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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:     (17 images)


1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2018-12-20 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-12-20 Pub. Date: 2018-12-20
Image Number: 175578
Caption: Hate the Nanny State? You'll love The Aristocratic Old Grandpa State. Everywhere you look lately, there's a member of the Prosperity Police telling you what to do. Tut-tut! Not working hard enough! These success Nazis are obsesses with social engineering. The more I keep, the better everyone does! Also, young ladies should stop having sex, except for with me. Tax Code by me. Ayn Rand Reader. Scribble-scribble. They keep crushing individualism with their corporate collectivism. I'm just like you, except with astronomical amounts of money and power. Plus: Immortality. Galactibank Corporate Charter. Mom & Pop Co. Yes, it's time to get big plutocracy off our backs! Pay more taxes, you pathetic mooch! I would, but you laid me off!
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2018-10-01 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174346
Caption: High School Slang with Brett Kavanaugh. Judge Kavanaugh, what does boof mean? Flatulence, of course. And Beach Week Ralph Club? I get sick from spicy food. Let's try a few more. What a woman's rack? It's the shelf where she keep her spelling bee trophies. A nice rack should be respected! Hmmm, I see. How about blowjob? It's when you and a girl blow the little fluffy things off dandelions together. I like blowjobs! Don't you? Uh ... wasted? Time not spend in church on Sunday. Gang bang? A group belch. Teenage boys do it. Sorry, this sounds like B.S. I'm afraid I don't know that term.
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-20 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 145091
Caption: A Stanford student-athlete convicted of sexual assault blames "binge drinking." Dude, I got so wasted last night, I diddled and dry-humped an unconscious girl behind a dumpster. Happens to me all the time, bro. A judge let him off easy, citing concern for his future. As for less upwardly-mobile rapists ... I see you're a high school dropout who can't catch a football. They say orange is the new black. This guy can get a harsh sentence just for being in the vicinity. Just going to buy some milk Nano-Mart. Confused? Talk to your lawyer about the justice plan that's right for you. Predator Pass. Platinum. Tucker Huntley. I'm pre-approved for three assaults a year!
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-12-29 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-12-29 Pub. Date: 2014-12-29
Image Number: 121030
Caption: Take and Give. Omniwidget International. Dump those 3,000 tons of sludge into the river! Sir, the Chinese factory workers' faces are melting off from toxic acid. Not my problem. Re-elect Paul Ruin. "Nuke the social safety net." I gave $5 million to this guy's Superpac. You even think about forming a union, you die! Boof! Save Pell Grants. These stupid protesters complaining about student loans! 20 years later ... Ah, retirement! Time to devote myself to philanthropy and help those in need!
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-01-13 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-01-14 Pub. Date: 2014-01-13
Image Number: 106384
Caption: Nation of Moochers. $17/hour. "[what} workers at the bottom of the wage scale would be earning if increased labor productivity were reflected in their pay, rather than in corporate profits, executive compensation and shareholder returns" - New York Times, 1/10/14. Sadly, we living in a nation of takers who prefer to siphon money from productive citizens. The corporate culture of dependence in action. Of course I deserve 350 times as mush as my minions! Time to teach these parasites there's no free lunch! Actually, this is on my expense account. Bonbon? Unfortunately, this might prove difficult. Tsk-tsk! 26 weeks of mooching off others is enough! Extend unemployment benefits now! But you've been mooching off me for 26 years!
     
6. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-05-13 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-05-14 Pub. Date: 2013-05-13
Image Number: 97050
Caption: Where were you … When carbon dioxide levels passed 400 parts per million? 400. 350. 300. 1970. 2013. Tammy Philipps, 36: "I was on my 75-minute commute to work." Bruce Kriebler, 58: "I was blowing flower petals off my driveway with my Leafslayer 5000." Barb and Carl Birnbaum, 45 & 47: "We were hauling our toys to the lake to spend some time in nature." S.S. Turtle Whacker.
     
7. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-24 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-25 Pub. Date: 2012-09-24
Image Number: 87946
Caption: Hate the "Nanny State"? You'll love The Aristocratic Old Grandpa State. Everywhere you look lately, there's a member of the prosperity police telling you what to do. Tut-tut! Not working hard enough! Calculus 101. These success Nazis are obsessed with social engineering. The more I keep, the better everyone does! Scribble-scribble. Tax Code by me. Ayn Rand Reader. Also, young ladies should stop having sex except for with me. They keep crushing individualism with their corporate collectivism. I'm just like you, except with astronomical amounts of money and power. Plus: Immortality. Galactibank corporate charter. Mom & Pop Co. Yes, it's time to get big plutocracy off our backs! Pay more taxes, you pathetic mooch! I would, but you laid me off!
     
8. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-01 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-01 Pub. Date: 2012-08-01
Image Number: 86650
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
9. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-07-02 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-07-02 Pub. Date: 2012-07-02
Image Number: 86664
Caption: WEALTHCARE. The right-wing Supreme Court justices were bitterly divided on health care. But there was one little-known ruling they all agreed on. We must protect the health of CORPORATE CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS! Under the new Wealthcare law, all pre-existing conditions are covered. From bill tears ... To viral infections. Account Balance $4,712,893. ! Security Alert. All political money shall receive free checkups. I've lost my voice, I've been speaking on behalf of so many lobbyists! Happens all the time! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100. "Better wealthcare means putting America's greatest ORATORS back to WORK! Hi-ho, hi-ho! It's off to Congress we go! To: Senator Doofus. One million & 00/100.
     
10. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-23 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-23 Pub. Date: 2012-04-23
Image Number: 86655
Caption: Take and Give. OMNIWIDGET INTERNATIONAL. TM. Dump those 3,000 tons of sludge into the river! Sir, the Chinese factory workers' faces are melting off from toxic acid. Not my problem. Re-Elect PAUL RUIN. "Nuke the social safety net." I gave $5 million to this guy's superpac. You even THINK about forming a union, you DIE! BOOF! These stupid occupy protesters complaining about student loans! 20 Years Later ... Ah, retirement! Time to devote myself to PHILANTHROPY and help those in need!
     
11. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-01 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-01 Pub. Date: 2012-01-01
Image Number: 86595
Caption: Slowpoke. The Color of Welfare. From listening to people like Newt, you'd never know that more whites receive food stamps than blacks. … The African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps. (Actual quote.) Funny how republicans don't seem to single out the rural whites getting "handouts." You folks need to stop collecting other people's money and get a job! Things would be certainly be different if they did. There would have been more bombings in Oklahoma City, but Timothy McVeigh stopped to collect his welfare check! Ron Paul looks like a scrawny backwoods METHHEAD!* Crox News. *based on statements made about blacks my Ron Paul's newsletter and Brent Bozell. And what's with all the poor hicks owning HUGE TRUCKS? It's time to get these Dodge Ram-driving welfare kings off the government teat! Crox News.
     
12. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-06-20 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-06-20 Pub. Date: 2010-06-20
Image Number: 90124
Caption: Slowpoke. Backyard Blitz. Hi there! I'm Al Perkins, President of L.O.U.D.* Here are some tips to keep your yard looking great this summer! Why use a broom to sweep grass clippings when you can use a LEAF BLOWER? REEEEEE-EEEEEEEE. Don’t bother with a ladder for those hard-to-reach places. A rocket-propelled jetpack will make pruning a BREEZE. BZZZZZZ. Cough! Cough! ROAR! BLAAAAAR! Scare off crows and other critters by encircling your yard with a wall of Marshall amps blaring Norwegian black metal! SA-TAN! SA-TAN! Bzzzz. Roar. And then it's time to sit back and relax! Ahh ... REEEEEEE. *Lawns Of Ungodly Decibels.
     
13. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-12-07 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-12-07 Pub. Date: 2009-12-07
Image Number: 90477
Caption: Slowpoke. Overnight Schmuck-cess. Breaking news! Couple found hiding in international space station. Ice Cream. Astronaut Ice Cream. Astronaut. Sources say the are stars of Bravo's upcoming reality series "Nookie in Nooks." This just in! Reporters of sex stowaways in space were fake! 2001: A Space Odyssey. A bit more floaty this time. Footage was actually shot in a UCLA dorm by a publicity-starved film student. Hot off the Wire! UCLA story a hoax! Erin. Billy. Ali. Rob. Chuck. Sandee. Video was guerrilla marketing ploy for new MTV series "Film School: Uncut." Dear readers, We regret to inform you that, just before our publication deadline, this week's Slowpoke was discovered to be a counterfeit. It was submitted by an artist hoping to appear on A&E's new show, "Real Cartoonists of the Alternative Press." We apologize for any confusion. Sincerely, The Editors.
     
14. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-12-08 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-12-08 Pub. Date: 2008-12-08
Image Number: 90999
Caption: Slowpoke. And now a word from the Secretary of the Treasury … Drooly Julie. My fellow Americans, it's time to get this country shaking it's moneymaker! To do this, we must look at the origin of our financial crisis: An overextension of the adult novelty industry. Firms like this one invested heavily in exotic sexual devices no one could understand - partner-default swaps, frottage-backed securers, queen-sized suction puppies, and foursquare bean strokers. Nookie Nook. In any event, a lust-based problem requires a lust-based solution ... First, I propose injecting liquidity into the tight credit market - again and again, as necessary. Also, we need to retool the auto industry. As Detroit goes limp, so goes the nation! We need the sexy cars of the future NOW! If workers must get laid off, they need job retraining, like my friend Bud here. Crack! Finally, we need public works projects. I want amateur porn block grants! massive bedroom infrastructure projects! And shtup for America volunteers! S.F.A. "E Duo Unum." Yes, it's time for THE NUDE DEAL!
     
15. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-08-18 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-08-18 Pub. Date: 2008-08-18
Image Number: 91249
Caption: Slowpoke. NOISE WAR. It started with the cell phone dipwads. YEA, I'M HAVING MY INVERTED NIPPLE EXTRUDED TODAY! Noise-cancelling headphones ensued. Blah blah blah blah. HA! But in this age of advanced ringtones, 4-wheelers, and fat tailpipes, it's only a matter of time before we see ... Mini personal leaf blowers to clear crumbs off of public seats! A Plexiglas bubble must be added to the anti-noise ensemble. Parents can no linger hear their wee ones above the din, so they use BABY AMPLIFIERS. I think she's crying WAAA. People resort to full-body suits made of sound-dampening eggshell foam, on top of everything else. Ah, peace and quiet! I can't move.
     
16. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2007-01-01 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2007-01-01 Pub. Date: 2007-01-01
Image Number: 92337
Caption: Slowpoke. Does it seem like your credit card company constantly sends you new conditions and fees? Due to your history of paying off your entire balance every month, we are instituting an "on-time" fee of $39. The lat fee is now $39.50. Since deregulation of the industry began in 1980, profits from fees have skyrocketed. Here are some more fees we can expect in the future. Trademark Inscription Fee - fee for use of a company's name while writing them on a check. 6/23/07. Super Uberbank. Seven hundred fifty-two. 752.00. It's OUR intellectual property! The Non-Psychic Billing Fee - For having bills sent by email rather than telepathically. Current account balance $1,182.39. Unconventional Usage Fee - for using card to jimmy open locked doors. The Corrupt Congress Fee - in honor of those who passed the bankruptcy bill and other industry-friendly laws. Just doing the work of the people. Give me my money now. The Borrowing Money While Poor Fee - just in case other fees, 30% interest rates, and predatory marketing aren't enough to push you over the edge. "You're pre-approved to be our debt slave!" The Complaining About Fees Fee - tiny voice recognition microchip in your card detects kvetching, alerts central computer. This fee is Bulls#!t! Account #13978420 -1246703 is resisting.
     
17. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2005-01-01 time off 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2005-01-01 Pub. Date: 2005-01-01
Image Number: 92669
Caption: Slowpoke. What's In a Name? Warning: There's a trendy new baby name out there. Meet Cash, our new bundle o joy! He was just minted last Monday. NRT? (True!) Could other upwardly mobile names be far behind? Bling! Time to go! Nasdaq! Mommy's here! Come, Success! ... Or corporate sponsorship? Tostito just loves his salsa stroller! Tostitos Chunky. Looks like a chip off the old block! Ha! Ha! Lipitor 40 mg. Before long ... Bob?! Who would name their kid Bob?! What a freak! Hi! I'm Cubicle. Hi! I'm iPod. Hi! I'm Tofurkey. Hi! I'm Teflon. Hi! I'm Bob.
     
Result page:     (17 images)