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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-09 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-09 Pub. Date: 2018-11-09
Image Number: 174831
Caption: Anyhow, thanks for listening, Rudy. It's part of the job. I guess you're right: The move to 3rd grade is a big one. There are lots of changes. You've just got to roll with it. And buy a new video game console? It eases any transition. How did you get to be so smart? Playing lots of video games.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-18 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-18 Pub. Date: 2018-10-18
Image Number: 174506
Caption: Jo W., a reader from Colorado Springs and Valarie H,. From parts undisclosed, send this suggestion to name Rudy's generation … The iGeneration. We have an almost-winner. It works on several levels. It refers to their obsession with Apple and to their narcissism. We got it, old coot!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-14 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-14 Pub. Date: 2018-08-14
Image Number: 173522
Caption: We've done it. Our fake video of you being nice to Rudy has ruined your reputation. You're a weirdo. Your ratings are booming. Listeners can't get enough. They wonder if you're a fraud, think you're more human, imagine they might be superior to you. Time for Part 2. I don't want to know. You fake your redemption and we start selling t-shirts. I want 25% and I won't give or receive any hugs.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172751
Caption: You're in big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break, I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare it! LOOK! Making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years. How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was so good to you, filthbag. Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-03 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-03 Pub. Date: 2018-04-03
Image Number: 170205
Caption: Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-02 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-02 Pub. Date: 2018-04-02
Image Number: 170204
Caption: Today's lesson for the lustful man is called Do As the Ladies Do. Part One: The Look. If you spot someone who's super-hot, don't stare. Look away and watch her using your peripheral vision only. You'll find peripheral vision exercises on page 47 of my new book: How to survive and thrive in the #Metoo era. It's the latest in my best-selling Randy's MANuals series. Available in bookstores and mancaves near you.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-07 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-07 Pub. Date: 2018-02-07
Image Number: 168188
Caption: Boss, North Korea's dictator just tweeted that he's considering launching nuclear missiles. He released a map of targets. The map shows that every part of the country will either be destroyed or irradiated. Except for this café. There are like 80 people out there with sleeping bags already. Did you rename the scones Survival Biscuits as I instructed? And did you know six-year-old geniuses will hack a head of state's Twitter account in return for a single bag of Doritos? Very bad man.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-06 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168187
Caption: I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-27 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167661
Caption: Boss? When are you going to start paying me a a full-time employee? I'm here all the time. It's not "part-time." Nonsense. The law clearly states that anything under 35 hours a week is part time … and anything from 35-40 hours a week is full time. You work 50 hours a week, so you don't fall within the full-time window. Full time window is not a thing, boss. Pretty sure it is, I just heard myself say it.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-29 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-29 Pub. Date: 2017-12-29
Image Number: 166543
Caption: Boss? Why've you been calling me "Sauron" all day? It's a hero's journey thing. Step 8, to be exact: The Ordeal. In the ordeal, the hero of the story faces a pivotal test of either strength or will. In Lord of the Rings, the ordeal was the face-off with Sauron. But why'd you start calling me that right after I asked for a raise? Denied, foul beast! ... Now, let me check my bank account for Step 9: The Reward.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-09 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-09 Pub. Date: 2017-12-09
Image Number: 165720
Caption: The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-29 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165442
Caption: I forgot to tell you "Happy Black Friday." What do you mean, Billy? Isn't that your holiday? Um … you're asking me that because I'm a merchant … Right? I guess so. Oh. That's good. I was about to ask "what are your parents teaching you?" What part of Africa do "merchants" come from?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-01 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-01 Pub. Date: 2017-11-01
Image Number: 164423
Caption: Sadie, I saw something disturbing on Youtube. A theoretical physicist named S. James Gates Jr. was attempting to discern the elementary structure of nature. It let him to a set of equations that were indistinguishable from computer code. Computer code, he found, is written into the equations that describe the cosmos. Do you have any idea what this means? It means it might be true that we're all part of a simulation! I'm assuming you've stopped talking, since your lips are no longer flapping.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-02 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-02 Pub. Date: 2017-09-02
Image Number: 162104
Caption: Our secret midlife crisis fling is still on track for June of 2018. Almost. Almost? That's right. You're not exactly doing your part. Where are the tattoos I designed for you? Where are the six-pack abs? If you'd been following the meal and workout plan I sent you, you'd have six-pack abs by now. you were serious about -- Have you even started the Rosetta Stone French lessons I gifted you? The pillow talk is supposed to be in French. Can't we just use Google translate? Beep beep. Unacceptable. Don't be the weak link on the committee, Rudy.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-24 part 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160763
Caption: All you young people keep whining about the country being "divided." You don't know what "divided" is. Grandmother Cohen was a general in the Union army. Her sister was a Confederate general. They didn't let women fight in the Civil War. Of course not. But as luck would have it, Great Grandmother Cohen was the best fake-beard-maker in the land. Nobody ever dared ask "Stonewall Jackson" why "he" often wore his hair in a bun. The history books always leave out the best parts.
     
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