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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about May Day .

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-20 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-20 Pub. Date: 2019-04-20
Image Number: 177225
Caption: So you're worried that you may no longer be attractive to the opposite sex. Dr. Noodle. That's entirely normal. I felt that way myself at your age. M.A. You did? Sure. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and realize you're not a stallion anymore. Your coat is greying, and your saddle is too tight. When do you get to be the helpful part? M.A. The trick is realizing that a donkey can be just as beautiful ... ish.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-01 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-01 Pub. Date: 2019-01-01
Image Number: 175657
Caption: I read your article about how 13,000 or so years ago, an apocalyptic catastrophe cause an ice age that lasted 1,000 years. The Younger Dryas cold period. And 1,000 years later, that ice age suddenly ended, maybe in a single day, causing a global flood. It would explain the sudden disappearance of a lot of megalithic civilizations ... the end of Atlantis ... all the ancient flood myths ... we may have come close to extinction. I'm just saying, there've been worse years. 2018 wasn't that bad, Lemon.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-03 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-03 Pub. Date: 2018-12-03
Image Number: 175262
Caption: I saw Clerks the other day. I don't get why you said it's the best movie ever. What? I said that way back in 1994, Susan. You're thinking in three dimensions. But we live in a four-dimensional world. Everything has four coordinates, one of which is time. It may be dates now, but in 1994 when it came out, Clerks was the best movie ever. I highly doubt that. 2018 Susan cannot argue with 1994 Lemont. It's scientifically impossible.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-11 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153088
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me … We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-19 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-19 Pub. Date: 2016-06-19
Image Number: 144283
Caption: Hello, you've reached Dubble Cross Health Insurance. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? Hi, Ryan. I just got a bill form you for $850. It says it's for "professional services." But I'm not with Dubble Cross. I have Czar Health Insurance. That's right, but it says here you used the emergency room the same week you switched from us to Czar. So when they billed your visit to us, you weren't actually covered by us. So you have to pay us back. What're you taking about? I used the emergency room on the last day of December, and I'd already paid you my dues for December, so I was covered! Our billing cycle ends the day before the last day of the month, sir. Since when, Ryan?! Since we realized people wouldn't know that.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-03 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-03 Pub. Date: 2016-05-03
Image Number: 142719
Caption: You look awful. When's the last time you got some sleep? 154 hours ago. Dios mio, Lemont! That could kill you! What are you thinking?! I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, I'll have this dream that I don't want to have. Well you can't go six days with not sleep! That might be what killed Prince! Even just three days is enough to make people hallucinate! You've got to sleep! She may have a point. No she doesn't.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-01 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-01 Pub. Date: 2016-05-01
Image Number: 142176
Caption: Hi "Vancouver," I've missed you during the 30 minutes we weren't talking. I've missed you too, "Candorville." I'm about to get on the train. I wish I were getting on that train with you. A. Want to spend the day with me? Of course, cutie!!! Ok. I've turned on the camera. Do you see the train pulling up? I see it. Where do you want to sit, Princess Leia? On your lap, of course, Han Solo. Cellphones on laps may cause sterility, snookums. @#$% long-distance relationships.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-06 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139630
Caption: Hi Elmer, election day is almost here! You may remember that we helped you register to vote at a student even at University of Texas at Austin. "Elmer"? This election is the most important election someone in your community has ever faced. Now is your chance to take control for all Antarctic-Americans and really weigh in on the issues you indicated matter most to you ... such as "climate change," "wool sweater importation tariffs," and "penguin-albatross miscegenation." Can we count on you to vote, Mr. Fudd? Bruh, I ain't never been to University of Texas in Austin. Somebody done clowned you with the wrong number. But we gave you a free frisbee. An' what the @#$% I care about "penguin-albatross miscegenation"? Love is love.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-07 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-07 Pub. Date: 2015-12-07
Image Number: 136219
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Absolutely nothing, Susan. That's the problem. I had a really hot date today, my latest article was shared 3 million times on Facebook, my son just learned his name, and I found out I'm in perfect health. But the worst part was, just now I found a $20 bill in my pocket. Can't you let yourself be happy just once? I may have used up all my good luck for the week in just one day.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-04 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2015-08-04
Image Number: 130584
Caption: Did you hear, Clyde? It's looking more and more like the EM drive may actually work! It could get from earth to the moon in four hours. It could reach Mars in 70 days. It could reach the nearest star in just 100 years! Don't you see? This is the "impulse drive" from Star Trek! This is the "Epstein drive" from The Expanse, only it's real! It could be the most important development in human history. Yet everyone's still talking about Donald Trump. When you talk geek, it make me physically ill, bruh.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-14 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-14 Pub. Date: 2015-01-14
Image Number: 121386
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me ... We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-20 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-20 Pub. Date: 2013-11-20
Image Number: 104084
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-11).
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-11 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-11 Pub. Date: 2012-04-11
Image Number: 79196
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-04 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-04 Pub. Date: 2011-12-04
Image Number: 73141
Caption: I realized something today. It's been months since I checked my email to see if Kelly had written to me. Dr. Noodle. I used to check every day. Sometimes a dozen times a day. And when she did write, my heart would scratch at the door and run around in circle after circle till I grabbed it's leash to calm it down. I would live for those rare, precious emails where she'd tell me she's thinking of me and loves me with all her heart. But now I've gone months without even checking, doctor, MONTHS. For the last time, no you may not borrow my computer. But the one at the library is still broken!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-08-19 May Day 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-08-20 Pub. Date: 2007-08-19
Image Number: 18322
Caption: You've reached Czar Health Insurance. How may we hinder you? I'm Lemont Brown. I signed up for health insurance last month. I'd like to know why I just got a hospital bill for $185,000. Simple, Mr. Brown. You spent 14 days in intensive care. You were billed for that because we don't cover pre-existing conditions. Pre-exist.. What? I got hit by a bus. I know. Sounds horrible. But these things are part of life. Wouldn't you agree? Yeah, its .... Wait a minute, you're not saying ... Life is a pre-existing condition.
     
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