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361. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-08 |
| Image Number: |
169718 |
| Caption: |
Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
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362. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-08 |
| Image Number: |
169775 |
| Caption: |
Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
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363. |
 |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-05 |
| Image Number: |
170151 |
| Caption: |
1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot … The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
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364. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-04 |
| Image Number: |
169893 |
| Caption: |
!?! Okay fleas … one more are we there yet? and I'm turning this thing around.
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365. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-01 |
| Image Number: |
169753 |
| Caption: |
How do I get myself in to these things?
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366. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-31 |
| Image Number: |
169890 |
| Caption: |
Sure, there are probably aliens. But why would they want to come here? The answer's obvious. How many of us tune in to insipid reality shows like The Bachelor and Real Housewives? If there's on thing we should all be able to agree on, it's that world history's been a bit melodramatic. We can't be the only species enthralled by the eternal question: What the @#$% is going on over there?
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367. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Chip Bok |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Chip Bok's Editorial Cartoons |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2006-08-28 |
| Image Number: |
14556 |
| Caption: |
Organization Chart. (No) Pluto. CEO Science. And if things don't pick up, Uranus is next. |
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368. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-29 |
| Image Number: |
169888 |
| Caption: |
A bridge collapsed in Florida, killing the poor people who were underneath it. It was built with a technique called Accelerated Bridge Construction. Shouldn't they have know, just from the name, that that technique shouldn't actually be a thing? It's like Accelerated Gun Safety Class. Or Accelerated Lion-Taming. Some things just shouldn't be. People are dying because of accelerated impatience.
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369. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-28 |
| Image Number: |
169757 |
| Caption: |
The thing about older dogs is they sleep a lot. Sometimes he sleeps so long I have to poke him to make sure he's still alive. Oh, I know what you mean … I have to do the same thing with Earl.
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370. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves Tom Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Frank and Ernest |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-28 |
| Image Number: |
169855 |
| Caption: |
And the whole thing is controlled by this single "universal" remote! |
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371. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-27 |
| Image Number: |
169886 |
| Caption: |
I read your article about how the president shouldn't have chosen a torturer to head the CIA. That's right. She oversaw the torture of Abd Al-Rahim Al-Nashiri, and she ordered the destruction of evidence that we tortured people. That's fake new. We never tortured. We only did enhanced interrogation. You can't change a thing by calling it something else. That's obfuscation. No, it altfact.
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372. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-26 |
| Image Number: |
169755 |
| Caption: |
You got a new dog? I adopted him from the shelter. I call him Buster. Well, actually, I don't call him anything. He's totally deaf. He can't hear a thing. Ooh, poor Buster! How do people get your attention? Like this … I've found that the floor vibrations of Flamenco dancing seems to get through to him. Stomp! Stompitty stomp! Stomp!
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373. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-25 |
| Image Number: |
169194 |
| Caption: |
Do you think the moon is real? Well … there are tons of videos on Youtube about how the moon's artificial. They point out Apollo astronauts said that when they crashes a ship into it, the moon rang like a bell and it kept vibrating for hours. This is why they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. You, for instance, know enough about physics to know that manmade metal objects that are hollow inside ring when they're struck ... but you don't know enough to know that the reason earth doesn't ring or vibrate for hours when there's a quake is that our planet's rocks are full of moisture that acts like a sponge, dampening the shockwaves. Not so on the moon. A little knowledge makes you a slave to conspiracy theories. A lot of knowledge makes you their master. You seem to know a lot about this ... that' awfully convenient.
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374. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-25 |
| Image Number: |
168997 |
| Caption: |
Are you looking for something, Opal? Yes, I can't find my glasses. Did you look in yoru purse? No. Why not? I can't find it. That's why I'm looking for my glasses, so I can find my purse. I'm hoping that's where I left my car keys. That's why it's a good thing women gramma's age don't have babies.
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375. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-21 |
| Image Number: |
169640 |
| Caption: |
I had to lay off all the employees at my backup business. Backing people up in online arguments isn't profitable anymore? Not after last night. President Trump found out I was backing up Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, so he slapped a 30% tariff on my industry. Suddenly my foreign employees were costing me a fortune. So you're going to hire Americans to argue, then? No, I'm going to automate the whole thing. I've already programmed the hate-bot.
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376. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-20 |
| Image Number: |
169627 |
| Caption: |
I'm starting to feel like nothing really matters anymore. Dr. Noodle. I remember just ten years ago, I'd spend hours online arguing with random strangers about important things. M.D. We all seemed to take plenty of time back then to listen to each others' points. We'd research our counter-arguments and present them. Sometimes we'd actually change each others' minds. I see. So when you tweeted all that last night, how did people respond? Some said I was being a snowflake, other said that was fake news.
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377. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Joel Pett |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Joel Pett's Editorial Cartoons |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-10-08 |
| Image Number: |
39457 |
| Caption: |
Creationism Class. "Ardi" (Age 4 million or so). Then God created Adam, who had a thing for older women. |
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378. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Signe Wilkinson |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Family Tree |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
53767 |
| Caption: |
Ranking teachers is a terrible idea. They're trying to get rid of the bad ones. School. West Fester Junior High. But just thing if we only had good teachers. What a nightmare! We'd have no one to blame but ourselves. |
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379. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-18 |
| Image Number: |
168967 |
| Caption: |
Every time there's a huge massacre, the anti-massacre snowflakes try to take away my arsenal. Don't they know what country they're in? This country was founded on guns. The laws that forbid the carrying of arms … disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes ... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants ... for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. - Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson never said that. And even if he had, you'd be resting your argument on the opinion of a slave owner. There they go playing the slavery card again. Well, you have to admit, if a guy thinks it's ok to treat people like property, that guy's judgment is suspect. That part of his judgment only applied to back then. The gun part applies to right now and forever ... because reasons. You know what he thought it was ok to do with his slaves?
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380. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-17 |
| Image Number: |
169398 |
| Caption: |
Whachoomean little man with his momma? I thought you had full custody. An' I thought you said she an evil vampire. Lionel's been asking to visit his mom for a while now. I don't want to deny him that, even if the court says I can. Besides, people are different things to different people. Just 'cause she's evil toward me, that doesn't mean she's evil toward him. Didn't you say she once tried to have you assassinated? That was just a misunderstanding.
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