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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about slowpokes.

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21. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-23 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-23 Pub. Date: 2011-11-23
Image Number: 89006
Caption: Slowpoke. The Free Speech Dimension. Going a step further in their crackdown on Occupy Wall Street protesters, Oakland police impose a new rule. From now on, protesters must limit their activities to the fourth dimension or higher. "Our new "Occu-Portal (tm) sends them to a place where they no longer impede traffic, pedestrians, or anyone's field of vision." Step into the portal or you're under arrest! I am the 99%. Activists disappear, only occasionally intersecting with the third dimension. Free the wage slaves. ? Meanwhile, in Washington ... So, I'll contribute to your campaign, senator, if you'll just - Do you hear chanting? Need not greed!
     
22. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-21 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 86596
Caption: Slowpoke. The frozen pizza industry successfully fought a rule requiring that school lunch pizza actually contain a significant about of tomato paste to count as a veggie. What's next in … The War on Vegetables. Finding ways to remove nutrients from food. We should stop looking for handouts from the food we eat. Formation of the Grease Party. The founding fathers loved cheesy fries! Gardening criminalized. Step away from the hydroponic tomatoes and come out with your hands up! But - but - they're MEDICINAL! Mass veggie burning. My kids won't be exposed to this filth!
     
23. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-21 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 89610
Caption: Slowpoke. Violent spin. A Palin aide claims that a map targeting democrats - including the recently-shot Gabrielle Giffords - doesn't who rifle sigh crosshairs, but surveyor sembols. Betha didn’t know I've got a thing for cartomagraphy! Clearly we are mistaken to erad violence into right-wing rhetoric! When senate candidate Sharron Angle (R - NV) called for "second amendment remedies" ... I mean we should all buy guns to help support the economy! It'll help small businesses and steelworkers! When REp. Michele Bachmann (R - MN) called for voters to be "armed and dangerous" over carbon credits ... I simply wanted them to have arms so they could call their elected officials in Washington! Together, we can put the global warming hoax in danger! When Giffords' tea party opponent ran an ad saying "Get on target for victory in November - Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office - shoot a fully automatic M-16 with Jesse Kelly" ... I just wanted to improve peoples. hand-eye coordination at the voting booth! Some of these ballots are so confusing, you need to be an expert marksman!
     
24. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-19 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-19 Pub. Date: 2011-11-19
Image Number: 89005
Caption: Slowpoke. True: A group recently gave out suits to Occupy Wall Street protesters, citing the need to "look sharp" while the world is watching. Before. I am the 99%. Rabble rouser! After I am the 99%. What an upstanding young man! We at Slowpoke propose a parallel movement: Unsuit Wall Street. For too long, professional attire has been lending a respectable veneer to radical economic ideas. No jobs program! Less banking regulation! What if these plutocrats dressed like the extremists they are? Mohawk made of Benjamins. Spikes made from foreclosed homes. Goldman Sachs. Hermes "class kickers (tm)". Then more Americans might get it ... Don't touch my bonus! To think we let these punks destroy the economy!
     
25. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-16 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-16 Pub. Date: 2011-11-16
Image Number: 89019
Caption: Slowpoke … And the U.N. has estimated that the planet's 7 billionth person will be born right about … now! Population boom! Wait - this just in! The 7 billionth person-to-be has just issued a statement! NNN. Nattering Noggins News. Speaking from an undisclosed gestation location, she says: "Even a pre-conscious proto-human such as myself knows your world is seriously fubared." Breaking: Angry baby. "I'm not even born yet, and I already have 300 industrial chemicals in my bloodstream, you piggish dolts." "There still probably won't be any jobs two decades from now." Furious fetus! "And if I do land some soul-sucking crap work, all the wealth I create will go to some selfish dipstick making 200 times more than me." "Honestly, why bother? Count me out! Or in, as the case may be. Signed, Baby 7B. Fumin' pre-human. In other news, presidential candidate Herman Cain has suggested that the wealthiest 1% be referred to as "your overlords."
     
26. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-14 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-14 Pub. Date: 2011-11-14
Image Number: 89609
Caption: Slowpoke. Fun with False Equivalence. Some readers complained that last week's cartoon focused only on violent right-wing rhetoric. In the spirit of fairness, we bring you examples of prominent progressives using such language.* Keith Olbermann. Welcome to tonight's countdown ... to armed revolution! Who will be in our crosshairs tonight? Stay tuned! Bernie Sanders, in a little-noticed line from his recent filibuster ... And if congress keeps the Bush tax cuts for the rich, I'm cleaning my guns and getting ready for the big show! Now, let's take a look at this pie chart ... Paul Krugman. It's time to water the tree of liberty with the blood of supply-side economists! Although it does seem like a waste of good ammunition! Rachel Maddow's machine gun social for gay marriage. Fire and M16 for equality! Marriage = 1 man + 1 woman. If ballots don't work, bullets will!
     
27. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-12 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-12 Pub. Date: 2011-11-12
Image Number: 89004
Caption: Slowpoke. Occupy Womb Street. Some have accused Republicans of ignoring unemployment as they focus instead on anti-abortion legislation. Ah, but we are working on a jobs bill, designed to help a group that's nearly 100% unemployed … "Introducing the Fetal Positions Act: For all those unborn Americans tragically forced into amniotic idleness." Will work for nutrient-rich blood. "Some companies won't even consider hiring a newborn with a nine-month employment gap." "Fortunately, there are many jobs suitable for the unborn. This blastocyst is making placental status-monitoring Android apps." Waste levels high. And by making abortions hard to get, we're creating further labor opportunities! Aaargh! So don't let anyone say the GOP isn't putting people to work!
     
28. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-07 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-07 Pub. Date: 2011-11-07
Image Number: 89608
Caption: Slowpoke. I hate the government! It never helps the little people - Only the Walls Street bankers! Has it occurred to you that any time the government tries to help ordinary Americans or regulate Wall Street, you call it tyrannical? Grr … You and your fancy smart talk! Don't tread on me! Actually, I don't have to ... AIG. Bank of America. Monsanto. Pharma. AHIP. Goldman Sachs.
     
29. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-05 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-05 Pub. Date: 2011-11-05
Image Number: 89003
Caption: Slowpoke. Protest Pointers with Rep. Eric Cantor. I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and other cities. Some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans. (Actual quotes). You occupiers could learn a thing or two from the Tea Party, which never pits Americans against each other! Gays are great. One love. Liberals are ok. Non-violent resistance is the way. No threat of armed rebellion here! Yay naturalized immigrants. But to exercise your free speech rights properly, I suggest you lose your silly signs altogether and incorporate. Wall Street Occupation Services, Ltd. "Home of the jumbo protest package(tm)." Then secretly funnel millions of dollars to a superpac, and have them attack your opponents through tv ads. Now THAT'S democracy! You do have millions of dollars ... don't you?
     
30. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-31 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-31 Pub. Date: 2011-10-31
Image Number: 89607
Caption: Slowpoke. True: Police departments are starting to buy small aerial drones for surveillance. Could aerial cops be far behind? Drop the beer now! Wh-what the hells is that? Soon, businesses jump on the bandwagon … Did you notice that Fluff-eaze fabric softener is on a 2-for-1 special? Yes, I did. Buff. Meaty Man ... And a right-to-bear-drones movement starts up ... The Founding Fathers believed in my freedom to own a predator drone equipped with hellfire missiles! Boosh! Woo-hoo! But the sudden preponderance of predators frightens some children ... Boom! Boom! It's okay, Tommy. They only kill kids in Pakistan and Afghanistan ... Usually.
     
31. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-30 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-30 Pub. Date: 2011-10-30
Image Number: 89002
Caption: Slowpoke. Red White & Blue Light Special. Instead of, say, taxing billionaires, the U.S. is considering selling off government assets to raise money. Here's a peek at items to be offered. Fracking rights to Mt. Rushmore. Gerald Ford's mysteriously-awesome record collection. Ohio Players. Property of Jerry F. Com Funk Shun. Found in the White House basement. Who knew the former prez like to go to Funkytown? Pentagon rented out for private parties. Hallways ideal for roller derbies. Presidential sperm bank. Have a baby with real Commander-in-Chief DNA.
     
32. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-24 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 89606
Caption: Slowpoke. Year of the Mombies. The "Protect Life Act," recently introduced in congress, says doctors can let a pregnant woman die if saving her life kills the fetus. Blastocyst = life. Fully-grown woman: Expendable fetus-mobile! But if pregnant women don't count among the living ... technically that makes them undead. Baby ... want ... Chunky ... Monkey ... Pick ... les ... Which raises important legal questions, such as: Do undead baby-incubator zombies need to pay taxes? Report all W-2 income UNLESS you are but a vessel for an actual human being. And clearly pregnancy tests will be required at the polls so that only living women vote: I'm afraid you'll have to pee on the stick, ma'am, before you can proceed to the voting booth.
     
33. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-23 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-23 Pub. Date: 2011-10-23
Image Number: 89001
Caption: Slowpoke. Killer Kleen. Researchers at the University of Washington recently found that dryer exhaust from scented laundry products contain several hazardous chemicals, including two carcinogens. It seems Americans' concept of "cleanliness" often involves making the world dirtier. Take that, leaf! Fecal matter. Allergens. Mold. Dust. Exhaust. Reeeeeee! Apparently if its invisible, it doesn't count. The fire makes my trash go away! (Still happens in some places). Yes, we have our priorities ass-backwards - literally. Pollution-eating forests. Butt Puff. Ultra-plush t.p. Ohh my!
     
34. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-17 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-17 Pub. Date: 2011-10-17
Image Number: 89605
Caption: Slowpoke. Uh-oh … The unpaid contributors are rioting! I need to eat, too! Freelancers are workers! No cushy "other" source of income here. Huffington Palace. Let the "content providers" whine. Mubarak may cave, but Arianna? Never!
     
35. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-10 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-10 Pub. Date: 2011-10-10
Image Number: 89604
Caption: Slowpoke. A Teachable Moment. Lessons for Wisconsin's governor. Math. If you take a hypothetical balanced budget and subtract $140 million in spending on your own dubious pet projects … 0 - 140,000,000 (equals) -140,000,000. You get a big negative number. Philosophy. If a governor intentionally causes a budget shortfall out of some king of "starve the beast" ideology, then it does not follow that public employees are to blame. That's illogical. History. Union-busting has a long history in the U.S., dating back to the industrial revolution. This is simply part of that time-tested strategy favored by moneyed elites. Note to self: After budget fight ends, revise school textbooks. Gov. Scott Walker.
     
36. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-09 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-09 Pub. Date: 2011-10-09
Image Number: 89000
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome back to Politics 101 with Professor Perkins. Today we'll be discussing the word "entitlements." This is an actual billboard spotted in Washington State. Should people collecting entitlements be allowed to vote? Note the two possible meanings of "entitlement." Entitlement programs. Your hard work is rewarded later. Sense of entitlement. Spoiled brat who thinks the world owes them something. Calling Social Security an entitlement invites this confusion. What is we called babies entitlements? Doctor, where's my son? Who do you think you are. The queen mother? Just because you gave birth to him doesn't mean your entitled to keep him! Next week: Should people who don't understand entitlements be allowed to vote?
     
37. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-29 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-29 Pub. Date: 2011-09-29
Image Number: 89289
Caption: Slowpoke. Obama cuts deal to live in tent. In a historic bipartisan compromise, President Obama has agreed to move into a tent on the White House lawn while senior GOP lawmakers occupy the White House. Base Camp One. "Speaking earlier at a press conference, the President sounded triumphant." I have always said the democratic party is a big tent, and now I'm putting that belief into practice. This is what happens when Congress works together for the good of the country! "Obama's new quarters will consist of a four-person tent for sleeping, and an oval-shaped tent for working. Now I can show my solidarity with America's growing population of canvas home-dwellers. Two Months Later. In order to cut the tent expenses from the federal budget, I've agreed to live in a box in the Nevada desert. Victory again!
     
38. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-26 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-26 Pub. Date: 2011-09-26
Image Number: 89294
Caption: Slowpoke. Some members of the working class just can't bring themselves to sympathize with Wisconsin's public employees. Why should you get to negotiate with your boss? I don’t get to bargain with mine! Welcome to the real world! Save Workers' Rights. It seems they want everyone's job to suck as much as theirs. If my boss catches me taking a bathroom break without clocking out, he dunks my head in the toilet and gives me a swirly. That's just how life is, whiny union babies! Those spoiled union brats, always pushing for things like safety standards! If I had any arms left, I'd punch 'em in the nose! Mightyfast Meatpacking. Meanwhile ... Ah, they've turned against each other now. Excellent. Time to launch the "Unions Hate You" ad campaign. Koch Industries.
     
39. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-19 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-19 Pub. Date: 2011-09-19
Image Number: 89295
Caption: Slowpoke. LADIES! Come on down to … Unplanned Parenthood. Pregnancy Centers, GOP-Style. Pregnant Teen? We've got … So you had a happy accident! Helpful Pamphlets. Coupons for maternity-sized prom dresses. Free lollipops! Sexual Assault Victim? Let our counselors help! Eggs fertilized by a rapist's sperm are people too! You were probably showing a little thigh, weren't you? We don't provide cervical screening ... But we DO offer Lesbian Screening! Do you find Rachel Maddow hot? I ... I kinda DO! And don't forget to check out our store! We've got books .. The Rhythm Method Cookbook. Recipes for Enormous Families. And emergency contra-contraception - if you've taken Plan B but changed your mind! Plan C.
     
40. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-12 slowpoke 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-12 Pub. Date: 2011-09-12
Image Number: 89282
Caption: Slowpoke. Sarah Palin and others like to call the Wisconsin teachers' union "thugs." Yes, these edu-gangsters are a menace to society, with their grammatically-correct threats … Would you like a piece of this? Detention slip. Even worse, sometimes they use "Godfather"-inspired tactics to send a message to their enemies. Aaaaah! Biology lab frog in a pool of formaldehyde. In some cases, entire classrooms are merely fronts for black-market dealing. I've got 1,000 bootleg copies of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Shh ... Only they know what secrets lie buried in the playground. What happened here, Miss Sprinkle? Oh, don't you worry about it!
     
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