This year, I will become a better person. That's a low bar. I just can't sit by and watch corporate America outsource jobs. Are you serious? Big businesses are cutting pension funds and health care benefits. They're contributing to the greatest income gap between laborers and management that we've seen since the depression. This year, I vow to do a better job. Of? Joining corporate America in crushing the little guy. I just pray I have the strength to see this through. I vow to wilt like a lily.
Boss … I need to take a few months off for paternity leave. That's commendable. I'm all for fathers taking an active role in their children's lives. It's good for the health of our economy. Take all the time you need, as long as the "baby" you're talking about isn't a kitten, a houseplant or some video game where you raise a simulation of a baby. I'd like to withdraw my request. I thought you might, minion.