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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about time, times, and timing.

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61. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-09-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-09-03 Pub. Date: 2013-09-02
Image Number: 101236
Caption: Pop Culture Periscope Presents TEDDY BEAR DEVOLUTION. The Golden Years. 1924 - Pooh, Winnie The. Innocent as a bear can be. 1944 - Smokey. Found life purpose in preventing forest fires. 1958 - Paddington. Unfailingly polite immigrant bear; liked marmalade. Transition Period. 1993 - Bear From Bjork's "Human Behavior" Video - First known appearance of a female pop star inside a giant bear. Devolution. F#@k! 2010 - Ted. Hollywood's ill-mannered, substance-abusing bear (blatant ripoff of alt-cartoon bear Mr. Wiggles.) 2013 - Video Music Awards - Miley Cyrus drags bears to all-time low.
     
62. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-29 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-29 Pub. Date: 2013-07-29
Image Number: 99937
Caption: The Right To Bear Bags. And now a word from the plastics industry: You may have heard some trash talk lately about plastic shopping bags. Some cities have even banned them! Time for some facts. "So plastic bags gum up recycling machinery, and New York City alone dumps 100,000 tons of them into landfills each year." "That is nothing compared to your right to carry individually-wrapped slices of American cheese in a plastic package in a plastic bag." Krapft Singles. "Why, if the polymer police get their way, this gorgeous living work of art some wrongly call the 'Pacific Garbage Patch' might not exist for out grandchildren!" Any new taxes on disposable sacks, and we're throwing re-usable totes into the Boston Harbor! Plastic Party Patriots. "Plastic Bags: Our Last Line of Defense Against Tyranny!"
     
63. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-02 Pub. Date: 2013-07-01
Image Number: 98928
Caption: Giving Gas A Pass. You've heard the rhetoric, even from the President. Today we use more clean energy - more renewables and natural gas. Sure, natural gas burns cleaner than coal … But where does it come from? From the dirty and largely unregulated world of fracking. So ... You're exempt from the Clean Water Act, and you won't disclose the chemicals you're pumping into the ground. Halliburton. Burns clean! Lots of things sound harmless if you gloss over how they were produced. These diamonds I'm wearing are currently conflict-free. Maybe it's time for a little honesty. This bus runs on clean natural gas.* *Not counting water contamination, highly carcinogenic chemicals pumped into the earth, toxic pits and condensate tanks, methane leaks that add to global warming, spills, air pollution, using millions of gallons of water, poisoning people near wells.
     
64. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-03 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-04 Pub. Date: 2013-06-03
Image Number: 97832
Caption: The GOP is trying to cut food stamps. Aw, SNAP! There goes that gravy train. I was living so high on the hog - all the pureed peas I could eat! I know. I used to SLAM that Gerber Peach Cobbler. So, what now? I guess it's time to pull ourselves up by our bootie straps. Unemployment Office. Where are we, anyway? I don't know, but I'm getting hungry.
     
65. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-05-13 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-05-14 Pub. Date: 2013-05-13
Image Number: 97050
Caption: Where were you … When carbon dioxide levels passed 400 parts per million? 400. 350. 300. 1970. 2013. Tammy Philipps, 36: "I was on my 75-minute commute to work." Bruce Kriebler, 58: "I was blowing flower petals off my driveway with my Leafslayer 5000." Barb and Carl Birnbaum, 45 & 47: "We were hauling our toys to the lake to spend some time in nature." S.S. Turtle Whacker.
     
66. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-21 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-22 Pub. Date: 2013-04-21
Image Number: 96247
Caption: A Well-Funded Militia. Another legislative massacre! The Herald-Spitoon. Senate killed gun safety measure. Bill dies despite overwhelming public support. Many irate citizens begin demanding background checks for those trying to purchase a congressman. It's time we stopped elected officials from falling into the wrong hands! The background checks would close the "Fundraising Show" loophole, in which dangerous politicians are openly sold. I'll take an assault senator! Lobbyists vow a nasty fight. Once you start tracking who owns what government stooge, it's a slippery slope to having our government stooges taken away!
     
67. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-25 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-26 Pub. Date: 2013-03-25
Image Number: 95150
Caption: North Dakota recently passed a ban on abortion after the first six weeks of pregnancy - before many women realize they're expecting. Well, it looks like you're six weeks and one minute pregnant! Have some diapers. What other hoops will women soon have to jump through? In addition to receiving forced ultrasounds, women seeking abortion must spend a week socializing with mothers-to-be. Preggers Non-Alcoholic Bar & Grill. Abortion clinics only allowed in airspace above North Dakota. If a woman can't be bothered to take a rocket to an abortion station, maybe she shouldn't get one. Women must travel into the future to determine pregnancy status, then return to the past to undo having sex. Back to the Fetus. If a woman doesn't own a time-traveling Delorean, maybe she shouldn't be putting out.
     
68. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-18 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-19 Pub. Date: 2013-03-18
Image Number: 94900
Caption: Giant sugary drinks are a far greater threat to public health than marijuana. Introducing the mag that treats them like the drugs they are! Synthesize your own! Sickest syrup recipes for the home lab, p. 7. High Fructose Corn Syrup Times. Comic: The Fabulous Furry Fructose Brothers. p. 31. Drink Ban Horror Story. "I had to add sugar to my coffee myself." p. 19. 60 Ounces Of Sweet Mountain Dewbie. Groovy Glass "Water" Straws. p. 56. "The Hummingbird." How Big A Poophead Are You? Take our quiz, p. 24. Social Sipper. Chronic. Sorensen. The Legacy of Cob Marley. p. 67.
     
69. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-02-04 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-02-05 Pub. Date: 2013-02-04
Image Number: 93238
Caption: Licensed to Share. Facebook and its photo-sharing app instagram have been asking some users for their driver's licenses in order to access their accounts. Impudent human with a pen name! You can ONLY be Archibald Schmuckfink! How much more intrusive can they get? Please upload two (2) dental x-rays, your baby footprints, a DNA sequence, and the contents of your diary. A forensics team will arrive at your home shortly. Please remain where you are. Instagram users will need to complete a survey to share photos. Do you like tacos? How many do you eat per week? Would you ever use an e-coupon to buy a taco? What do you think of Mexican people? Oh, you are Mexican. Actually, we knew that. Complaints about the new policies are dismissed by the company. With out many nostalgic photo filters, you can easily imagine a time before everything you did was tracked and sold to marketers!
     
70. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-24 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-25 Pub. Date: 2012-09-24
Image Number: 87946
Caption: Hate the "Nanny State"? You'll love The Aristocratic Old Grandpa State. Everywhere you look lately, there's a member of the prosperity police telling you what to do. Tut-tut! Not working hard enough! Calculus 101. These success Nazis are obsessed with social engineering. The more I keep, the better everyone does! Scribble-scribble. Tax Code by me. Ayn Rand Reader. Also, young ladies should stop having sex except for with me. They keep crushing individualism with their corporate collectivism. I'm just like you, except with astronomical amounts of money and power. Plus: Immortality. Galactibank corporate charter. Mom & Pop Co. Yes, it's time to get big plutocracy off our backs! Pay more taxes, you pathetic mooch! I would, but you laid me off!
     
71. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-06 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-06 Pub. Date: 2012-08-06
Image Number: 86669
Caption: POP CULTURE PERISCOPE. Web ads touting odd tips from moms are EVERYWHERE. Lose belly flab in 10 days with one weird trick discovered by a mom. Scientists are awed by the large number of discoveries. Four years of med school and $100k in student loans, and I'm routinely outclassed by some mom from, strangely, whatever town I happen to be in. The first known instance of such an ad dates back to newspapers circa 1891. ASTOUNDING! This one peculiar gambit devised by a frontierswoman cuts butter churning time in half! Here's one we'd like to see: Learn a mom's one weird trick to get stupid people to click on web ads.
     
72. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 86650
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
73. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-31 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-31 Pub. Date: 2012-07-31
Image Number: 86668
Caption: FAT CAT. As you may have heard, we at Caterpillar had record profits of $4.9 billion last year. So, naturally we're freezing 800 workers' wages for the next six years while we increase executive pay big time! "How do we do it? Introducing our Employee Fracking System." First, we turn our jumbo-shaft wallet borer lose on workers. "Then our state-of-the-art pneumatic profit pump siphons the money directly into executives' tax shelters." Finally, our 300-horsepower pension compactor handily crushes retirement packages to the size of a small toaster oven! KRUNCH! Caterpillar: In a class by ourselves.
     
74. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-09 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-09 Pub. Date: 2012-07-09
Image Number: 86665
Caption: APP-SESSIVE COMPULSIVE. There are now apps for recording data on practically every aspect of your life - From food to running to people you meet. The Bean Bomb at Big Bubba's Burrito Barn. July 22, 2012. Notes: Very beany. *** It's like we've become a nation of unpaid data entry workers. This pave seems cool. Wait - I need to check in, tag who I'm with, take a picture, and set up a review on Pubbify. Having trouble remembering to record every waking moment? Download APP-SESSIVE tm Today! Virtual bossbot reminds you to stay busy! You haven't entered data in 20 minutes! Get back into the Cloud! Create pie charts of your time spent inputting data, and share them with friends! Check out my activity pie! Dude! Tiny life-slice! Living. Typing.
     
75. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-02 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-02 Pub. Date: 2012-07-02
Image Number: 86664
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
76. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-14 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-14 Pub. Date: 2012-05-14
Image Number: 86658
Caption: This just in: In response to President Obama's support for gay marriage, Mitt Romney has just announced his support for BULLY RIGHTS. Live. I've had enough of this ANTI-BULLY RHETORIC! It's time for bullies to come out of the closet and be accepted for who they are. They should no linger have to hide their true selves by pretending to forget that they tormented effeminate classmates. For example. To that end, I wholeheartedly encourage BULLY MARRIAGE. The more bullies marry bullies - of the opposite sex, of course - the more BABY BULLIES there will be! Baby bullies? Do you want a swirly? Soon: Romney shows up at a BULLY PRIDE PARADE. WE'RE HERE! WE'RE SQUARE! GET USED TO IT!
     
77. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-23 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-23 Pub. Date: 2012-04-23
Image Number: 86655
Caption: Take and Give. OMNIWIDGET INTERNATIONAL. TM. Dump those 3,000 tons of sludge into the river! Sir, the Chinese factory workers' faces are melting off from toxic acid. Not my problem. Re-Elect PAUL RUIN. "Nuke the social safety net." I gave $5 million to this guy's superpac. You even THINK about forming a union, you DIE! BOOF! These stupid occupy protesters complaining about student loans! 20 Years Later ... Ah, retirement! Time to devote myself to PHILANTHROPY and help those in need!
     
78. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-01 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-01 Pub. Date: 2012-01-01
Image Number: 86595
Caption: Slowpoke. The Color of Welfare. From listening to people like Newt, you'd never know that more whites receive food stamps than blacks. … The African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps. (Actual quote.) Funny how republicans don't seem to single out the rural whites getting "handouts." You folks need to stop collecting other people's money and get a job! Things would be certainly be different if they did. There would have been more bombings in Oklahoma City, but Timothy McVeigh stopped to collect his welfare check! Ron Paul looks like a scrawny backwoods METHHEAD!* Crox News. *based on statements made about blacks my Ron Paul's newsletter and Brent Bozell. And what's with all the poor hicks owning HUGE TRUCKS? It's time to get these Dodge Ram-driving welfare kings off the government teat! Crox News.
     
79. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-30 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-30 Pub. Date: 2011-11-30
Image Number: 89007
Caption: Slowpoke. Starve the Beast. Hey, American consumers! Did you know your hard-earned dollars are funding corporate waste? They are? CEOs now make 343 times the average worker. Doesn't sound very lean, mean, and efficient to me! Drawn to scale. CEO toe. Worker. Expense accounts! Private jets! First-class travel! High-priced motivational speakers! Corporate retreats! All of it thick slabs of pork paid for by you! Funny how I don't bump into any schoolteachers here ... Time to trim the fat, don't you think? As I like to say, I don't want to abolish bloated, corrupt corporations ... I just want to shrink them down to the size where I can drown them in the bathtub.
     
80. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-16 time 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-16 Pub. Date: 2011-11-16
Image Number: 89019
Caption: Slowpoke … And the U.N. has estimated that the planet's 7 billionth person will be born right about … now! Population boom! Wait - this just in! The 7 billionth person-to-be has just issued a statement! NNN. Nattering Noggins News. Speaking from an undisclosed gestation location, she says: "Even a pre-conscious proto-human such as myself knows your world is seriously fubared." Breaking: Angry baby. "I'm not even born yet, and I already have 300 industrial chemicals in my bloodstream, you piggish dolts." "There still probably won't be any jobs two decades from now." Furious fetus! "And if I do land some soul-sucking crap work, all the wealth I create will go to some selfish dipstick making 200 times more than me." "Honestly, why bother? Count me out! Or in, as the case may be. Signed, Baby 7B. Fumin' pre-human. In other news, presidential candidate Herman Cain has suggested that the wealthiest 1% be referred to as "your overlords."
     
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