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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2019-05-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-05-20 Pub. Date: 2019-05-20
Image Number: 177712
Caption: The Chorus. In harmony, Trump, Barr, Mnuchin, and, hitting the high notes, Miss Lindsey. No collusion. No FBI. No IRS.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2019-01-18 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-01-18 Pub. Date: 2019-01-18
Image Number: 175912
Caption: Kurds in the Way. So we came up with a humorous line on the Syria situation. You say we had the situation under control but the Kurds got in the way. What? A little humor to alleviate the tension. Like the poem - Miss Muffet was eating her curds and whey. Sitting on her tuffet. Her tuffet? What's she look like, this Muffet woman? Cute? Nice tuffet? Nice young tuffet? No ... uh. I wouldn't mind some good-looking young Muffet around here. Especially when I'm here all alone. Grab 'em by the tuffet, you know? But ... So good idea. Send over this Muffet honey. Sitting on her tuffet. Good one. She like hamburgers? Wait ... she ... ? 'Cause we got some hamburgers left over from those football players. I can't eat them all myself. What were you saying about Syria? Not that I care. M.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2019-01-12 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-01-12 Pub. Date: 2019-01-12
Image Number: 175861
Caption: Countdown to Brexit. Mrs. May's Old Spotted Brexit. Fully licensed. Closing Mar. 20 (maybe). Theresa. I wondered if there was enough time left for me to have perhaps another glass of wine before Brexit? Oh, no worries, guv'nor, plenty of time left, all the time in the world, days, months, years, right, miss? Shut up!
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-11-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-11-20 Pub. Date: 2018-11-20
Image Number: 175114
Caption: The Saudi Family Business. House of Saud. Butchers since 1744. Deliveries. I miss the old days when we could bring these people in the front door. Critics. Enemies.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-11-15 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-11-15 Pub. Date: 2018-11-15
Image Number: 175027
Caption: Miss Lindsey. Now, boys, ah told y'all mah position on the Justice Department yesterday … Yes, Senator Graham, but we wondered what it was today?
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-10-22 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-10-22 Pub. Date: 2018-10-22
Image Number: 174664
Caption: Well, he's an important ally … Deals. Saudis.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-10-14 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-10-14 Pub. Date: 2018-10-14
Image Number: 174512
Caption: The Sawdis.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-10-11 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-10-11 Pub. Date: 2018-10-11
Image Number: 174451
Caption: The Saudi School of Journalism. Well, we were on a deadline.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-05-29 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 172035
Caption: Sinkhole Appears on White House Lawn, in other news, Melania is missing …
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-01-05 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-01-05 Pub. Date: 2018-01-05
Image Number: 167120
Caption: Senator Orrin Hatch Announces His Retirement. What am I going to do? Where am I going to find people to crap on? Where am I going to find powerful people to kiss up to? Where am I going to find corporations who will give me money to push laws they want, and to kill regulations they don't want? Where am I going to find judges who will suck up to me if I promise to appoint them so they can take care of my friends? Where am I going to find people who will pretend I'm not an egotistical crook on a global scale? Where ... where ... where? God, I am going to miss this job.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-22 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-22 Pub. Date: 2017-10-22
Image Number: 164187
Caption: From Catch 22* "Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. _______: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father, or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action." Got those letter ready fro me to sign, Sarah? FOX. *From Chapter 31, Catch 22, with apologies to Joseph Heller.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-01 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157724
Caption: The Good Old Days. I miss my old life … Don't we all … Happy Hour is over.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-20 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154967
Caption: Nixon in the Underworld. It's the Republican party … they miss you. DNR. Add oil daily.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-01-04 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137525
Caption: Bill Is Back. Hey! I'm back! Didja miss me? Um … yes … and I never thought I would. Hey! It's me. The big dog! I'm back! Whoopee! Parrrteee!
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-12-31 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137510
Caption: The Secret Service and It's Discontents. Aw … come one … don't tell me somebody stole my badge and ID again! These terrorists gotta be stopped! And my liberry card, too? Aw, come on … I'd like to report a missing gun. The owner is a secret, and the type of gun is a secret, and could you please keep this a secret, too? Ok, so, we are guarding the ... uh ... the president of ... well, you know, and we are prepared to throw our bodies into the line of fire as soon as we figger out where he is. Shhh ... that's a secret, too.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-22 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-22 Pub. Date: 2015-10-22
Image Number: 134325
Caption: Paul Ryan Extracts Promises from Fellow Republicans. I believe I distinctly said I wanted a three-minute egg every morning. This is a two-minute egg! Take it back or suffer the consequences. Yessir, Mr. Ryan, sir, yessir … God, I Miss Boehner … I know. A pack of Camels, and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, and he was happy ... Ryan says oh, ok ... Romney (crossed out). Ryan.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-07-18 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-07-18 Pub. Date: 2015-07-18
Image Number: 130107
Caption: Trump on McCain. Nah, McCain is not a hero! He's a freakin' failure. Got his plane shot down. He's a loser. He's fired. What I woulda done? I woulda had my best negotiators in there. Sold these gooks a $25 million apartment, then done a deal for a freakin' golf course. Why? Because I'm smart, see? Yeah, and people love me. The freakin' gooks love me ... Etc. Hi, everybody! Miss Green Card 2005. Hanoi Hilton.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-17 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-17 Pub. Date: 2015-03-17
Image Number: 124553
Caption: Putin Returns After Being Missing for Over a Week. Look mother, it is our beloved Pootin, come back to us! Pooty-cat! We were so worried! Where have you been? Shut up you peasant swine. Where's my food?
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-14 miss 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 116645
Caption: Palin Family Fights Its Way Our of Snowmobile Club Brawl. Amazingly no video available. Left to right more or less, Todd, nearly vice-president Sarah, Pistol, Jello, Flack, and at top, that turkey guy. (Missing, John McCain). Arctic Cat. Yamaha. Kawasaki. Polaris. $ Mom. Kilroy was here. Ed's Snow Machines. Ski-Doo.
     
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