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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2019-01-18 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-01-18 Pub. Date: 2019-01-18
Image Number: 175912
Caption: Kurds in the Way. So we came up with a humorous line on the Syria situation. You say we had the situation under control but the Kurds got in the way. What? A little humor to alleviate the tension. Like the poem - Miss Muffet was eating her curds and whey. Sitting on her tuffet. Her tuffet? What's she look like, this Muffet woman? Cute? Nice tuffet? Nice young tuffet? No ... uh. I wouldn't mind some good-looking young Muffet around here. Especially when I'm here all alone. Grab 'em by the tuffet, you know? But ... So good idea. Send over this Muffet honey. Sitting on her tuffet. Good one. She like hamburgers? Wait ... she ... ? 'Cause we got some hamburgers left over from those football players. I can't eat them all myself. What were you saying about Syria? Not that I care. M.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-12-30 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-12-30 Pub. Date: 2018-12-30
Image Number: 175702
Caption: Putin Introduces Mark Zuckerberg to Some of His Friends … and remember, friends, if you need anything you can always friend our friend on Facebook. I'll be your waiter … Any tovarish of Vladimir's is a tovarish of mine. I'm with vicious murdering dictator. Vodka. Stalin was right.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-04-04 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-04-04 Pub. Date: 2018-04-04
Image Number: 170257
Caption: Facebook Sells Your Information to Just About Anyone (Correction - Anyone). Zuckerberg sent us! Smile! Insurance! Your favorite groceries! Just what you need! In your size! Wow! Vote FOP. Now. Live longer. What about mom? Invest!
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-03-26 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169911
Caption: Mr. Zuckerberg, When Last Seen … Blame for the Election of Trump. Trump.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-03-22 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-03-22 Pub. Date: 2018-03-22
Image Number: 169843
Caption: Steve Bannon and Robert Mercer Discuss Their Next Candidate. Zuckerberg! He's got dirt on everyone and they pay him! Genius!
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-20 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 164134
Caption: So You Get All Your News from the Internet? That's right. So I know it's all true. See, they can't put anything on the internet unless it's true. Where did you hear that? On the internet … Make America Great Again.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-09 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-09 Pub. Date: 2017-03-09
Image Number: 155564
Caption: Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Jared on the High Wire. Real estate deals. For rent. Clothing line. Russia deals.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-05-18 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-05-18 Pub. Date: 2016-05-18
Image Number: 143609
Caption: Mr. Zuckerberg Explains Facebook is Not Favoring the Left. Whut? I seen right on Facebook that said Obama was a human being. Eh You wanna beer? We got beer. You wanna beer?
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-12-31 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137510
Caption: The Secret Service and It's Discontents. Aw … come one … don't tell me somebody stole my badge and ID again! These terrorists gotta be stopped! And my liberry card, too? Aw, come on … I'd like to report a missing gun. The owner is a secret, and the type of gun is a secret, and could you please keep this a secret, too? Ok, so, we are guarding the ... uh ... the president of ... well, you know, and we are prepared to throw our bodies into the line of fire as soon as we figger out where he is. Shhh ... that's a secret, too.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-27 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-27 Pub. Date: 2015-04-27
Image Number: 126768
Caption: Feds Crack Down on Phony Online Colleges. Run, boys! Tuition is Knowledge. Halfhard Online College. Serving Halfhard College. Deliveries (Fedfunds, etc.). Well, it was a great con while it lasted. Can we keep the hats? Swag.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-23 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114333
Caption: Online Education. I'm in French class right now, then I have History of Wester CIV and Intro to Economics. Then I just want to unwind a bit …
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-21 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-21 Pub. Date: 2013-11-21
Image Number: 104477
Caption: Sheldon Adelson Fights Online Gambling Which Might Destroy American Families or something. Hey! Hey! You tryin' to ruin the American way of life? Hey? You tryin' to destroy what men fought and died for? Hey! You some sort of liberal commie? Hey! Hey! I'm dyin' here ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. Odd.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-04 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-05 Pub. Date: 2013-11-04
Image Number: 103727
Caption: NSA Surveillance Just in Time for Christmas. And the data base sees everyone when they're sleeping, and knows when they're awake! And tells you if they're bad or good, just like it dies for the drone program! A no-brainer. NSA. ACME Reindeer Feeds. December 25. National Security Agency. Everyone. Everything. Santa's Work Shop.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-08-07 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-08-07 Pub. Date: 2013-08-07
Image Number: 100245
Caption: When You Buy The Washington Post the Ghosts Go With It. So you see Mr. Bezos, I have never totally forgiven your newspaper. In fact I have submitted a corrective op-ed piece which I would like you to print … or, I will be back every night until …
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-29 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-29 Pub. Date: 2013-07-29
Image Number: 99934
Caption: Sexting International. SO I broke it off with that gaucho from Tierra Del Fuego. You still in contact with that Uzbeck violinist from Tblisi? No … He was sweet. But then he wanted me to send him pictures of my bank book.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-24 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-24 Pub. Date: 2013-07-24
Image Number: 99717
Caption: Notice. Fugedabaddit. City of New York. 100% beef. What's yours? Personal pickles. Ketchup. Mustard. Weiner rolls. Rolls. Gas. Anthony's Weiners. First chance $1.00. Second chance. 50 (cents) Third chance. Best offer. Now available online.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-12 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-12 Pub. Date: 2013-06-12
Image Number: 98135
Caption: Orwell 1984 (crossed out) 2013. I thought I was writing fiction … 1984. Winston Smith … Auloises.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-10 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-10 Pub. Date: 2013-06-10
Image Number: 98110
Caption: Listening In to America. So I'm like whaddya mean he goes like whaddyameant whaddyameant, so I'm like, you know, and he's like no, I mean, what are you sayin'? So I go, like, lissen, I'm just sayin', you know? So, he's like yeah ok, so then he goes, ok, like, I mean yeah, and he's like ok, so let's get together, and I'm like, whaddyamean together? So he goes let's keep it like just us, so then I go you mean like um, you know, a secret? And he goes, yeah ... Hah? Hah? Hear that? Secrets! CIA.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-09 online 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-09 Pub. Date: 2013-06-09
Image Number: 98095
Caption: USPS. A Message from the Post Office. If you send an email or make a phone call, the government knows it. The CIA knows it. The NSA knows it. The Department of Defense knows it. The FBI knows it. They share the information with other government agencies ... Even Federal Express and DHL and UPS keep records of where their letters are sent. On the other hand ... ... If you send a first class letter ... Nobody knows anything. You can keep it or copy it or destroy it yourself. In complete privacy. So ... That'll be forty-six cents, please.
     
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