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Candorville

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Result page:     (15 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-13 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-13 Pub. Date: 2018-02-13
Image Number: 168414
Caption: 1982. Did you get Superman for your birthday. Sort of. I should've been more specific. Momma gave me a video called Abar: The First Black Superman. Instead of fighting Lex Luthor, Abar the first black Superman fights housing discrimination. You should ask your momma to exchange it. I did. She said When it comes to black superheroes, it's slim pickings, whatever that means.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-28 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 162087
Caption: You know how Marvel had heroes star in separate movies, and then they all united in "The Avengers"? And then on Netflix Marvel had separate series, and then they all united in "The Defenders"? Why don't newspaper comic strips do that? You've got a couple hundred separate characters who've been building an audience for decades. What if the protagonists from "The Oldersons," "23 Skiddoo" and "Should've Ended in 1950" got together? It'd be epic. They could call it "The Dependers." Careful, you ain't all that young neither, bruh.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-31 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147921
Caption: Not everything is about race, Clyde. You tryin' to tell me Hollywood don't have a "magical Negro" problem? You ain't noticed all the movies where a black character come outta nowhere an' has no purpose at all other than to teach white people how to solve problems? Yeah, but that's not racial. There are plenty of characters of all races who have no purpose other than to teach people lessons. And let's not forget Yoda. Confusing the issue, you are.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-29 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-29 Pub. Date: 2016-08-29
Image Number: 147919
Caption: Clyde, have you seen the trailer for that new Eddie Murphy movie? Yes, "Magical Negro." I seen it. It's not called "Magical Negro." You mean it ain't about a black character whose only purpose is to use his special insight to aid white characters? It's a true story. So that's different. And it's called "Mr. Church." C-Dog call a movie what it should be called. Wanna go see "Mr. Church" with me? I'd rather go see "Watch Margot Robbie in Hot Pants for Two Hours" again.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-22 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-22 Pub. Date: 2015-12-22
Image Number: 136829
Caption: I know where we should go for our double date, Susan. We should go see "Star Wars." We can all dress up. I'll go as Lando Calrissian, you would go as Cinnabon Leia, and your date could go as Jek Porkins. Porkins was that x-wing guy who didn't last two minutes in his mission over the Death Star. It's kind of appropriate, when you think about it. Hey, I've had a few long ... ish ... term relationships.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-27 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-27 Pub. Date: 2015-01-27
Image Number: 121962
Caption: "James Bond" can't be black. Why not? Black, white, so what? Was he ever black in the books? I don't think they ever even mentioned ethnicity. All he has to be is smooth, charming, debonair and cunning. What's important is that he's English. And there are plenty of black men in England. There'd be a lot of bigots furious about this. Bonus. It would give me a reason to avoid the internet and have a life again. Dios mio.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-26 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-26 Pub. Date: 2015-01-26
Image Number: 121961
Caption: Seriously they gonna cast a brotha as the next James Bond? They might cast Idris Elba. I don't see why not. All the actors have been different. Blond, brunette, blue-eyed, brown-eyed, Scottish, Irish, English, Australian … White, white, white, white, white, white, white, white be all I heard.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-18 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-18 Pub. Date: 2014-08-18
Image Number: 115239
Caption: Hwha - ? Who's there? I'll put it this way: Goooood morning Vietnam! Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary. To live would be an awfully big adventure. Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. Your move, chief. Kiss my frozen tushie! Kiss it! Kiss it! Doesn't ring a bell. Shazbot.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-11 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-11 Pub. Date: 2011-03-11
Image Number: 58317
Caption: It seems like the "adjustment bureau" is just a movie version of Fringe's "The Observer" characters. Men in suits and fedoras who guide everyone's fate. I know what you're gonna say: "But Lemont, Fringe is about a war between two alternate realities." Hey! Stop! You shedding cool points like dandruff! ... And "but Lemont, the observers only make sure the most pivotal events happen, whereas the Adjustment Bureau controls every little thing." Sometimes it's nice to just stretch out.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-16 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-16 Pub. Date: 2009-07-16
Image Number: 36192
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. I, Lemont Brown, confess I am not a reporter. I am an American spy and I caused the fake Iranian "Green Revolution." After I watched the Reman Captain Nero go back thru time 2 change Federation history in "Star Trek," CIA sent me here 2 change Iran. See? Lemont's giving us a signal so we know they're forcing him to say this! Everyone knows Nero was a Romulan, not a Reman! And he didn't change history, he created an alternate reality, leaving the original timeline intact! Dios mio I hang around Lemont way too much. Tell General Kirk I'm sorry he failed the Kobayashi Maru test.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-05 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-05 Pub. Date: 2009-06-05
Image Number: 34735
Caption: I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets. I assure you we are on a mission of peace. Grumble. The current administration shouldn't prosecute anyone who ordered the torture of war criminals. And that is by no means a self-serving argument. I sense hostility, Captain. I don't believe any of that ever happened, Lemont. WELL IT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE!
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-29 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-29 Pub. Date: 2009-03-29
Image Number: 31247
Caption: I'll start with the original "Star Wars." Then "Empire." That way you preserve the big surprise about Luke's dad. Then "Episodes 1&2." "The Clone Wars" cartoons, and then "Episode 3." They'll be like a flashback someone tells Luke while he's healing from the whole hand thing. They'll give time to build anxiety over Han's fate, and they'll set up Vader's redemptive journey. Which I'll then finish by watching... ...That's right, baby, "Return of the Jedi." Dios mio. Not at all what I meant when I said "You should write a five-year plan." Pshht. Five years? I could do it in five days. There are ways. You don't even wanna know.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-12 movie character 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-12 Pub. Date: 2007-03-12
Image Number: 16391
Caption: Penny for your thoughts, Lemont? The guy who restocked the Death Star's snack machines didn't have to die, Susan. Lando didn't care about the little people. I want a refund.
     
Result page:     (15 images)