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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-09 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-09 Pub. Date: 2019-09-09
Image Number: 179394
Caption: Well, you seem to be in perfect health, Mr. Dogg. You sure, !@#$*? I got the blood rushin' 'round. I got the palpitations. I got the exact opposite of ennui an' disinterest, an' I ain't sure, !@#$*, but I think I lost my well-honed apathy 'bout the future. It sounds like you're just experiencing excitement. Gasp!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-04 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-04 Pub. Date: 2019-08-04
Image Number: 178780
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-19 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-19 Pub. Date: 2019-06-19
Image Number: 178162
Caption: I read the President's going to start keeping migrant kids at Fort Sill … one of the concentration camps where we kept Japanese Americans during World War II. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Santayana. It's one of the most-repeated quotes ever ... which means all of mankind probably needs to see a ... what do you call a memory-doctor? I forget.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-22 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177323
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-17 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157012
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-23 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139561
Caption: What are your symptoms, Mr. Dogg? Emptiness, hollowness … Lack of appetite … Loss of interest in stuff I used to like … … An jus' today I felt somethin' I ain't never felt before. I actually … well … this is completely confidential, right? Yes. I … I actually cared what someone thought of me. We'll run some tests. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-04).
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-12 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-12 Pub. Date: 2016-01-12
Image Number: 137664
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-10 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 130933
Caption: I just watched "Deep Space Nine" all the way through for the eighth time. But this time I didn't enjoy it very much. I was … bored. What does that say about me? Could it be I have a thyroid problem or cardiac condition or some other illness that causes depression? Maybe it just means you'd already seen it seven times. I tried to schedule a doctor appointment, but they refused. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-04 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-04 Pub. Date: 2014-02-04
Image Number: 106773
Caption: What are your symptoms, Mr. Dogg? Emptiness, hollowness … Lack of appetite … Loss of interest in stuff I used to like … … An jus' today I felt somethin' I ain't never felt before. I actually … well … this is completely confidential, right? Yes. I … I actually cared what someone thought of me. We'll run some tests.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-16 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-16 Pub. Date: 2013-08-16
Image Number: 100293
Caption: On the one hand, what you've just told me is incredibly alarming … General Hospital. … And as a healer, I took an oath to help those in pain. It is my calling. I don’t accept malady and suffering, not if there's anything I can do about it. What do you mean, "on the one hand"? I also don't accept your insurance.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-20 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-20 Pub. Date: 2011-07-20
Image Number: 63528
Caption: Why don't you want to tell me what that witness said in court? 'cause you won't believe me! Ever since we were kids! I tell you about things that really happen to me, and then you roll your eyes in disbelief. I'll believe you, Lemont, I promise. (sigh) ... Ok ... Lemont said he'd discovered the Mexican drug cartels were really zombie armies. With Doctor Noodle's help, Lemont seduced their commander, a demon named La Llorona: and got her to ... YOU'RE ROLLING YOUR EYES! Am not.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-12 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-12 Pub. Date: 2011-07-12
Image Number: 63188
Caption: Roxanne's lawyer calls a rebuttal witness to challenge Doctor Noodle's assessment that Lemont Brown is a sane, fit father. Mr. Benny Russell … … Were you Lemont Brown's cellmate at Sunnyville Sanitarium? No one will give me any paper. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember who I am? You're the man who promised to give me paper if I say "Lemont Brown is totally insane." OBJECTION! Overruled. If I don't finish my story the captain can't open the orb box, and if he can't open the orb box, he can't contact the prophets.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-29 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-29 Pub. Date: 2011-06-29
Image Number: 62673
Caption: Doctor Noodle. Your credentials are impressive. Winner of the Sigmund Freud Award. Three years running. Winner of the Candorville psychologists who work on Gilman Street between Third and Fourth Avenues Association Award. Competition was fierce. Nobel prize ... ... Third runner up? Should've shaved for the swimsuit round.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-27 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-27 Pub. Date: 2011-06-27
Image Number: 62671
Caption: Your ex called your THERAPIST to testify against you? What about doctor-patient privilege? They found a loophole. According to Brown v. Dubois … Privilege does not apply when the judge is your opponent's mother. Objection overruled.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-24 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-24 Pub. Date: 2011-06-24
Image Number: 62376
Caption: Can you repeat that? As my ex's therapist, you'll testify in court that he's insane, so they'll give me sole custody of our son. And I'm going to do that because … ? Because I'm a vampire, and if you don't, I'll eat you. Oh! I thought you said "If you dope, I'll bling you." Hard to enunciate with fangs. What was that about your bangs?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-23 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-23 Pub. Date: 2011-06-23
Image Number: 62375
Caption: My earliest memories were of the vampires who turned me. "Mommy" and "daddy." They were very cold. Because they didn't hug you, or give you the love and support a young girl needs? Because they were ded. Fascinating.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-22 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-22 Pub. Date: 2011-06-22
Image Number: 62374
Caption: You're not afraid, human? I'm a therapist. I can spot a dream a mile away. Dreams are about wish fulfillment. I've always wished that I'd finally get caught and pay for my crimes. Long ago, I went by another name and lived a life of debauchery on the carnival circuit ... This is not a dream. ... until the heat died down from mystring of laundromat robberies.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-21 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-21 Pub. Date: 2011-06-21
Image Number: 62373
Caption: I suppose you're wondering how you ended up chained in my dungeon. Is it important to you that I wonder about it? @#$% therapists. Tell me about your mother. Did SHE ever ask about your dungeon?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-20 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-20 Pub. Date: 2011-06-20
Image Number: 62372
Caption: I thought you were supposed to be in therapy right now. Me too. We were supposed to talk about my fear of abandonment. But the therapist never showed up.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-12 physician 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-12 Pub. Date: 2011-06-12
Image Number: 61590
Caption: When someone doesn't return your love and devotion, it's normal to assume you should change something about yourself. Oh, you noticed I've lost a few pounds? That has absolutely nothing to do with the face that Kelly hasn't even called me for months. I've lost my appetite for no reason, and I've been working out constantly, to get my mind off nothing in particular. Hmmm ... I see. My friends are awful quiet around me. People don't know what to say to someone who's in denial. No, they probably think I'm getting way too skinny.
     
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