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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about mothers.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-28 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-28 Pub. Date: 2019-11-28
Image Number: 180581
Caption: Hi Momma, what time should we be there for Thanksgiving dinner? Well, we would be me, Lionel, Clyde and Susan. No, Momma, of course I didn't say Clyde! Mumbled it. Whachoomean they ain't no Thanksgiving this year? It's … a … pre leap-year related thing, Clyde.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-27 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-27 Pub. Date: 2019-11-27
Image Number: 180580
Caption: What do you mean you're gonna be all alone on Thanksgiving? Plans fell through, bruh. Erebody canceled. Peanut … Big Oatmeal … Clarence … I'd just chill wit' you at your momma house, but she think I'm a bad influence. She ain't never liked me. (Sigh) I've been telling you since we were eight, she did not poison your cranberry sauce. Your momma cold-blooded.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-08 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-08 Pub. Date: 2019-11-08
Image Number: 180282
Caption: Even after all these years, Momma still won't tell me who my father is. All I know is, she met him when she was a waitress at a casino in Vegans, back in the seventies. I feel like she owes it to me to tell me. Your mom gave you life, raised you all by herself, worked from sunup to sundown to give you everything you needed ... Yeah, she really does owe you something. Glad you agree.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-13 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-13 Pub. Date: 2019-07-13
Image Number: 178425
Caption: Did you see that video where important world leaders are talking at the G-20 … and wondering why the heck Donald Trump's daughter is trying to be part of their conversation? It triggered me. It brought back that time in college where I found myself at the same party with Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. I interjected with a pretty enlightening Sanford and Son analogy, and things got awkward. Why is you still talkin'?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-06 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-06 Pub. Date: 2019-07-06
Image Number: 178395
Caption: So your mom self-published your rough draft to Amazon, costing you a six-figure book deal you already had. Why on earth are you smiling? She did it by accident. She thought she was just making a copy for herself. In any case, it means Momma loves my work. That's a really sweet attitude, Lemont. I'm proud of you. And for the rest of the time, I'll have something to throw in her face when she guilt-trips me.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-05 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-05 Pub. Date: 2019-07-05
Image Number: 178394
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I emailed Momma the rough draft of my memoir. I just wanted to know if my recollection of the scandalous patty-cake incident from preschool was accurate. Momma self-published it on Amazon. My book agent's furious, and two publishers have retracted their six-figure bids! On the bright side, now you have a story for your next memoir. She title it Look at What my Baby Wrote.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-10 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-10 Pub. Date: 2019-06-10
Image Number: 178020
Caption: … So I said Yeah, I self-publish my own books. You know why? … Because it's not 1950 anymore. By self-publishing I keep all the profits. And since most people buy online, I can sell just as many books as a traditional publisher … So stop mocking for it. Bruh ... that was no way to talk to your momma.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-07 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-07 Pub. Date: 2019-06-07
Image Number: 177956
Caption: Hi, Momma. Yes, The Giving Tree book you send Lionel did just arrive. Well … we didn't call to thank you because it just got her 20 minutes ago. Well … Yes, actually, calling you in 19 minutes ago would have been too much trouble, because we were racing out to get to day care in time. Well ... yes, I do remember how long you were in labor. But I don't see what that ahs to do with -- well ...
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-26 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177771
Caption: One of my readers asked me Why do I sense such anger in you? What'd you say? I said That's probably because I'm not a sociopath. I said When people die because they can't afford health insurance, I care. When we tell kids they're nothing without college and then saddle them with loans they can never repay ... I care. When people figure out all sorts of ways to keep black people from voting, I care ... When poor people are being lied to about whether their water is safe to drink, I care. When our President separates toddlers and babies from their asylum-seeking mothers for months, I care. And because I care, I'm angered. I bet being a sociopath is relaxing. I'll relax when there's not more police brutality. Shut up, I'm trying to relax.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-12 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-12 Pub. Date: 2019-05-12
Image Number: 177592
Caption: So I told her my theory that every day is technically a Sun-day since it's only a day because there's a sun … but she still made me go to school. My mama doesn't understand philosophy either.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-16 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-16 Pub. Date: 2019-02-16
Image Number: 176286
Caption: One of my readers got really upset when I pointed out Aristotle's many mistakes. She said Aristotle may have been wrong about everything … but he created the scientific method that other people used to prove he was wrong about everything. Fair point. So what did you say? What else could I say? I said It's 3 a.m. Momma, please stop calling me about this. I think your phone is ringing.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-07 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-07 Pub. Date: 2018-11-07
Image Number: 174822
Caption: 1982. Did your mommy vote yesterday, Lemont? Of course. Momma always votes. She said it's her civic doodie, which I found particularly hilarious. She asked why I was laughing. I said Momma, you just got through telling me there was a whole movement that led to you having that doodie. Don't tell me, she told you to stop it. Grownups just can't appreciate sophisticated humor.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-25 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174603
Caption: Momma, why can't you watch Lionel for me? It's only two weeks. I have an important story to go cover. What do you mean you don't have the energy? … Yes, yes I know you're not 22 anymore, but you … Yes, Yes I know you're not 23 anymore. But … Yes, I know you're not 24 -- Are we going to go through every number there is? ... No, I'm not saying you're that old. Hello? Are you still there?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-27 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-27 Pub. Date: 2018-08-27
Image Number: 173788
Caption: Now that the airduct … or whatever it was … had led me back to 2018 … I was moments away from finally interviewing a toddler in one of Trump's internment camps. I could hear him, just around the corner. He was sobbing. He was hysterical. He was calling out for his mother. He was just around the corner ... But so were the armed guards. By the time I got the glue, the fake beard and the janitor disguise, the child's cries had stopped. Wait ... back up. I almost blew my cover when I lost control of the spinny-mop thing and it dragged me down the hall.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-21 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-21 Pub. Date: 2018-06-21
Image Number: 172357
Caption: Hi, momma. Yes, I know I didn't call you last week. I was in Singapore covering the North Korea summit. Yes, I know how you like to see videos of your grandbaby. But I was in Singapore, so … Yes, momma, they have the internet in Singapore. But I was a little busy covering the brutal tyrant and the president. (Sigh) No, momma, I'm pretty sure I haven't used that excuse before .... Hello?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-17 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-17 Pub. Date: 2018-03-17
Image Number: 169398
Caption: Whachoomean little man with his momma? I thought you had full custody. An' I thought you said she an evil vampire. Lionel's been asking to visit his mom for a while now. I don't want to deny him that, even if the court says I can. Besides, people are different things to different people. Just 'cause she's evil toward me, that doesn't mean she's evil toward him. Didn't you say she once tried to have you assassinated? That was just a misunderstanding.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-24 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168665
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-27 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167655
Caption: Hi momma, how are you doing? It's Lemont. Your son. What do you mean it can't be. It is. What do you mean the real Lemont is busy sending me videos of my grandson like he promised. I did send you videos. What do you mean they don't work? Did you press play? What do you mean ... (sigh) Did you press the triangle? (Sigh) No, momma, I can't just send a VHS.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-29 mother 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165419
Caption: I did a quick Google search. You've got nothing to worry about, Susan. It doesn't have to be dementia. You mom's memory loss could be caused by anything. Lack of sleep … medicines … underactive thyroid … stress and anxiety … depression … alcohol … you know your mom likes her brandy ... Not that I'm saying your mom might be an alcoholic ... although if you find a bunch of bottles hidden under her bed, it might comfort you ... or not ... I'm going to stop talking now.
     
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