I said: Get me a @#$% coffee! You're healed. What saved you? I was watching the news and I saw you - on my tv - spending the night to buy a new iPhone as soon as they went on sale. Your mindless consumerism made me so @#$% angry, that I spontaneously healed so I could come back here and strangle you! Hand over that &@#$ iPhone, loser! No way, it's keeping you healthy.
Okay, dictation monkey, can you read back to me my Hypochondriac's Handbook Rules To Live By? Not really. While you were talking, I was pretending to type what you said, but I was actually playing a video game on my phone. I can't strangle you because I don't want to touch your cold-and-flu ridden corpus. One of those moments I just relish.