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Candorville

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Result page:    2   (20 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-14 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-14 Pub. Date: 2018-10-14
Image Number: 174287
Caption: My friend Miranda asked me what I thought of the outfit she was going to wear to Burning Man. It was very, very … revealing. How did that make you feel? Like she was toying with me. She made it clear twenty years ago that she just wanted to be friends. But here she was showing me something that she had to know would poke my furnace. You mean stoke your furnace. No, I mean poke. My furnace has been stoked since Freshman year -- it took me years to get that down from a raging inferno to a barely perceptible glow. I see. I think. So I juggled the furnace door to make sure it was locked, and then I stood there wondering if she was poking the coals to reignite them, or poking the coals to make sure they were dead. Or, maybe she just wanted a furnace's opinio -- can we not talk in metaphors? I'm confused. I welded shut the furnace door and turned on the A.C. just to be safe.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-30 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-30 Pub. Date: 2017-01-30
Image Number: 153971
Caption: This just in: President Trump has forbidden federal agencies from revealing information to the pub … Click … Toxic waste from an unknown source in neighboring Canardville may have leached into the Candorville reservoir, so do not … Click … May be an indication that the sun has exploded, but we won't detect it visually for another 8 minutes and 20 seconds. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... Mun mun mun -
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-06 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142722
Caption: If the sleeping pills I prescribed for you don't work, I want you to try guided meditation. You'll close your eyes and imagine yourself rising into the warm heavens. The worry and anxiety in your face melts away. Focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. Imagine that darkness turning into outer space. The stars beckon you to join them. You float to them. You become one with them. That's when the great truth of the universe reveals itself to you, and you learn ... we're out of time. That'll be $100. OH COME ON!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-25 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-25 Pub. Date: 2014-11-25
Image Number: 119345
Caption: What's on your Netflix playlist says everything about you. Wait … what's on your Amazon wish list says everything about you. On the other hand, maybe what's in your iTunes playlist says everything about you. I bed Sigmund Freud's iTunes playlust would've been full of smutty songs. "Playlist." What'd I say?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-09 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-09 Pub. Date: 2014-09-09
Image Number: 116184
Caption: Turns out all them celebrities' nekkit photos got hacked 'cause they used weak passwords an' security questions. They public figures. I bet some of they answers was stuff anyone could Google. For instance … … Anyone who Google YOU know YOUR favorite color be "hot pink," Big L. SHAMROCK GREEN, not "hot pink." Noted. ... I mean "oh."
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-01 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-01 Pub. Date: 2013-05-01
Image Number: 96488
Caption: Tyrone, listen closely … there's one secret I've never, EVER told another living soul. The secret is … … that I love building up suspense. STOP THAT. (Originally published 2011-07-27).
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-27 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-27 Pub. Date: 2011-07-27
Image Number: 63735
Caption: Tyrone, listen closely … there's one secret I've never, EVER told another living soul. The secret is … … that I love building up suspense. STOP THAT.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-09 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-09 Pub. Date: 2009-03-09
Image Number: 30801
Caption: Do you think I'm crazy, Lemont? N-YES. What I've seen would drive any other dude bat-spit insane, but not me. I'm gonna crack you in the head any second now. What?! Why did I-- --Tell me the truth? Why can't you flee? I spiked your beer with truth serum and an ancient paralytic enzyme. Ok, maybe I'm a teensy bit crazy. I actually liked "Sex and the City." D'oh!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-06 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-06 Pub. Date: 2008-05-06
Image Number: 23352
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. Martin Luther King, Jr. is condemning America's violent foreign policy? Only one thing to do about that. Yeah. Ask ourselves if his critiques are factually correct, and if so, take action to remedy the problem he's revealed. I was gonna say "tar and feather him and make politicians apologize for knowing him," but your idea's good too.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-12-19 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-12-19 Pub. Date: 2007-12-19
Image Number: 20783
Caption: Um, Lem-Lem? When I was all fuzzy-headed on painkillers… …did I, um… did I say… anything? 'cause if I did, it's not true, and you'd be a fool to believe it. Whatever. How dare you interrogate the afflicted!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-01 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-02 Pub. Date: 2007-07-01
Image Number: 17788
Caption: I don't like high definition.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-03 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-03 Pub. Date: 2007-04-03
Image Number: 16674
Caption: When you proposed to Roxanne, words was said, things was done, an' you made a decision. Big L, you gotta tell Susan. If there's anyone in this whole crazy world you gotta tell, it's Susan, an' for the love of God, it's gotta be RIGHT NOW. Um… is there something you're not telling me? Why do you ask?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-04-02 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-04-02 Pub. Date: 2007-04-02
Image Number: 16673
Caption: Look here, Big L., you gotta tell Susan what happened that night you proposed to that crazy vegetarian chick. Can't. Every time I try, she interrupts me as if she doesn't want to know. You mean you LET her in interrupt you as if you don't want to tell. Wow. That's actually deep, Clyde. %@#$! I'm slippin'.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-21 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-22 Pub. Date: 2007-01-21
Image Number: 15877
Caption: Remember how you were telling me about public amazonoble.com wish lists? Where friends could see what you want and buy it for you with just a couple clicks? That sure was interesting. Y'know Amazonoble also lets you set up private lists that only you can see, called "Buy This Later," Lists where you can also add embarrassing stuff like fungus cream and wart remover or "Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks." Wouldn't it be awful if someone were to press the wrong button and all that private stuff showed up on that's person's wish list? Um, 'sauce me. I've got something to do. Wouldn't it be awful if someone had printed that list out?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-17 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-07-18 Pub. Date: 2006-07-17
Image Number: 14177
Caption: In other news, congressional leaders are condemning the Candorville Chronicle for reporting that American troops are stationed in Baghdad. More treason by the media! They've revealed valuable information that the enemy wouldn't otherwise have figured out!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-17 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-17 Pub. Date: 2006-05-17
Image Number: 13748
Caption: Wait, Nadine, you're not mad at me for fathering the love child of a crazy women and deciding to marry her? Nah, we can work this out. Everyone makes mistakes, honey, but it we care about each other, we can forgive each other. For instance, a cute pizza delivery guy mistakenly showed up at my door last night, and ... I don't think I like where this is going.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-15 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-16 Pub. Date: 2006-05-15
Image Number: 13725
Caption: Nadine, we've been out on a few dates and I like you a lot, but … Oh, I don't know how to say this… You can tell me anything, Lemont. Nadine … I had a Fonzie t-shirt I was crazy about when I was a kid, but I got sick on it and Momma had to throw it away. You need to work on your rap. Don't you see, you're like my Fonzie shirt.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-16 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-16 Pub. Date: 2006-05-16
Image Number: 13726
Caption: Huh? What? Why? Everything's going great, Lemont. I dig you, I know you're into me. So what's the problem? I recently found out I fathered the love child of a crazy vegetarian chick, and now I have to marry her. Say what? … And I'm not too fond of your taste in music.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-03-22 reveal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-03-24 Pub. Date: 2006-03-22
Image Number: 13287
Caption: Susan, I've been wanting to tell you something for a while, now. Dios mio … This is it. You're the most important person in my life. Lemont's going to tell me! I feel like I can tell you anything. Susan … I fathered the illegitimate child of a crazy woman. I feel the same way ... What?
     
Result page:    2   (20 images)