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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (28 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-18 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-18 Pub. Date: 2018-05-18
Image Number: 171505
Caption: Last week, I called NASA to ask why they'd suddenly canceled yet another moon mission Whachoomean another moon mission? You still believe we ever went to the moon? NASA say they erased the original footage so they could reuse the tape for other @#$%. You believe that, bruh? It could happen. I taped over my high school graduation by accident. I know you think highly of yourself, but your graduation wasn't the most important moment in the history of mankind.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-09 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171291
Caption: This is NASA. If you're calling to ask why we abruptly canceled our lunar rover mission, press 1. Otherwise, press 2. Boop. If you're a normal human, press 2. Otherwise, press 1. Boop. We have done as you commanded. We won't go anywhere near the polar region. Please accept our apology. Please?? Oh. Wait ... my bad. I thought I'd be pressing 2. If you're a normal human who mistakenly pressed 1, please stay right where you are. Can't we just pretend I pressed 2.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-18 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137944
Caption: Hi stranger … nice day out, isn't it? The eagle has landed. What? … Hey, you aren't meeting up with someone to do something shady, are you? Sounds like you're usin' code words or something. You can do better with your life, young man. That ain't even close to "The fat man walk alone." (Sigh) ... If you don't like talking to strangers, just say so. So.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-13 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-13 Pub. Date: 2016-01-13
Image Number: 137665
Caption: Behold! I have a plan for you. What? Who that? I am the Lord they God. And I have a plan for you, my child. Well what is it? I was just about to get to that. Clyde, I command thee to go forth and spread … I ain't got all night. Hurry up. Never mind, bruh. I lost interest. That's ok, somehow I've lost my train of thought anyway.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-22 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-22 Pub. Date: 2015-12-22
Image Number: 136829
Caption: I know where we should go for our double date, Susan. We should go see "Star Wars." We can all dress up. I'll go as Lando Calrissian, you would go as Cinnabon Leia, and your date could go as Jek Porkins. Porkins was that x-wing guy who didn't last two minutes in his mission over the Death Star. It's kind of appropriate, when you think about it. Hey, I've had a few long ... ish ... term relationships.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-30 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-30 Pub. Date: 2014-01-30
Image Number: 106769
Caption: I vaguely recall that I was summoned here, to life, on official business. Like I have an important part to play in some big deal … … But I've been sitting in this lobby a long time with my briefcase, waiting to be called into the meeting room. I have a feeling they've forgotten I'm out here. I'm sorry, are you still talking?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-31 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-31 Pub. Date: 2011-07-31
Image Number: 63739
Caption: Last month, I watched NASA launch the very last space shuttle mission, ever. It's been a whole month and I haven't heard anyone even talk about it. I remember watching the first shuttle launch, when I was six. It pre-empted Romper room. That's how big a deal it was. We don't dream big as a country anymore. We don't believe we can rebuild our roads, let alone get to Mars. I see ... Dreaming is over. This still doesn't explain why you're stuck on a girl who treats you badly. When you deserve so much more. If the country doesn't dream big, why should I?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-05 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-05 Pub. Date: 2011-05-05
Image Number: 60510
Caption: Does the petitioner have anything to add, before I hear from opposing counsel? No, your honor, I think we can safely say "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." What's wrong? That phrase … It's … oh, never mind. I guess it's before your time. Carry on. I say to opposing counsel ... No! Don't say "br.. BRING IT ON!!!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-15 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-15 Pub. Date: 2011-04-15
Image Number: 59640
Caption: Lemont? I’m sorry I'm messing up your custody case. But I'll do better, honest! Your son should get to be with his dad. Especially since you're not in Afghanistan. What? Mommy says I can't meet my dad 'cause he's in Afghanistan driving soldiers all over in a big metal truck. She says he used to drive them from the base to their missions, but now he drives them from Earth and heaven. ... Oh. How much gas do you think that takes?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-05 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-05 Pub. Date: 2009-06-05
Image Number: 34735
Caption: I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets. I assure you we are on a mission of peace. Grumble. The current administration shouldn't prosecute anyone who ordered the torture of war criminals. And that is by no means a self-serving argument. I sense hostility, Captain. I don't believe any of that ever happened, Lemont. WELL IT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-13 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-13 Pub. Date: 2008-11-13
Image Number: 28013
Caption: …So then I was almost eaten by a man-eating tiger. That's nice. You know what I had to do while you were on vacation? I wasn't on vacation! I was embedded on a dangerous rescue mission in the jungles of Vietnam! I had to explain to our son why you weren't around to teach him to shave. He's one!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-04 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-04 Pub. Date: 2008-11-04
Image Number: 27819
Caption: So whatchoo doin' here, blood? I'm a journalist sent to cover the rescue of John McCain's lost honor. No, I mean whatchoo doin' here. This here the Starbucks at the end o' the world. Nothin' can find this place unless it's lost. Or abandoned. You mean "No one," right? Pass the chocolate espresso beans. The right to vote.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-24 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-24 Pub. Date: 2008-10-24
Image Number: 27504
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 17: This is the end. The river's end. To rescue John McCain's honor from a prison camp. Only one problem. There is no prison camp. But I am the spirit of investigative journalism incarnate. I, and I alone, can defy nature and the gods themselves to track down my prey. Hey, I found his honor, it's over at Starbucks. And will you quite doing that?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-20 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-20 Pub. Date: 2008-10-20
Image Number: 27500
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day 15: Boat stopped so we could waste film on a tourist attraction. Authentic Fisherman. Rookies. Nerves causing dumb mistakes. Oh snap! I only have one shot left! At this rate, we'll never rescue McCain's honor from that camp upriver. Can't waste. Must... stay... till I can get perfect shot. Maybe animatronic fish glinting in sunset. Or maybe... (Click). What the @#$%?! I told you not to stop the boat.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-15 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-15 Pub. Date: 2008-10-15
Image Number: 27400
Caption: Anderson Cooper, I don't even know what I'm doing here in Vietnam. I guess I thought being an embedded journalist might make my dad proud enough to finally contact me. I have an idea, Brown. Let's stand around in enemy territory and have a heartfelt talk about your abandonment issues. I thought that's what we were already doin-- Move out, Brown!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-14 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-14 Pub. Date: 2008-10-14
Image Number: 27399
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: How are we going to rescue John McCain's lost honor from that prison camp with this crew of misfits? Asian Tax Shelter. Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris. I won't even go there. Then there's Lemont Brown, the other embedded journalist. "Big L" is from some urban spit hole... Snap! ...and I think the light and space of Vietnam really put a zap on his brain. What in God's name is that crazy smell? Trees.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-10 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-10 Pub. Date: 2008-10-10
Image Number: 27223
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: Our guide was one of those guys who had that weird light around him. Glow-in-dark iPOD. $99 at Target. We felt safe with him. Don't eat at that Taco Bell. Bad cheese. Nodung River that way, behind Starbuck! Go! Save John McCain honor from fetid prison camp! He knew the ways of the natives. Because he was one. Mmm... I love the smell of hazelnut latte in the morning.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-09 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-09 Pub. Date: 2008-10-09
Image Number: 27222
Caption: September 24th, 2008… We monitored it out of Ha Long. It's been verified as the voice of John McCain's honor. Please, please, don't show me any more of my own lying campaign ads! I beg you! Then let's go over your involvement in the "Keating Five" one more time. NNNOOOOO!!! Shut it off. We'll save him. Or die trying. Do you mean that literally? 'cause...
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-07 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-07 Pub. Date: 2008-10-07
Image Number: 27220
Caption: Anderson Cooper, are you in there? Whu…what are the charges? What'd I do? No charges. Our mission's come through. We're to accompany Delta Force up the Nodung River to rescue John McCain's long-lost honor. Only one problem… The Bush is over-run with Charlie. No, Delta Force was needed in Afghanistan, so-- Hi, I'm Chuck Norris. You may know me from such films as Delta Force, and Delta Force 2, The Colombia Connection.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-06 mission 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-06 Pub. Date: 2008-10-06
Image Number: 27219
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day II: Saigon, Spit. I'm still only in Saigon. Covering the rescue of John McCain's long-lost honor from a jungle prison for CNN. Been here for a week now, waiting for Delta Force. I'm getting SOFT. Riiiight… Listen, I'll be in Starbucks. Jungle calls to me. Somewhere a story is bleeding. I'll get you a frappuccino.
     
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