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Candorville

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141. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-09 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-09 Pub. Date: 2006-12-09
Image Number: 15508
Caption: Clyde, Kramer black folks the n-word is old news. That was three weeks ago. Dawg … you been workin' for the mainstream media two months, an' already you' attention span be all gone. Guess what I just heard about Britney Spears? Focus, son. Focus.
     
142. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-12-08 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-12-08 Pub. Date: 2006-12-08
Image Number: 15507
Caption: Man, race is such a complicated issue. Yeah. Maybe someday we'll figure out how to talk about it without tearing each other apart. Yeah. As soon as you people learn to talk about it the right way.
     
143. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-11 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-14 Pub. Date: 2006-11-11
Image Number: 15268
Caption: Sometimes I wonder why we even bother voting, Susan. It's rigged. If it's not the machines, it's the long lines. Or the uncounted absentee votes. Or them falsely accusing you of being a felon, or whatever. In a million different ways, the party in power can choose to just not count your vote. So what's the point? Where else is a grown-up going to get a sticker? K-Mart!
     
144. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-05 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-08 Pub. Date: 2006-11-05
Image Number: 15187
Caption: Vote Here. Inner City Precinct 2000A. Place ballots here.
     
145. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-06 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-08 Pub. Date: 2006-11-06
Image Number: 15188
Caption: The city painted the crosswalk so you'll cross at the corner, Clyde. The C-Dog cross where he wanna cross, son! Can't stop me! People want you not to dress like a thug so they won't be scared of you. The C-Dog dress how he wanna dress, son! Can't stop me! I wish you'd speak proper English. The C-Dog talk how he wanna talk, son! Can't stop me! The Republican party will do everything it can to discourage you from voting tomorrow. Ok.
     
146. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-07 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-08 Pub. Date: 2006-11-07
Image Number: 15189
Caption: Liebold. Dear Heavenly Father, I your humble servant, am running for Mayor. No matter who people vote for, these electronic voting machines will say I've won. Heavenly father, if what I'm doing is wrong, please give me a sign. Any sign. Any sign but that one, Heavenly Father. Hey! Hey!
     
147. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-02 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-06 Pub. Date: 2006-11-02
Image Number: 15098
Caption: Dear Hispanic voter, It is a crime for legal immigrants such as yourself to vote. If you vote, you will be jailed and deported. Your children will be fed to wolves, and you will burn in Hell for all eternity. Sincerely, The Nonpartisan League of Completely Nonpartisan People. Something's fishy here. P.S. - If you were planning on voting Republican, please disregard this letter.
     
148. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-11-03 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-06 Pub. Date: 2006-11-03
Image Number: 15099
Caption: Meanwhile, across town … Good news, the electronic voting machines are in place. We're in, Reverend -- I mean, "Mr. Mayor." I don't know about this, Mr. Yavelli. Call me Mack. This feels wrong, Mack. Rev, doesn't the Lord work in mysterious ways? Of course. Well, these machines are pretty mysterious. It's just like when the big guy gave Jonah the Ark. Noah. Whatever.
     
149. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-13 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-17 Pub. Date: 2006-10-13
Image Number: 14974
Caption: Working for the mainstream media is tough. So much pressure to come up with stories. Oh, dear lord, what do I write about? Must … have …. story …. by deadline. Across town … So you’re saying no matter who a voter picks for mayor these machines will say I've won the election? Liebold. Ah! I've got it! Paris Hilton said something stupid today .... tap tap tap.
     
150. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-05 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-16 Pub. Date: 2006-10-05
Image Number: 14808
Caption: We're revoking your church's tax-exempt status because you actively campaigned against President Bush. In 2004, you said Jesus would condemn the Iraq war or any preemptive war. No, I didn't. And you then you said, and I quote, "Jesus loves peace." I would never say such a thing! Clearly an anti-bush tirade.
     
151. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-06 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-16 Pub. Date: 2006-10-06
Image Number: 14809
Caption: You violated federal tax law when you condemned the President's politics in 2004. But I never did that. In fact, in '04, I gave a sermon called "Jesus wants you to vote for President Bush." You … Wait, aren't you Reverend Bacon on Wilfred Street. No, I'm Reverend Wilfred, on Bacon Street. Oopsy. My bad. Keep up the good work.
     
152. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-07 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-16 Pub. Date: 2006-10-07
Image Number: 14810
Caption: I'm sick of liberals like that Colin Powell whining about the President torturing people. Who cares if the torture keeps giving us faulty information? I don't hear bleeding-heart liberals proposing a better way to get people to tell us whatever they think we want to hear whether it's true or not. What?
     
153. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-02 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-02 Pub. Date: 2006-10-02
Image Number: 14805
Caption: Maverick republican senators forced Bush to compromise on his torture bill! Huh? They were really vague. They said he can't torture people, but they didn't define "torture." For the most past they left if up to the president to decide what is and isn't torture. How can you call that a "compromise"? Hello? Let's talk about Tom Cruise.
     
154. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-28 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-28 Pub. Date: 2006-09-28
Image Number: 14802
Caption: Yom fool! Like rap? Yeah, I like rap. Well buy my CD, son! Support independent rappers, son! Don't give you' money to the big corporate labels … They nothin' but rich white boys perpetuating the plantation system, whereby and ergo the black rapper gets next to nothin' from his own work. Is your music any good? That's beside the point, #$%^.
     
155. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-27 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-29 Pub. Date: 2006-08-27
Image Number: 14527
Caption: Hi, I'm Mel Gibson. You may have heard about my recent drunk driving arrest. I didn't really mean it when I said the Jews cause all the wars in the world, or when I creepily asked my arresting officer "Are you a Jew?" I would like to take this opportunity to apologize in person to the Jewish people. I hope to someday earn their forgiveness , and I ask for their help in this time of healing. Ok, but what are you doing here? Aren't you Murray Kleinman, apartment 3B? Lemont Brown. 3A. Dang. I apologize for any crazy @#$% I may someday say about the blacks. Ok. We get it. You're sincere. Can I go back to bed now.
     
156. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-08 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-08 Pub. Date: 2006-08-08
Image Number: 14298
Caption: Why should I call the Chronicle for a job? What if I don't sound impressive on the phone? They reprinted an article from my blog without asking my permission! What if I talk them out of like me? I mean, that's just wrong. Unprincipled! I'll just screw it all up. You are impressive, they will like you, and you won't screw it up. Lady, we spend too much time together.
     
157. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-10 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-19 Pub. Date: 2006-07-10
Image Number: 14170
Caption: June 29, 2006. In other news, the Supreme Court has ruled that the President cannot do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, even if he says we're engaged in an endless war. You ever had déjà vu? July 4, 1776. What ho! The Continental Congress hath decreed that the King cannot do whatsoever he wanteth, whenever he wanteth, even if he sayeth the empire is engaged in an endless war.
     
158. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-03 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-03
Image Number: 13931
Caption: But I do have a job. Blogging from home isn't a job, Lemont. A job is when you put on a suit, get a bagel and coffee and ride the subway with stinky people at 8AM to a stuffy building with your boss calls you" sweetheart" and then gives your promotion to a less-qualified man. Is there something you want to talk about, Susan? Spoken just like a man.
     
159. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-06-05 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-06-08 Pub. Date: 2006-06-05
Image Number: 13933
Caption: In other news, Congress is accusing the executive branch of violating the separation of powers. 'Bout time. Is this about the 750 laws the White House ignored? Is this about their imprisoning folks in secret jails without trials, or spying on Americans without a warrant? Congress demands the Justice Department stop searching the offices of Congressmen accused on taking bribes.
     
160. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-26 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-30 Pub. Date: 2006-05-26
Image Number: 13825
Caption: Y'know what? I'm glad the government is spying on hundreds of millions of domestic phone calls. It's about time someone kept us safe from ourselves. I mean, for all I know, I might be a terrorist! I've always felt I was kinds suspicious.
     
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