era in history, which one would it be? I'm glad you asked. I've given this a lot of thought. I'd travel back to 14th century Europe and try to broker peace to head off the hundred year's war. I could save 3.3 million lives. I'd also bring a suitcase of penicillin and other antibiotics with me to cure "The Black Death" before it got started. I could save 200 million people. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Without that depletion of manpower, feudalism would never have tragically had to end and you'd be calling me "lord."
     
218. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-23 Pub. Date: 2016-05-23
Image Number: 143655
Caption: Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well … every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the big bang. That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer. I mean, everything being made up of atoms of math is kind of suspicious. We really should have our own science show.
     
219. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-18 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-18 Pub. Date: 2016-05-18
Image Number: 143352
Caption: Boss, what's your favorite planet? Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself. That's the description I've listed it by on realestate.com. I'm pretty sure you can't sell Saturn. Of course not. I'm selling a time-share on Titan. With a view of Saturn.
     
220. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-29 time 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-29 Pub. Date: 2016-04-29
Image Number: 142431
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Being a high school student is literally killing me. I sit all day at school, and I sit all evening doing my homework. Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem. Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway. The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!
     
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