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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:     (17 images)


1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2018-11-05 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-11-05 Pub. Date: 2018-11-05
Image Number: 174895
Caption: Get off my precinct! It started with carving up weird-shaped districts to minimize the impact of democratic voters. Congressional district or deep sea sponge? 2019: The supreme court approves individual microdistricts for conservative voters. Each gets a concierge congressperson. Get off my precinct! Microdistricts enjoy luxurious mobile voting services. Plushpolls. Equal the votes of 10,000 brown people! AS for everyone else, welcome to purge-atory! Sorry, sir. I'm afraid you're too Native American. Vote here.
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-10 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-10 Pub. Date: 2017-07-10
Image Number: 160460
Caption: Welcome to Camp Suburbia or, "Getting Away with it All." Seen in real life: A woman emerging from a giant RV to use a weedwhacker on her campsite. RRRR. Soon we'll see campers using landscaping services. Reeeee. KOA HOA. Peaceful Pines Campground. Why have a carbon footprint when you can have a carbon assprint? Walden. Stop. Recreational McMansion coming through! An, the rustic life! *SigH*
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-29 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 140038
Caption: The New Normal. The country has gone off the deep end, and it's mostly business as usual. Republicans say Obama can't nominate anyone to the Supreme Court. Punditspew. This will be quite a game of hardball! Things keep getting weirder, but we still treat the election as a horse race. And today the GOP frontrunner fired rubber bullets into a crowd of cheering fans! Even the people who were hit LOVED it! That'll play well in Plano! Sometimes it seems like nothing will break the facade. I will abolish the IRS and see revenue solely through plunder! Perkins is controversial, but his message is winning! Perkins 2020. Are there ANY limits to this farce? I will not deploy my army of nanobots into the bloodstreams of the non-white. Hmm ... that's a little extreme. Careful! Let's not violate the new libel laws!
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-09 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-09 Pub. Date: 2015-11-09
Image Number: 135153
Caption: Thanks to a Supreme Court ruling, companies have quietly added language to contracts the effectively ends people's right to sue. Fine print no one has time to read. We may elect to resolve claim by arbitration. Our justice system is being replaced with a private, corporate-friendly alternative. The people judging these cases are often friends of the company! Eh, if it's not about goofy politicians or sex, I don't care. What if ordinary citizens were given the legal powers corporations now have? Before you hire me, you must sign this agreement to appear in a secret court judged by my homies. Our fine print would be awesome. Disputes: The fat cats at Globoplundimaxx agree to reimburse me for any erroneous charges x 1,000 plus $1 million to my mom for her judging services, plus a bowl of M&M's with the green ones removed under penalty of ... Damn arbitration clauses!
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-08-11 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 115114
Caption: Getting Burned. The GOP recently blocked emergency funding for fighting raging wildfires in the west. Live. Washington State. Eh, we'd have to offset the cost … Hey, time for a month-long vacation! Now the forest service must borrow from the Wildfire Prevention Fund. Only you can prevent forest fires. Smokey. No, seriously. Only you. I'm out of cash. It's like the Republican healthcare plan for America's wilderness areas. Who needs preventative care when you can always go to the "emergency room"? Reacting to crises after they happen: It's how we roll. You know, we're going to have more droughts and wildfires if we don't deal with global w - I can't hear you over this drilling equipment! RRRR!
     
6. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-03-03 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-03-04 Pub. Date: 2014-03-03
Image Number: 108448
Caption: Free to Chew. Some conservatives would allow businesses to refuse services on the grounds of "religious freedom." No shoes. No shirt. No heterosexuality. No service. Funny how the concept of "freedom" applies to business owners but now customers … I just want the freedom to get a @#!* sandwich. ... Or birth-control needing employees. It's my sincerely-held belief that my ovulation cycle should be free from my boss's pre-enlightenment worldview. Maybe these laws should be the other way around. Not-Gay Donuts. Closed for violations of human dignity. No respect, no tolerance, no business!
     
7. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-02-18 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-02-19 Pub. Date: 2013-02-18
Image Number: 93809
Caption: Postal Service Of The Future. Here comes the mailbot! Finally. Remember when mail came six days a week instead of one? Oh yes, before Congress forced PRIVATIZATION … Those were the days! No contracts, not delivery fees, no excess mail charges … Close your eyes! Mail service commencing. Mail Master 8000. BOOM! Letter Lobber 9000. Chomp! ... No piles of ads for other mail services ... Compu-Carrier 9500. Pure Postal! Try Mail-Woo! Zip-e Post. Wiz-Delivery Sack-o-Mail.
     
8. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-21 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-22 Pub. Date: 2013-01-21
Image Number: 92735
Caption: Lance's Harsh Landing. What if Lance Armstrong's troubles forced him to live like the rest of us? I don't care how fast you can bike up the Pyrenees - How fast can you process customer service calls? I'm sorry, sir, but with your history of drug use, I'm afraid we can't offer you health insurance. Well, without any sponsorships, it looks like you can only afford this used Schwinn fixie. On the bright side, you'll be a total hipster! Guess it's back to just watching Oprah on tv like everybody else ...
     
9. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-12-20 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-12-20 Pub. Date: 2011-12-20
Image Number: 89018
Caption: Slowpoke. Mr. & Mrs. Perkins Go Gift Shopping 2011. It's going to be hard to top the Englebert Humperdinck retrospective we got for Auntie Perkins last year. Let's go in here! The 1% Chef. The 1% Chef. The only kitchen products not made in China. Look! Here's a saucepan hand-forged by rustic peasant women in Provence! $4,000. Das egg. And a $500 egg separator made from decommissioned German tanks! The Data Mine Electronics. All products now embedded with carrier IQ spyware! As seen on your Smartphone. Acme Biometrics. How about this place? I find their customer service a bit intrusive. The Holiday Minimalist. "It's the thought that counts." This year, give a conceptual gift: an empty box. Gift. Gift. Let's just go with fruitcake!
     
10. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-05 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-05 Pub. Date: 2011-11-05
Image Number: 89003
Caption: Slowpoke. Protest Pointers with Rep. Eric Cantor. I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and other cities. Some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans. (Actual quotes). You occupiers could learn a thing or two from the Tea Party, which never pits Americans against each other! Gays are great. One love. Liberals are ok. Non-violent resistance is the way. No threat of armed rebellion here! Yay naturalized immigrants. But to exercise your free speech rights properly, I suggest you lose your silly signs altogether and incorporate. Wall Street Occupation Services, Ltd. "Home of the jumbo protest package(tm)." Then secretly funnel millions of dollars to a superpac, and have them attack your opponents through tv ads. Now THAT'S democracy! You do have millions of dollars ... don't you?
     
11. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-10-31 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-10-31 Pub. Date: 2010-10-31
Image Number: 89902
Caption: Slowpoke. Bolstering accusations of sexual harassment, multiple witnesses have arrested to Clarence Thomas's porn obsession. Now you can experience it for yourself my joining the … Clarence Thomas Video Club. Community Service. Her sentence is … Servicing him! Anita's Hills Have Eyes. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Strict Construction. She wore her leather so tight, there was only one possible interpretation! Spread Eagle and Barely Legal. Censored. They make him proud to be an American. He's the Boss. Putting the "ass" in harassment! The Scales of Justice. I think this one makes a stronger case!
     
12. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-10 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-10 Pub. Date: 2010-05-10
Image Number: 90118
Caption: Slowpoke. Lots of public service ads use scare tactics to discourage teen pregnancy. We at Slowpoke suggest a positive approach … Welcome, everyone, to the first annual THANK-A-CONDOM FEST! With me is Jim E. Hatt, who will accept the honors on behalf of all prophylactics! Hi, kids! Thanks! Speakers would share inspirational stories ... I'm about to graduate from college std-and-baby-free, and I owe everything to Mr. Hatt and his rubbery ilk! Aw, shucks! An award would be given ... Without you, my night with that hot piece of Italian beefcake would not have been possible. Please accept this golden booty for all your hard work. Just doing my job. ... Followed by a keynote address. As one of our great forecondoms once said, ask not what protection your partner can offer you ... But what you can offer your partner! Thanks!
     
13. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-03 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-03 Pub. Date: 2010-05-03
Image Number: 90117
Caption: Slowpoke. "Better Stoned Than Boned." January 2011. Today, several states announced to follow California's lead in legalizing marijuana. The reason, according to elected officials, is "so voters don’t notice how much things SUCK." Eyeball Witness News. Let's face it. There are still no jobs, the state is broke, and I'm up for re-election. May as well get folks high as a Georgia pine. State Sen. Chester Wadd (R-GA). Augusta Extra-sticky. "In Arizona, politicians are hoping voters will be too baked to care about cuts in public services, such as the shuttering of highway rest stops." It's all good, man. I'll just to in my pants again. CLOSED. NEXT TOILET 420 mi. High Times. That November ... I'm here reporting live from the polls, where exactly ONE person has shown up to vote. Tell us, who will be our next governor? Governor? I thought I was ordering curly fries!
     
14. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-03-15 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-03-15 Pub. Date: 2010-03-15
Image Number: 90486
Caption: Slowpoke. Hi, Drooly Julie here. It seems some readers completely missed the sarcasm of last weeks strip. Snow disproves global warming?! I will never read your comic again, you ignorant butthead. "As a service to the humor-impaired, we at Slowpoke have decided to provide sarcasm alerts TM from now on." What can I say? I didn't see this once coming at all. A SNOWSTORM! Can't argue with that. ALERT! Not something Hansen would ever say! Dr. James Hansen, NASA. "We'll even add alerts to our past strips as well!" Obama will stop hospitals from issuing birth certificates so terrorists' demon spawn can become President in 2045. ALERT! Also not true! We'd like to thank those perceptive readers for bringing this important matter to our attention. ALERT! Sarcasm again!
     
15. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-03-02 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-03-02 Pub. Date: 2009-03-02
Image Number: 91006
Caption: Slowpoke. Mr. Perkins vs. The Recession. Dear Diary, As you know, I was laid off from the comic strip last week. The hunt for a new job is not going well. First I tried trolling for prawns on a fishing vessel. Pay was on a per-prawn basis. All I caught was a soggy old soft-cushioned toilet seat. But it didn't matter. In the afternoon, the prawn market crashed and I was laid off. Next I took a position assisting with pug insemination. But the stud services company had invested with Bernie Madoff. I was laid off. In an act of desperation, I tried out for a bit part in Beetle Bailey. Miss Buxley! I've got a package for the General! But the whole strip got outsourced to a sixteen year-old in Korea. The next day ... Slowpoke wants to hire me back at half my former pay and publish my diaries. Huzzah!
     
16. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-12-15 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-12-15 Pub. Date: 2008-12-15
Image Number: 91000
Caption: Slowpoke. New Public Works Projects. Obama has promised to stimulate the economy with new jobs. We will rebuild our nation's infrastructure and work toward energy independence. Here are some lower-priority programs he may also want to consider. Laugh track services. A team accompanies you on social outings to laugh at your jokes. So I said, "Give me the cheese and pull your pants up!" HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! LTS. LTS. LTS. putting up billboards to educate the woefully ignorant. Did you know? There are 3 branches of government. Huh! Expanding the sound effects stockpile for drive-time radio DJ's. BOI-OI-YOING! A truly advanced nation has a vast array of boings to choose from! Development of automatic flush toilets that actually work. WHOOSH! AUUGH! Back to the drawing board.
     
17. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 service 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92658
Caption: Slowpoke. The Oval Office. Sigh. … Look at all this bad news. At this rate, I'll lose the election. AWOL. NO WMDS IN IRAQ. JOBLESS RECOVERY. KERRY LEADS BUSH IN POLLS. How can I make all this frowny-talk go away? Excuse me, Mr. President - It sounds like you need GAY-BAN TM! Guaranteed to make that political dirt disappear! Gay-Ban? How does it work? Just spray it at your next press conference - you'll see! GAY-BAN. Warning: Toxic Ideology. Shortly ... Mr. President! Can you explain why you did community service in 1972? Mr. President! What's your plan now that you've retracted your prediction of 2.6 million new jobs? Gay Ban, do your thing! PSHHT! Koff! And so ... You were right! Gay-Ban works like a charm! Nation Divided Over Gay Marriage. Election to Hinge on Gay Issue. Culture War. Constitution to Change. But of course! It's from the makes of Race-Bait TM!
     
Result page:     (17 images)