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Rudy Park

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-12 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-12 Pub. Date: 2018-03-12
Image Number: 169405
Caption: Hot date tonight, little buddy? I'll say. I met a super-smart, really amazing lady. We're going to hook up tonight. By that I mean we're going to get together and troll all the true believers at the Reptilian Illuminati are controlling everything Facebook group. Sigh ... Well, at least you're going to be in the company of another human being. By get together, I mean we're going to post comments in the same threads.
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-06 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169196
Caption: I've been reading a lot of ancient history lately. That's good, little buddy. The distant past is pretty fascinating. You're preaching to the choir. Before every date, I like to revisit the pax romana. The point in time when all the squabbling ceased and all of Europe got down to some good lovin'. What's your favorite time in ancient history? March 28th, 2015. that's when I retweeted a great tweet I'd written back on December 5th, 2014.
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-21 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-21 Pub. Date: 2018-02-21
Image Number: 168668
Caption: How can you be so heartless?! I have half a mind to tweet about this! Pardon? A bus full of tiny orphan broke down down the hill. It was on the news. Yet you didn't offer them any food. How would this look for your café if you totally ignored them in their time of need? If you'd like to prepare some tuna croissants, I'd be more than happy to haul them down there for you. Not falling for it.
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-05 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168186
Caption: I have this really bad itch on my ne … What? I said … I have this really embarrassing itch on my nethers … Speak up, I can't hear you. I said, I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether regions, and wondered if you've ever had that too. I'd keep it down if I were you. Thanks a lot. Thirteen people have already tweeted it.
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-15 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-15 Pub. Date: 2018-01-15
Image Number: 167377
Caption: Put on Fox and Friends. Error. Invalid series name. Huh? Fox and Friends has been renamed, please use the correct name. Well … what's it been renamed as? The Presidential Daily Briefing. (Sigh). Fine. Show me The Presidential Daily Briefing on Fox News. Error. Fox News is an invalid network name.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-01 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166785
Caption: You never told me what you thought of 'Star Wars.' I was waiting. For what? For the consensus. My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict. If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid.
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-21 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-21 Pub. Date: 2017-06-21
Image Number: 159402
Caption: So … You're a journalist. That's right. Can I interview you? Eh … no thanks. But … I could get your story out. Don't you want the world to know why you're rebelling against Dictator Clause? Of course. That's why I tweet. I've got millions of followers who hear my side whenever I want them to. @#?* 21st century. RebelElf. Rebuffed loser journo. He got all mad. Time 4 cookie-break. #LameStreamMedia
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-11 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158456
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
32. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-31 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158614
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! I'm thinking of moving to Canada. Nothing in this country ever goes my way. We have no national health insurance, no gun control, no high-speed moose network … Go to Canada, then! Who needs you, you whiner? America's national pastime is complaining. If you don't want to stay and enjoy the game, who needs you?! I've never been into sports.
     
33. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
34. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-04 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157561
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships in the first place. Also, I should get the kids, right?
     
35. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-02 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153980
Caption: I heard you got sixteen phone numbers at the women's march. Shame! Well, you heard wrong, Sadie. I got 1,600. But it's not what you think. I'm helping to create a vast network of people to fight all the coming anti-woman legislation. Oh. Well … all right, then. Where'd you put all those numbers, some sort of computer machine? No, I put 'em right here. I know a little black book when I see one! It's an iPhone.
     
36. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-25 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-25 Pub. Date: 2017-01-25
Image Number: 153709
Caption: Rudy, from now on I'm going to answer all employee requests through Twitter. Publicly? Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. That's right. If you have a valid request, you should have no problem with the entire world hearing it. Now, what was that again about you needing time off for a proctology appointment? Never mind. Hold on ... composing a tweet ... How do you spell "polyp" again?
     
37. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-24 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153708
Caption: Hey boss, you asked to see me? Yes, I want to know why you haven't carried out my orders yet. What orders? I tweeted them last night at 3 a.m. Everyone knows Twitter proclamations are now to be taken as official policy. Except when I'm just joking. What? But that's confusing. You mean I'm keeping you on your toes. Now go deliver a cease and desist notice to that lemonade-stand kid outside.
     
38. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-17 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-17 Pub. Date: 2017-01-17
Image Number: 153429
Caption: Three days, minion. Three more days of crimes against nature, otherwise known as "rules and regulations." As a great but misguided man once said, "You have meddled with the primal forces of nature! And you … will atonnnnnnne!" Did you hear all that bass in my voice, minion? Come the morn of January 20th, you will hear that rumble across the land. You may want to bow down to me at this point, since I'm expecting Mr. Trump to name me feudal lord of this township. Very bad man.
     
39. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-15 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-15 Pub. Date: 2017-01-15
Image Number: 152478
Caption: Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier, your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky." It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that you're full of it.
     
40. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-15 network 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152125
Caption: Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.
     
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