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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-07 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-07 Pub. Date: 2020-01-07
Image Number: 181113
Caption: Governor Newsom sure came down on you for that article you wrote about Mayor Pete's fancy wine cave fundraisers. Yeah. He said There are literally hundreds of Democrats that have been in that same cave … which was a good point. So I wrote a new article called When everyone is corrupt, then no one is corrupt. Hate the game, not the player, Lemont. Aphorisms are just 2% less lazy than memes, Susan. I hit dog will holler. Stop that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-06 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-06 Pub. Date: 2020-01-06
Image Number: 181112
Caption: I read your article where you called Mayor Pete's high-dollar wine cave fundraisers corrupt. That's so unfair, Lemont. For the sake of argument … hypothetically speaking, of course … Let's say someone showered Pete with cash in the wine cave in the hope that he'd throw his campaign's business to her P.R. firm ... but she didn't explicitly say that, she only stuck her business card between the $1,000 bills ... Go on ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-24 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-24 Pub. Date: 2019-11-24
Image Number: 180470
Caption: This just in: President Trump outraged the world today when he … hold on … We interrupt this story with breaking news … The President pulls troops out of Syria, abandoning the Kurds who fought on our beha -- We interrupt this story with breaking news … The President withheld military aid from Ukraine until they would agree to investigate the President's political rival, Jo -- Hold on ... We interrupt this story with breaking news ... the President seemed to advocate ethnic cleansing today, when he said -- hold one ... We interrupt this story with breaking news ... the colors ... pretty colors are talking to me. Can you hear? This just in: Trying to keep up with every one of the president's scandals may drive a @#$ crazy ... What?! This just in: (huff huff) producers and security are chasing a news anchor through the (huff huff) hallway. Click.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-21 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-21 Pub. Date: 2019-11-21
Image Number: 180467
Caption: The next election may be the last election. Russia hacked election systems in all fifty states last time. All signs point to that being just a trial run. And since one of our parties has spent the last couple decades suppressing votes, half the country has been trained not to care whether elections are fair. I think all votes should count, when they're cast by the right people. I heard that.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-18 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-18 Pub. Date: 2019-11-18
Image Number: 180435
Caption: Mainstream Media. Can't I just say one more thing about the latest billionaire who's running for presid … I said no!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-29 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-29 Pub. Date: 2019-10-29
Image Number: 180103
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? A lot of my readers have turned one me. All because I wrote an article called The New McCarthyism about how Democrats took legit intelligence about Russian interfering in our elections … and went way too far with it. Now, one Democrat will accuse another Democrat of being a Russian bot if that Democrat even mildly critiques a Democrat that Democrat likes. You sound like a Russian bot. That's what my readers said.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-15 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-15 Pub. Date: 2019-09-15
Image Number: 179422
Caption: Hello? Hi. Could I start you with some coffee? No thanks, that might make me too excited, and I'm in a presidential debate in a few hours. I'm Patsy Milquetoast, 23rd person on the Democratic debate stage. Who? Don't you remember me from the last debate? I'm the one who took a bold stand against boldness. I thought that was that John Delaney guy, who kept saying we can't do big things. I thought John was being too confrontational when he said all that. You can't beat someone by confronting them. Um ... I hope my saying that didn't offend you ... not that there'd be anything wrong with you being offended.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-03 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-03 Pub. Date: 2019-08-03
Image Number: 178786
Caption: If there's one good thing I can say about Donald Trump, it's that he really knows how to nickname people. He stole that from me, though. I've been nicknaming my rivals since Kindergarten. There was a kid who challenged my authority over the sandbox. I turned him into Loser Larry. There was a kid who challenged my grip on the Sugar Straw Pipeline. I turned him into Dodo Douglas. There was a presidential candidate who stole my shtick. I turned him into Dopey Donald. I've still got it.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-01 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-01 Pub. Date: 2019-07-01
Image Number: 178356
Caption: I saw you in the Democratic debates last week. You did pretty well. I just told it like it is, cuz. I was honest. Blunt. Candid. It's like you didn't care at all what voters thought of your answers. My internal polling shows voters eat that @#$% up. I liked how, after you crushed Biden with that one answer, you strutted over to him and dropped his mic.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-24 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-24 Pub. Date: 2019-04-24
Image Number: 177325
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. He still really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? A lie is not a lie if you believe it. America elected George Costanza president.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-14 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-14 Pub. Date: 2019-04-14
Image Number: 177112
Caption: I'm only 5,000 donors short. What? What're you talking about, Clyde? Did you know the Democratic party changed they debate rules, bruh? All a brother need is to be at 1% in the polls, have 65,000 unique donors, an' 200 unique donors per state from at least 20 states. An' did you know there ain't no law at all against changin' your legal name to Bernie Sanderz and settin' up a donate to Bernie Sanderz website? Also, ain't no law against sayin' Buy my new album on iTunes in answer to ever debate question. I've got a strange feeling of deja vu about this. Don't worry. I'm sure I won't actually win.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-24 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-24 Pub. Date: 2019-01-24
Image Number: 175943
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I don't know what's happened to journalism? All the mainstream journalists went after me on Twitter. I wrote and article dissecting the voting records and the past actions of the people who CNN tells us are the Democratic frontrunners for the 2020 presidential nomination. How could you, Lemont! Now's not the time for that sort of thing. They accused me of being divisive ... and Russian.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-22 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-22 Pub. Date: 2019-01-22
Image Number: 175941
Caption: Beto Klobuchar is the Democratic frontrunner for 2020. Beto Klobuchar is gonna be almost impossible to beat. All the big donors seem to be impressed by Beto Klobuchar. What do you think of Beto Klobuchar? He cool. He prolly a good choice. I made him up. I ... yeh, I knew that. I was jus' playin' along wicha, bruh.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-30 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-30 Pub. Date: 2018-12-30
Image Number: 175374
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … The runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... But instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-11 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-11 Pub. Date: 2018-11-11
Image Number: 174713
Caption: How many people bought your new book, bruh? The Worlds Where They Never Stopped Minorities From Voting? So far it's doing well. I painstakingly went through every single election since ex-slaves won the right to vote … and matched polls and private journals with every recorded instance of voter suppression and every dirty trick from the moment reconstruction ended until today ... Several presidential races, dozens of Senate races, and hundreds of Congressional races would've turned out differently. Our nation's history would've been totally different if minorities were never robbed of their right to vote. It took me eighteen years of research and hard work to piece together alternate histories caused by each changed election outcome. Is there a alternate history where you done told me how many people bought your depressing book? It's doing well.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-16 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170574
Caption: 2016. Trump's not going to win. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people didn't worry about him. No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was nobody. 2018. No way President Trump can survive all these scandals. Thanks, you've just doomed us all.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-26 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167654
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-25 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167653
Caption: Will Oprah … I said no. Mainstream Media. Canada or bust. Can't I just ask will Oprah run for president one more time. No!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-20 presidential 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-20 Pub. Date: 2018-01-20
Image Number: 167360
Caption: Will work for $$$. Will explain the appeal of Donald Trump for $$$. (Originally published on 2016-01-02).
     
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