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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about presidential elections.

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101. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-05-26 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-05-26 Pub. Date: 2008-05-26
Image Number: 91238
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome to That Drooly Show! With me tonight is Herb Swineshaft, inventor of the popular new novelty item, the Hillary Nutcracker.* It crushes walnuts between her stainless steel legs! Krk! Hee hee hee! *For real. So, I assume you're also selling a John McCain Nipple Clamp, since women's rights would be pinched hard by his Supreme Court nominees? Screw tightens jaw. Censored. Uh, no. Hadn't thought of that. Or if you're really into selling bigoted election merch, what about an Obama "Gangsta" sawed-off shotgun? The Oblamma! I think some people might find that offensive. As opposed to Hillary cracking metaphorical gonads with her thighs? Right. Well, thanks for joining us, Herb. Before we go, tell us- what can we expect from you next? A hilarious line of suffragette urinal cakes! Thank you, Mr. Swineshaft!
     
102. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-05-19 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-05-19 Pub. Date: 2008-05-19
Image Number: 91237
Caption: Slowpoke. Hillary Clinton has to act hawkish so people don’t see her as a "weak female." "To live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."* *Napoleon Bonaparte. Barack Obama has to act soothing and conciliatory so people don’t think he's an "angry black man." Please allow me to place these healing stones on the nation's vertebrae. As a white guy, John McCain also has to deal with stereotypes. Senator McCain, how do you respond to the allegations that you would be a "protective father figure" to the nation? Or a "tough cookie"? But he's doing his best to dispel some of them. Jeez, what do I have to do to get people to stop thinking I'm a "rationale male"? End times are good times! Hagee. I just can't get past these preconceptions! 100 year surge! 2019. 2051. 2071. 2104. Iraq.
     
103. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-04-28 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-04-28 Pub. Date: 2008-04-28
Image Number: 91234
Caption: Slowpoke. Since McCain supports warrantless wiretapping, we at Slowpoke have taken the liberty of putting the all-talk express under surveillance … … In the name of national security of course! P's Plumbing. All Talk Express. What are they doing now? McCain just had a nice, long chat with Joe Lieberman about jowl maintenance. And his lobbyist campaign adviser is making calls for his clients AT&T and Blackwater - both of which receive oversight in Congress ... From McCain!* Interesting. Oh, McCain just told his aids to turn down the Victrola so he could make an important call! He's on the horn with Pastor John Hagee, who craves Armageddon and blames Jews for their persecution. He's asking for his endorsement!* I think someone just mooned me. (sigh) It's the price we must pay to keep America safe. P's Plumbing. All Talk Express. *Not Made Up.
     
104. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-04-14 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-04-14 Pub. Date: 2008-04-14
Image Number: 91233
Caption: Slowpoke. Confused about the electoral process? Try Professor P's Civics Reader. CAUCUSES: Members of a party form herds in an elementary school cafeteria. After completing three rebuses, a chili cookoff, and reading Clan of the Cave Bear, winners are chosen. Meanwhile, the Democratic candidates' campaigns are busy nursing giant colonies of SUPERDELEGETES - mysterious beings said to acquire special powers from a radioactive donkey bite. Sleep well my pretties. At the appointed hour, the super delegates rise and do battle against each other miles above the Earth. Eat my hope bolts! Obamalon. O. I'll CHANGE you ... into Molten flesh! Hillaron. H. Armed with bows and arrows, greased pigs and kryptonite grenades, the delegates and superdelagates meet up. Only one candidate leaves alive. And the glory of Democracy lives on!
     
105. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 86635
Caption: Slowpoke. Drooly Julie. Gonzo Gal Reporter. Senator McCain, you've voted twice against having health insurance companies cover birth control. Do you think it's unfair that they cover VIAGRA but not THE PILL? … (8-second pause) … I don't know enough about it to give you an informed answer. Actual response! You're saying a flaccid geezer has a right to a stiffy, but a woman can't control the Pop Tarts flying our of her toaster? So THAT'S what you mean by "Straight Talk!" no ... I mean yes. I mean ... Uh ... Heh-heh. So basically you want poor women to have more babies, right? So then you can blame them for having too many babies, right? Um, er ... *ahem* ... Eh ... Senator McCain, are you on Viagra RIGHT NOW? Erm, umm, I'll have to get back to you on that.
     
106. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 92344
Caption: Slowpoke. Chris Matthews. NAD DEFENDER. Here's how political commentator Chris Matthews described Hillary Clinton's endorsers: Aren't you appalled at the willingness of these people to become CASTRATOS in the EUNUCH CHORUS? Matthews as clearly referring to a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Our models indicate that, it a WOMAN became President, all the nation's nads would spontaneously detach from their owners! A. B. Some say that the 150 million sets of cojones would be cryogenically frozen by Wiccans and held hostage to Hillary's agenda. I will release 10,000 family jewels for each of my health care proposals that is enacted! Now THAT'S political capital! Those eager to redeem their manhood could earn bollock redemption points by singing in a EUNUCH CHOIR. Our bits were taken by Hil-lary and now we sound like Ged-dy Lee! Hit those high notes, Chris! HRUMPH! Seems plausible to me!
     
107. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 92346
Caption: Slowpoke. Democrats are at each other's throats over the Presidential candidates. War-mongering triangulator! Overhyped health care demagogue! Obama. Hillary. As the race drags on, the DNC decides to unite the party with a medical miracle. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ... Oballary! Now THAT'S change! Oballary's ability to simultaneously eat waffles WHILE giving stump speeches in small town diners allows it to cover twice as many campaign stops as usual. GMORF! Lemme tell you about hope. The Oballary campaign quickly wins over the prized Siamese twin and sci-fi nerd vote. Finally! Somebody who represents us! McCain is a Cylon! Republican strategists are stymied. It'd be the first female and black President! But it's also white and male! With decades of combined experience! What'll we do? Not to be outdone, McCain exhumes Ronald Reagan's head to win over wary wingnuts! Don't worry ... He's plenty conservative! You tell 'em, Ronnie!
     
108. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-01-01 Pub. Date: 2008-01-01
Image Number: 92351
Caption: Slowpoke. Season of Unreason. As usual, the Presidential primaries have devolved into a grossly simplistic personality contest. Obama's smile is playing well in Kalamazoo! Yes, bit Hillary's eyebrows have mesmerized Ypsilanti! Nattering Noggins Nightly. How could we make the race even more trivial and idiotic? Monosyllabic debates. The Dems. Remember - Only ONE! Hope! Change! Fight! The Repubs. Bomb! Fear! Grunt! Aura divination. With us tonight is Contessa Montebaldi, who will probe the candidates' energy fields. Right now I'm seeing a murky haze around Mitt Romney. For John McCain ... I see flan. An enormous flan. Rorschach voting machines. Please choose the blob you would most like to have a beer with.
     
109. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2007-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2007-01-01 Pub. Date: 2007-01-01
Image Number: 92345
Caption: Slowpoke. Three of the Republican Presidential candidates don’t believe in evolution. Most G.O.P. Congress members don’t believe humans are contributing to climate change. Science contains the word "sin," you know. Coincidence? I think not. Since you can't choose the science you like and don't like, we at Slowpoke propose denying the BENEFITS of science to these politicians, starting with health care! Each one will be assigned a MEDIEVAL PHYSICIAN! I did not descend from an ape! Come with me, sir. While politicians who accept empiricism will get modern-day drugs ... These antibiotics will clear that infection right up! .... Those who don't will receive spins in a giant centrifuge designed to balance one's humors. WAAAAAAAAAA! Wait! You haven't drunk your treacle yet! After a while, even the staunchest deniers of scientific consensus will come around! Okay, okay! Darwin was right! Now can I PLEASE have my Viagra back?
     
110. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92657
Caption: Slowpoke. "Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government." -Thomas Jefferson. A new political ad appears on TV. John Kerry once had sex with a funnel cake. I know, because I was there. Funnel Cake Lovers for Truth. Despite evidence proving it false, the media run with it. I think the issue is not so much whether Kerry engaged in coitus with a cake, but whether dessert intercourse affects one's ability to be President. Id say it does, Bob. Crox News. Cheney: "All your babies will die" if Kerry is elected. At the Republican convention, small funnel cakes are decorated with icing bikinis are passed out as a joke. Better keep this away from John Kerry! Haw! Haw! In the end, millions of swing voters are swayed. I may be unemployed, and Bush ain't doin' much about it, bit I'll be damned if I vote for some donut-porker! Cake porker, dear.
     
111. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92658
Caption: Slowpoke. The Oval Office. Sigh. … Look at all this bad news. At this rate, I'll lose the election. AWOL. NO WMDS IN IRAQ. JOBLESS RECOVERY. KERRY LEADS BUSH IN POLLS. How can I make all this frowny-talk go away? Excuse me, Mr. President - It sounds like you need GAY-BAN TM! Guaranteed to make that political dirt disappear! Gay-Ban? How does it work? Just spray it at your next press conference - you'll see! GAY-BAN. Warning: Toxic Ideology. Shortly ... Mr. President! Can you explain why you did community service in 1972? Mr. President! What's your plan now that you've retracted your prediction of 2.6 million new jobs? Gay Ban, do your thing! PSHHT! Koff! And so ... You were right! Gay-Ban works like a charm! Nation Divided Over Gay Marriage. Election to Hinge on Gay Issue. Culture War. Constitution to Change. But of course! It's from the makes of Race-Bait TM!
     
112. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92664
Caption: Slowpoke. Hey, Republicans! Got your Bush-Cheney bumper sticker, but want to add your own personal touch? Bush-Cheney. Then check out our fabulous new line of right-wing swag! We've got a wide range of stickers … HONK if you don’t read newspapers. Jesus live mercury poisoning. Tolerance: It's worth crushing. FREE KEN LAY. We pit the ERROR in fighting TERROR! BOOB on BOARD. Ignorance is Bliss. Want to outdo that neighbor with the Kerry sign in her yard? Get one of our giant illuminated billboards powered by its very own mini coal fired plant! With luck, all of the by-products will blow into her yard. Just like the northeastern U.S.! Bush Cheney. Or display our newest item: the all-American inflatable FREEDOM PIG! Make sure the entire neighborhood knows what you really stand for! Halliburton. Bechtel. Enron. Monsanto. Chevron.
     
113. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92665
Caption: Slowpoke. This is Drooly Julie live at the Republican National Convention in New York, where I'm dispensing condoms and the latest news! Here are today's highlight. Screw abstinence - Take one! "The keynote speaker tonight was Moe Manley, African-American Iraq war veteran, Olympic gold medalist, and flag factory founder. What can I say? I'm just your typical Republican. "Meanwhile, hundreds of TV cameras sought out the black in the crowd, including '70s funk icon Celestial Steve." Huh? Don't look at ME! I'm doin' funky election coverage for VH1, dig? "Earlier today I spoke with Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson." So ... You're here for the hot Republican sex? We're here to support the President because he's like, the President. Yeah. BIMBOS FOR BUSH. "I also spoke with a campaign chair about the choice of New York City." People say you're exploiting 9-11 victims for political gain. Pishtosh! We appreciate their contribution! That's why we're awarding them Bush-Cheney "Pioneer" belt buckles posthumously! Protesters' voices have been muted, however, since being relegated to a small cave in Canada's Nunavut Territory. LIVE Kugluktuk, Canada. B-B-Bush lies!
     
114. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2004-01-01 presidential election 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2004-01-01 Pub. Date: 2004-01-01
Image Number: 92667
Caption: Slowpoke. It's Spongy the encephalopathic politicow. With the aid of her press secretary, Spongy launches the first-ever bovine bid for President. MOOOOOO … Spongy says: "Pay no mind to my hideous, brainwasting disease. We must end all regulation of industry!" Downed Cows for a Better U.S. We (heart) Spongiform. Much of the electorate is unfazed by Spongy's non-human status. She might not be the brightest, but she surrounds herself with smart people! She seems like an honest everycow, and that's what matters. I like beef, so I like Spongy. Spongy shoots up dramatically in the polls with a surprise visit to troops in Iraq. Army. Hooray! Yay, Spongy! Coming soon: The debates! This country needs health care reform now! Moooo ... Mooo .. Moooo ... Spongy's opponent may be articulate, but he's too angry and impassioned. I'll take gentle mooing any day. I agree. Spongy wins, hands down!
     
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