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Rudy Park

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-16 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-16 Pub. Date: 2018-08-16
Image Number: 173524
Caption: … and so I promise my audience this: I will repent. I will redouble my efforts to be cruel to Rudy. I will … Wait … redouble my efforts … who writes this @#$% crud? This is a bunch of hooey. I've been out up to this. I was never nice to Rudy. The network faked the video tape. It's a lie!!! Pull the plug. The old lady's finished ...
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-29 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172980
Caption: This just in: There's nothing in. We here at CNM have finally realized why our ratings have been plummeting. For years, we billed ourselves as a 24-hour news channel. We gave unbiased reports on the major events of the day. But it turns out: There aren't that many major events. How many minor updates can we give you on a fire that takes place at a polygamist compound, or a northeast snowstorm or a traffic snarl? We can admit this because no one is listening. The 24-hour news channels have grown desperate and giddy. We're going to one hour of news, and 23 hours of political bickering and nude juggling.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-28 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-28 Pub. Date: 2018-07-28
Image Number: 173113
Caption: I need to change my personal privacy setting on Facebook. I can help. Lots of options. You can choose to: (1) Share all your personal info. (2) Share everything about yourself or (3) Withhold nothing from your frineds and wonderful marketers. That's it?!? 'Course not. There's a (4): All of the above.
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-27 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-27 Pub. Date: 2018-07-27
Image Number: 173112
Caption: This Facebook thing is @#$% nuts! In my day, people kept their lives private. You didn't share you personal tastes, age, buying habits and relationship status. Which is? Huh? What is your relationship statue, pookums? Not my point. Change of subject. Too late. Can't you at least share our status with me?
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-26 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-26 Pub. Date: 2018-07-26
Image Number: 173111
Caption: There's some guy in the café who knows everything about me from Facebook. And? And he's trying to sell me things based on my personal tastes. Awesome. You young people really don't care about your privacy! My what? PRIVACY?!?! Sounds familiar. Can you spell it?
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-25 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-25 Pub. Date: 2018-07-25
Image Number: 173110
Caption: So you know my age and that I like Scrabble and that I may at one point have purchased foot cream? Of course. You're on Facebook. It's a terrific way to let the world know who you are. What about my privacy? Your what? Privacy?! Not familiar. Can you spell it?
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-12 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-12 Pub. Date: 2018-03-12
Image Number: 169405
Caption: Hot date tonight, little buddy? I'll say. I met a super-smart, really amazing lady. We're going to hook up tonight. By that I mean we're going to get together and troll all the true believers at the Reptilian Illuminati are controlling everything Facebook group. Sigh ... Well, at least you're going to be in the company of another human being. By get together, I mean we're going to post comments in the same threads.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-06 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169196
Caption: I've been reading a lot of ancient history lately. That's good, little buddy. The distant past is pretty fascinating. You're preaching to the choir. Before every date, I like to revisit the pax romana. The point in time when all the squabbling ceased and all of Europe got down to some good lovin'. What's your favorite time in ancient history? March 28th, 2015. that's when I retweeted a great tweet I'd written back on December 5th, 2014.
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-21 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-21 Pub. Date: 2018-02-21
Image Number: 168668
Caption: How can you be so heartless?! I have half a mind to tweet about this! Pardon? A bus full of tiny orphan broke down down the hill. It was on the news. Yet you didn't offer them any food. How would this look for your café if you totally ignored them in their time of need? If you'd like to prepare some tuna croissants, I'd be more than happy to haul them down there for you. Not falling for it.
     
32. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-05 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168186
Caption: I have this really bad itch on my ne … What? I said … I have this really embarrassing itch on my nethers … Speak up, I can't hear you. I said, I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether regions, and wondered if you've ever had that too. I'd keep it down if I were you. Thanks a lot. Thirteen people have already tweeted it.
     
33. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-15 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167377
Caption: Put on Fox and Friends. Error. Invalid series name. Huh? Fox and Friends has been renamed, please use the correct name. Well … what's it been renamed as? The Presidential Daily Briefing. (Sigh). Fine. Show me The Presidential Daily Briefing on Fox News. Error. Fox News is an invalid network name.
     
34. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-01 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166785
Caption: You never told me what you thought of 'Star Wars.' I was waiting. For what? For the consensus. My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict. If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid.
     
35. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
36. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-21 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-21 Pub. Date: 2017-06-21
Image Number: 159402
Caption: So … You're a journalist. That's right. Can I interview you? Eh … no thanks. But … I could get your story out. Don't you want the world to know why you're rebelling against Dictator Clause? Of course. That's why I tweet. I've got millions of followers who hear my side whenever I want them to. @#?* 21st century. RebelElf. Rebuffed loser journo. He got all mad. Time 4 cookie-break. #LameStreamMedia
     
37. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-11 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158456
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
38. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-31 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158614
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! I'm thinking of moving to Canada. Nothing in this country ever goes my way. We have no national health insurance, no gun control, no high-speed moose network … Go to Canada, then! Who needs you, you whiner? America's national pastime is complaining. If you don't want to stay and enjoy the game, who needs you?! I've never been into sports.
     
39. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
40. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-04 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157561
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships in the first place. Also, I should get the kids, right?
     
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