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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about sons.

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281. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-10 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-10 Pub. Date: 2009-06-10
Image Number: 35001
Caption: You haven't given me anything to persuade a court Lionel would be better off in your custody. Here's how the judge'll see it. Roxanne's rich, you're poor. She's White, you're Black. She's the mother, you're just the father. (sigh) I didn't want to tell you this, but... Wait, I'm forgetting one... Roxanne is a vampire. SNAP. Thank you. She's sane. You're not.
     
282. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-09 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-09 Pub. Date: 2009-06-09
Image Number: 35000
Caption: The Law Guy. This morning… To win custody of Lionel, we'll have to convince the judge Roxanne's an unfit mother. Is she broke? Does she live in a pitiful hovel in a bad part of town? Does she hang around any unsavory people? Yes! All of the above! Good, good. Wait, were you asking about me, or Roxanne? Crumple. Crumple. Ok. Plan B. Has she been spotted with Al-Qaida?
     
283. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-02 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-02 Pub. Date: 2009-06-02
Image Number: 34732
Caption: There's monsters under my bed. Well, that's because they think you're cute! When they see you they just want to party all the time and dance; and oh, look there they go, just-- Liberals who refer to the Bush Administration's enhanced interrogation techniques as "torture" are whiners. They just WHAT, daddy? Go tell Theo to call the exterminator.
     
284. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-28 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-28 Pub. Date: 2009-05-28
Image Number: 34377
Caption: Dear Annie, my father-in-law said I'm not man enough for his little girl. So I showed him one of my epithelial cells under extreme magnification and pointed out the Y chromosome. So what I want to know is, is there a non-surgical way to remove an atomic wedgie? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!
     
285. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-23 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-23 Pub. Date: 2009-05-23
Image Number: 33645
Caption: Your stride's too efficient. Your walk upright in a way that puts very little strain on your hips an' knees. Dr. C-Dog's biochemical analysis. $2. I can show you how to lurch around bow-legged so them baggy jeans don't fall down to your ankles no more. I do like baggy jeans. But I also kinda like not wearing out my hips and knees. You gotta sacrifice to make it to the top, son.
     
286. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-19 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-19 Pub. Date: 2009-05-19
Image Number: 33641
Caption: Hi Momma. …I know I didn't call you on Mother's Day last week. Aren't you proud. …Because you always told me not to fall for hustlers. And Mother's Day's nothing but one big hustle. There's only one PURE holiday, Momma. Only one holiday that isn't some scheme to waste money on cards and flowers. I'll call you on Groundhog Day. ...Hello?
     
287. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-18 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-18 Pub. Date: 2009-05-18
Image Number: 33640
Caption: Hello Momma, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm an awful son who always forgets Mother's Day. Please leave a guilt trip after the tone, and I'll get back to you when I've become a better man. Beep.
     
288. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-26 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-26 Pub. Date: 2009-04-26
Image Number: 31773
Caption: 1982. Why you talk so white? You think you better than me? It's ok, baby. Don't pay those kids any mind. You have the right - the obligation - to be true to yourself. You don't have to be like everyone else. It doesn't matter how you say, it only matters what you say. Always remember, baby: If you're educated, talk like you're educated. "Speak" like you're educated, not "talk" like you're educated, momma. Don't you get smart with me.
     
289. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-23 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-23 Pub. Date: 2009-04-23
Image Number: 31770
Caption: The Law Guy. So, you're suing your fiancee for custody of your illegitimate son. Lionel's not "illegitimate." "Illegitimate" means "not in accordance with accepted standards or rules." Nearly 40% of kids are now born out of wedlock. That makes it pretty "accepted" if you ask me. No wonder you've got relationship problems. You're contentious. I disagree.
     
290. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-22 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-22 Pub. Date: 2009-04-22
Image Number: 31769
Caption: Anyway, I should go, Susan. I'm talking with a lawyer. I'm suing Roxanne for custody of Lionel. Yeah, really … The lawyer? An ad on Gregs-List.org. …Well he looks legit enough. He's got degrees, a leather chair, glasses… …And it doesn't seem to faze him when people talk about him like he's not even there. That's a sign of character. Y'know, you say "dios mio" A LOT. Zzzzz.
     
291. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-18 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-18 Pub. Date: 2009-03-18
Image Number: 30975
Caption: I know what you and Roxanne are up to behind my back, Saxon. It's obvious. You grew up together. I see how you look at each other. You think you're my son's real father. And now to break us up, you're telling me Roxanne's an evil vampire who had your kid to fulfill an ancient prophecy that'll make her ruler of the world. It's the oldest trick in the book.
     
292. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-13 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-13 Pub. Date: 2009-03-13
Image Number: 30805
Caption: I don't believe my fiancée's a vampire who's plotting to use our own son to enslave the world. I'm not a fool, Saxon. You love her and you're trying to drive a wedge between us with these lies. But your mistake, Saxon, was using my son. That's where I draw the line, Saxon! This far, and no further! Sorry, took a potty break. Were you talking? Yes, and it was VERY FORCEFUL, that thing I said.
     
293. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-11 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-11 Pub. Date: 2009-02-11
Image Number: 29987
Caption: Here bruh, have a beer. I don't drink. Suit y'self. Look, I guess you know I brought you here to talk about Roxanne… …And how, for the sake of your son, you're marrying her even though she crushes your soul and drains the life out of you. I thought you didn't drink. So did I.
     
294. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-09 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-09 Pub. Date: 2009-01-09
Image Number: 29203
Caption: Whadya mean, "Don't answer that if it's your fiancée"? Why not? Well, um… See, them phone waves can cause a tumor. Don't be stupid. Hey Rox, what's up? KEEP YOUR DUMB-@#$ FRIENDS AWAY FROM ME! (Click). …And I may have accused her of lyin' about you bein' the father of her son.
     
295. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-06 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-06 Pub. Date: 2009-01-06
Image Number: 29200
Caption: WHAT?! I said, who your kid's REAL daddy… My boy Big L or former Senator John Edwards? And 'fore you answer, keep in mind you hooked up to a lie detector. Really? It looks more like a wire being held by some hoodlum in the shrubbery. My man Lysol a good judge a character. Buzzzz.
     
296. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-05 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-05 Pub. Date: 2009-01-05
Image Number: 29199
Caption: Why are you here? And why did you just clip that wire onto my finger? No reason. Say, yo' name Roxanne? You know it is. I'm the mother of your best friend's child. What is this? Just gettin' a baseline. A base… Say, this isn't some sort of lie detector test, is it? Don't be silly. Well... Ok... By the way, who yo' kid's REAL daddy? Buzzzzz.
     
297. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-02 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-02 Pub. Date: 2009-01-02
Image Number: 29095
Caption: Don’t you see, Big L, you usin' this kid to work out ya own issues. I don't think so. Yeah? Rewind, right quick: You said "I'm not gon' let LEMONT grow up without a father." So? So? YOUR name "Lemont." HIS name "Lionel." I'm not following. I seen enough Dr. Phil to know this spit ain't healthy.
     
298. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-01 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-01 Pub. Date: 2009-01-01
Image Number: 29094
Caption: Whether I'm Lemont's real dad or not, I love that little baby, and he loves me. No way I'm gonna let him grow up without a father. No way. Tsk… WE grew up without fathers. Exactly! And I don't want my kid having a 50% chance of becoming a menace to society. No offense. You gotta stop sayin' that if you ain't know what it mean.
     
299. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-31 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-31 Pub. Date: 2008-12-31
Image Number: 29093
Caption: All right, I'm off to see my son. Big L, ain't you forgettin' something? Oh yeah, diapers! Actually, I meant you forgot how, a couple of months back… …We caught some dude who might be yo' son REAL daddy sneakin' out yo' woman house. I have no memory of that. Man... denial like an art form with you. It's a gift really.
     
300. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-30 son 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-30 Pub. Date: 2008-12-30
Image Number: 29092
Caption: The crazy vegetarian chick won't let me take our son outside. Ever. It's like she's scared of the world. Well no more. Today, I take charge. I'm taking Lionel to the park. I'm giving the world to the next generation. That is my new year's resolution. I resolve to watch more TV.
     
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