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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about sons.

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341. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-20 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-20 Pub. Date: 2007-10-20
Image Number: 18936
Caption: You get five minutes. Don't try to make him talk if he isn't ready. You'll traumatize him. And no trying to teach him about science fiction or fantasy stuff. It's all nonsense. Can you say "Lord Voldemort" for Daddy? You bugged his diaper. A mother's prerogative.
     
342. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-19 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-19 Pub. Date: 2007-10-19
Image Number: 18935
Caption: Our son's gonna stand under these stars one night, Roxanne. And he's gonna say, "Poppa, what are those?" And I'm gonna say "Ask your mother. I'm not allowed to talk about it." I said he can't watch "Battlestar Galatica" and I meant it. He's already one, he's falling behind!
     
343. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-18 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-18 Pub. Date: 2007-10-18
Image Number: 18934
Caption: Look, Lemont, if you're concerned that our son hasn't spoken yet, why not take him to speech therapy? Then you can pay for it with the nonexistent health benefits your dead-end job doesn't give you. That's a double negative. You're actually saying my employer DOES give me health-- THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!
     
344. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-17 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-17 Pub. Date: 2007-10-17
Image Number: 18933
Caption: How old were you when you said your first word, Roxanne? Seven months. Why? I was five months old. So what? Haven't you noticed our son hasn't said a word yet? No babbling, even. So? What could a one-year-old possibly say that would interest me?
     
345. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-04 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-04 Pub. Date: 2007-10-04
Image Number: 18781
Caption: C-Dogg's Attitude Adjustment Clinic. Doctor Dogg. The other day I was driving behind a slow, elderly woman. Instead of just passing her, I stayed behind her honking and cussing. I feel big behind the wheel like I own the road. YOU PUNK-@#*, WHA'S YO' PROBLEM, FOOL?! YOU AIN'T @#&$, SON! YOU AIN'T NUTHIN! YOU TINY, PUNK! TINY! Wow. Thanks, Doctor. I don't feel big anymore. Schedule your followup with Nurse Lysol.
     
346. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-24 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-24 Pub. Date: 2007-09-24
Image Number: 18684
Caption: How come I've never seen your son, Lemont? If you ever let that tramp Susan so much as look at him, you'll never see him again. She's just a friend. You're the one I love, Susan. I'M ROXANNE. Um… he's been busy. Busy? He's one.
     
347. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-20 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-20 Pub. Date: 2007-09-20
Image Number: 18621
Caption: Federal Agent Murph visits Lemont. Lemme explain to you why a guy like me would choose to marry the unstable mother of this child. Let me explain to you why a poor black man might not want to take a rich white woman to court and try to win custody. Lemme explain why he might think the only way to guarantee a place in his kid's life is to marry the woman. ...ok, explain away. ...did you have to pass an intelligence test or anything to get your job?
     
348. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-19 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-19 Pub. Date: 2007-09-19
Image Number: 18620
Caption: Federal Agent Murph visits Lemont. This invasion of privacy is outrageous! It's none of your business that I'm marrying the mother of my child! My life is none of your business! I demand to see the files you have on me! I demand to know how you got all that detailed information! I read it on your blog. Oh... well... Hey, thanks for reading.
     
349. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-18 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-18 Pub. Date: 2007-09-18
Image Number: 18619
Caption: Federal Agent Murph visits Lemont Brown. According to our files, you shouldn’t be marrying this woman. Files? What files? Fact: you grew up with no father, statistically, you should repeat that cycle, fathering and abandoning your own child. …But you're marrying the woman so you can raise your son. It's a statistical anomaly. I know you flunked statistics in college, but...
     
350. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-15 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-15 Pub. Date: 2007-09-15
Image Number: 18531
Caption: I swear, Roxanne, I'm not gay, and I want to marry you… …for our son's sake. I love you more than anything. I love our son more than anything. I want us to be together forever. I want us to be together for 18 years, then I'm out. I believe you, Lemont. I want to believe you, Lemont.
     
351. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-30 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-30 Pub. Date: 2007-08-30
Image Number: 18404
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I've voted for people who ended up hurting the nation. I blame myself. Next time, should I actually research their plans and their records instead of just voting for the one I'd want to have a beer with? Nah, jus' don't vote. Then you can blame whatever happens on other people. You make a lot of sense, C-dog. It's my job, son.
     
352. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-29 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-29 Pub. Date: 2007-08-29
Image Number: 18403
Caption: C-dog's incredibly bad advice. $2. C-dog, I took out a sub-prime loan for a huge house, even though I only work part time at burger queen. Now I can't afford to pay it back. What should I do? Burn the house down, collect the insurance money and flee to Mexico, son! Can't I just secretly take out a mortgage on my mom's house? Dude. That'd just be wrong.
     
353. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-07 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-07 Pub. Date: 2007-07-07
Image Number: 17828
Caption: The answer to your question is simple, my son. The Bible tells us "do not covet your neighbor's wife." Oh, cool! She lives clear across town. What? What?
     
354. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-12 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-12 Pub. Date: 2007-06-12
Image Number: 17560
Caption: Are you happy you're marrying the mother of your love-child? Are you looking forward to raising a son with a woman you don't love? Or does the prospect fill you with despair? It's tough to tell. Would you mind smacking me upside the head with this bat?
     
355. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-04 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-22 Pub. Date: 2006-07-04
Image Number: 14164
Caption: Lemont, I'm you at age 80. I've come back through time in our dreams to warn you not to watch the news tomorrow. Why not? Um … I don't remember. Oh. Listen, I've been meaning to ask you, does our son grow up happy? Son? What son? Not to self: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Who are you?
     
356. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-27 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-27 Pub. Date: 2007-04-27
Image Number: 17004
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Here's the thing, Brown, if we're being sold to Trigon Corp. They'll want cost-cutting. Corporations have shareholders. Shareholders demand huge and growing profit margins. I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, son. We can't afford you anymore. But you don't pay me anything. Oh. Well. Carry on, then.
     
357. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-26 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-26 Pub. Date: 2007-04-26
Image Number: 17003
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Brown, what do you think about lug nuts? Lug nuts, Sir? The Dubois Family built us into one of the most respected newspapers in the nation. They're selling us, Brown, to the Trigon Corporation. You know what Trigon is known for, son? Hint: it ain't journalism. Are you sure that's water in your cup, sir? From now on, all you stories will be lug nut-friendly.
     
358. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-18 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-27 Pub. Date: 2007-03-18
Image Number: 16617
Caption: I just figured out what's bugged me about the "Rocky" movies all these years, Dawg. Every movie shows white men beatin' down "uppity" black men. Sounds crazy, right? But check this, dawg… Rocky 1: White dude beats down Apollo Creed. Rocky II: White dude beats down Apollo Creed again and wins. Rocky III: White dude beats down Mr. T. Rocky IV: White dude kills Apollo Creed. Rocky V: Stallone trains a white dude who beats down a whole grip of black dudes. Rocky VI: Stallone schools some young brutwas named "Mason Dixon." I'll ask you again, Clyde: Did you steal my VCR? Focus, Son. Focus!
     
359. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-15 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-18 Pub. Date: 2007-02-15
Image Number: 16128
Caption: I'm not fired? Firing Frank Blunt is a big blow. He was pursuing all the unkept promises to the people of New Orleans. A real digger, but can't afford him now. But I refuse to abandon the story, Lemont. We're publishing a book collecting all your moving blog posts about Katrina. Congratulations, son. You're an author. I'm not fired?
     
360. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-17 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-18 Pub. Date: 2007-02-17
Image Number: 16130
Caption: Momma, I did it! I'm getting published! The Chronicle's putting out a book collecting my writings about Hurricane Katrina. All my blog posts about the unkept government promises, the suffering and death. Isn't that great? What am I saying?
     
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