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Candorville

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-25 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-25 Pub. Date: 2009-01-25
Image Number: 29572
Caption: I'm tired of people comparing anti-gay laws to bigotry against Black folks. I mean, WE faced slavery and lynchings and beatings. Sure, gays have been beaten and killed for centuries, slaughtered in the Holocaust, and denied equal rights and everything, but that's just not the same. If it were all that bad, they'd have had their own miniseries by now. Say what? Where's the gay "Roots"? You just don't see it. Until I see the gay Kunta Kinte on my TV, I refuse to take any of this seriously.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-18 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-18 Pub. Date: 2009-01-18
Image Number: 29379
Caption: No caption. (Barack Obama takes the oath of office from Justice Thurgood Marshall as Martin Luther King, Jr. stands to watch. They are surrounded by slaves as well as leaders of the civil rights movement and others who contributed to the advancement of the cause of racial equality.)
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-02 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-02 Pub. Date: 2008-12-02
Image Number: 28418
Caption: What are you doing?! It's called "eating." But that's MY lunch. Well you weren't eating it. I was in the bathroom. For like a minute. What gives you the right?! ANSWER ME. With my mouth full? That would just be rude.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-19 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-19 Pub. Date: 2008-11-19
Image Number: 28120
Caption: Taking rights away from the gays is NOT the same as bigotry against black folks! You choose to be gay, you don't choose to be black! Let's say you're right… You choose your religion, too. If I took away rights only from Catholics, would that be bigotry? Well, I'm not Catholic, so no. It wouldn't be.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-18 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-18 Pub. Date: 2008-11-18
Image Number: 28119
Caption: So, you voted for Obama as the realization of Dr. King's dream that we'd all be judged by who we are, not what we are… Check. …and that all of us would have equal rights. Check. And then you voted to take equal rights away from gay people. Check. And you don't see any shameful irony in that. Check.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-04 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-04 Pub. Date: 2008-11-04
Image Number: 27819
Caption: So whatchoo doin' here, blood? I'm a journalist sent to cover the rescue of John McCain's lost honor. No, I mean whatchoo doin' here. This here the Starbucks at the end o' the world. Nothin' can find this place unless it's lost. Or abandoned. You mean "No one," right? Pass the chocolate espresso beans. The right to vote.
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-02 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-02 Pub. Date: 2008-11-02
Image Number: 27644
Caption: Liebold. President: Barack Obama. Thank you for voting for Fritz Golem. What the--? CANCEL. President: Barack Obama. Thank you for voting for Fritz Golem. Who the @#$% is Fritz Golem?! I am Fritz Golem. Your new lord and master. YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR DEMOCRACY TO ME. YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR FREE WILL. YOU WILL BRING ME A HAZELNUT LATTE FROM STARBUCKS. I won't set foot in Starbucks for anyone. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-26 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-26 Pub. Date: 2008-10-26
Image Number: 27604
Caption: Hello young, low-income, or minority voter. Don't forget to vote this Saturday. You mean TUESDAY. And remember, if you're a student and your parents claimed you as a dependent, you're ineligible to vote… Huh? That's a lie. …And if you do vote, you'll lose your financial aid and health insurance. You're crazy. If you haven't paid your taxes and you vote, you'll be audited. Ok, that's it. Get lost. SLAM! If you have a Spanish surname and you try to vote, you might be deported to Cuba. Millions of minorities, elderly, poor, and injured veterans have been accidentally electrocuted by voting machines. ...Just sayin'. I'M NOT LISTENING!
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-12 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-12 Pub. Date: 2008-10-12
Image Number: 27225
Caption: Let's play house. You pretend the bank foreclosed on your home, and I'll challenge your right to vote 'cause you no longer have a local address.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-22 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-22 Pub. Date: 2008-08-22
Image Number: 26017
Caption: The guys watch the Olympics. Well, Brian, that was hardly a surprise. For a second it looked like the U.S. might pull an upset by denying "enemy combatants" proper trials. But China still reigns supreme in the "Denying People Their Rights" event. Well who would compete with harvesting prisoners' organs? China big pimpin'.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-21 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-21 Pub. Date: 2008-08-21
Image Number: 26016
Caption: The guys watch the Olympics. Look at China go! They really have no competition in the "Denying People Their Rights" event. Wait! Team America is surging! Locking people in Guantanamo without access to lawyers! Uh oh… America stumbles! The Supreme Court rules they actually do have rights. WAAIT! THE PENTAGON SAYS EVEN IF A PRISONER'S FOUND "NOT GUILTY," THEY MIGHT NOT RELEASE HIM! WHAT A RECOVERY!
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-20 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-20 Pub. Date: 2008-08-20
Image Number: 26015
Caption: The guys watch the Olympics. Stunning, just stunning. I've never seen this before in my life. Who would've though a 195-way tie was possible? Every single country in the world is taking home the gold in the "Supporting Genocide" event. Well, Brian, they're all letting the Darfur genocide happen. What else is on?
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-19 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-19 Pub. Date: 2008-08-19
Image Number: 26014
Caption: The guys watch the Olympics. Look at Team China go! Well, this isn't really a surprise. China pretty much OWNS the "Committing or Supporting Genocide" event. That event used to be wide open. The U.S. was once a top contender, until teams like Turkey, Japan and Germany overtoo- WAIT! The U.S. is gaining! 1 million may be dead in Iraq! No, wait, we tried to stop that; but it still may warrant a bronze.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-30 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-30 Pub. Date: 2008-05-30
Image Number: 23767
Caption: I still say "gay marriage must be stopped"… ..but my heart's not really in it anymore. It's almost as if I'm too busy worrying about the fact I'm losing my home, my job and my health insurance. When I said bring in your significant other, I meant your wife. It's like me and my boogeyman are just going through the motions. Y.M.C.A.!
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-29 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-29 Pub. Date: 2008-05-29
Image Number: 23766
Caption: I'm not gay, I swear. I didn't really divorce my wife and marry Lance the mailman. I made it all up to illustrate how letting gays marry destroys traditional marriage and makes people gay. Lilly and I are still happily married. Repeat that part. It destroys traditional marriage. The other part. It makes people gay?
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-27 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-27 Pub. Date: 2008-05-27
Image Number: 23764
Caption: You left your wife and married Lance the mailman? I had no choice. California legalized gay marriage. Obviously, that meant traditional marriage must die, and we must all turn gay. So instead of waiting for the inevitable, I figured I'd just get it over with now. Some people will do anything to prove a point. Don't tell Lance about me and Arnold.
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-26 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-26 Pub. Date: 2008-05-26
Image Number: 23763
Caption: See, I was right all along! Letting gays marry ruins the whole institution of marriage! The California Supreme Court ruled that gays can marry just two weeks ago… …and already, I've left my wife and kids and married Lance, the mailman. Say what? @#$% activist judges made me gay.
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-09 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-09 Pub. Date: 2008-05-09
Image Number: 23409
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. Mr. Humphrey, what did you mean by that? My good friends, I'm just saying that if I heard Martin Luther King Jr. say America "may go to hell"… I wouldn't have described King as a man of "love" and "justice." I am by no means implying that THIS MEANS MY OPPONENT, ROBERT F. KENNEDY, SECRETLY HATES AMERICA.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-08 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-08 Pub. Date: 2008-05-08
Image Number: 23354
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. What voters demand to know… …is why Democratic Presidential Candidate Robert F. Kennedy hasn't distanced himself from Reverend Martin Luther King Jr… …who recently described America as "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today." Let's ask Kennedy's opponent, Hubert Humphrey, for an unbiased assessment. My good friends, this is troubling...
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-07 rights 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-07 Pub. Date: 2008-05-07
Image Number: 23353
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. America is outraged by Martin Luther King Jr., who recently said this… "We've committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world but God has a way of even putting nations in their place. Wolf, I don't think it's fair to form an opinion of a man based on a 10-second clip. Well, in fairness, Mr. Abernathy... ...we've played that clip 9,000 times, so it's more like a 25-hour clip. What?
     
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