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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about options and optioning.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (50 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-07 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-07 Pub. Date: 2019-01-07
Image Number: 175736
Caption: What's the best way to ask my boss for a promotion? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. You say you got other options, so she better hook you up right quick or you out the door. That's the same advice you gave me about asking women out. Here's the secret 'bout life: Every relationship be the same relationship.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-19 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-19 Pub. Date: 2018-12-19
Image Number: 175481
Caption: We were respectable in those days, Rosencrantz. Which days, Tyrone? Those Halcyon days when we were finally on our own, still young and full of promise ... before the world picked us up and whittled away our options like we were pieces of driftwood. I think it was the period between October third, 1991, and October fifth, 1991. I remember that. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-27)
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-18 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-18 Pub. Date: 2018-12-18
Image Number: 175480
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an other choice. I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-26)
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-20 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-20 Pub. Date: 2018-10-20
Image Number: 174496
Caption: Randy, let me ask you a question, man to man … House of Java Café. If a journalist were looking into your activities, would it be manlier to (A) bribe him off the story … What's B? B is have Russian associates deal with him the way they would in Russia. Which letter of the alphabet is come clean and apologize? Oh wait, sorry ... I gave you C. B would be make up dirt about him and destroy his credibility.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-17 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-17 Pub. Date: 2018-05-17
Image Number: 171504
Caption: You really should've invested in Rudycoin, Clyde. My $100 investment shot up to $10,000 overnight. Did you cash that @#$% in, bruh, or let it ride? I think I cashed it in. Whachoomean you think? I saw my balance was $10k/100k Rudybits, and under it there were two buttons. I chose the one that said Rudycash, which seemed more likely to cash in my earnings than the button that said HODL Rudypower. Stop it. I don't know what any of that mean, other than you gonna lose your whole life savings. Stop hodling on to the 20th century.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-11 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170411
Caption: Maybe you'd understand owning a gun if you were a single female living alone. Wait … are you trying to tell me you own a gun, Susan? Remember how I was walking home six year ago, and a guy stepped out of a dark alley, dragged me into it, and got the better of me? What? Oh my god, I don't remember that at all! That's 'cause it didn't happen. Because I was armed and he ran away. What else could've made him do that? A taser ... pepper spray ... souvenir nunchucks from Panda Express ... the list is endless.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-05 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-05 Pub. Date: 2016-11-05
Image Number: 150476
Caption: 1982. What are you gonna be in 2012? I've narrowed it down to two options. If we don't blow ourselves up, I'll be a cyborg captain of a starship, hunting for black holes I can use to travel back in time and capture dinosaurs. If we DO blow ourselves up, I'll wear leather pants and roam the radioactive wasteland fighting mutants in order to bring a bucket of water and a little bit of peace to grateful orphans. It's good you have something to fall back on. Momma said that's important.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-27 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-27 Pub. Date: 2016-10-27
Image Number: 150197
Caption: We were respectable in those days, Rosencrantz. Which days, Tyrone? Those Halcyon days when we were finally on our own, still young and full of promise … before the world picked us up and whittled away our options like we were pieces of driftwood. I think it was the period between October third, 1991, and October fifth, 1991. I remember that.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-26 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150196
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an "other choice." I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-09 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148825
Caption: Hello, you've reached Candorville county. This is Ryan 2.0. How may I hinder you? My son was mistakenly enrolled in Medicaid. I need him off that. Please listen carefully as our options may have changed. To discuss Medicaid eligibility, say "two." To report fraud, say "three." To report child or elder abuse, say "four." Two. To obtain a business license, say "five." "Two." To dispute a county tax lien or inquire about your property tax bill, say "six." "Two." To make a child support payment, say "seven." To send an inmate a care package, say "eight." "Two." I said TWO! TWO! TWO! TWO! Just put an actual person on the phone! That option is invalid. To purchase coroner gift shop merchandise, say "nine."
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-06 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137377
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-27).
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-24 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-24 Pub. Date: 2015-09-24
Image Number: 132815
Caption: You can jump five more times, or you can jump six more times before going to sleep. It's up to you. How many more times do you want to jump? Five or six? Five-oh-thix. "506" was not one of the options, son. Uh-huh, daddy. You thed it. One! … Two! … Fwee! ... Eight! ... Ten! ... Fouw! ... Eleven! ... This is going to be a long night.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-14 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-14 Pub. Date: 2014-05-14
Image Number: 111231
Caption: Dr. Dre bought a $50 million mansion. Who does that? If you have $50 million lying around, you have options. You can make people's lives better. You can create jobs. … Or you can blow it on a house. Who in his right mind would choose to blow it on a house? You jus' jealous you don't have $50 million to throw down a hole.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-13 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-13 Pub. Date: 2014-03-13
Image Number: 108530
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-31 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-31 Pub. Date: 2013-07-31
Image Number: 99762
Caption: This is Lester with Pie Rett Collections. We're calling you to collect $158 that you owe ATNT. How would you like to take care of that? By credit card of check? By telling you I don’t use ATNT and don’t owe ATNT $158, so I'm not going to pay you a dime. Ever. That's not one of the options, Lemont. IT IS NOW, LESTER!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-14 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-14 Pub. Date: 2013-04-14
Image Number: 95260
Caption: My fiancée's family hates me. As long as she's with me, they'll treat her as an outcast. I feel so guilty about dividing the family. Dr. Noodle. How do I fix this? You have two options … You can suck up to them and hope that will win the affections of the sort of people who think it's their right to judge you ... ... Or you can be a good man, lead a life of integrity, be content that you know you're good for her, and don't give a @#$% what other people think. So you're saying changing my name and getting plastic surgery ISN'T one of the options?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-09 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-09 Pub. Date: 2013-04-09
Image Number: 95573
Caption: Lemont cancels his Concast cable service. If you don't mind my asking, why are you leaving us? Was it us? Did we not meet your needs? No, it's just I want to see other TV. Maybe satellite. What? Are you serious? What does satellite have that we don't have? Cheaper, better programming. Better box ... Aside from that. (Originally published on 2011-08-30).
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-27 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-27 Pub. Date: 2012-01-27
Image Number: 75721
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-03 option 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-03 Pub. Date: 2011-12-03
Image Number: 73561
Caption: 1982. What are you gonna be in 2012? I've narrowed it down to two options. If we don't blow ourselves up, I'll be a cyborg captain of a starship, hunting for black holes I can use to travel back in time and capture dinosaurs. If we do blow ourselves up, I'll wear leather pants and roam the radioactive wasteland fighting mutants in order to bring a bucket of water and a little bit of peace to grateful orphans. It's good you have something to fall back on. Momma said that's important.
     
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