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The Marriage Comics And Cartoons

collected from fifty of the best cartoonists.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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301. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mike Peters' Editorial Cartoons 2004-02-07 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mike Peters' Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-19 Pub. Date: 2004-02-07
Image Number: 6528
Caption: How about a ban on no-sex marriages?
302. Cartoonist Rina Piccolo  Rina Piccolo's Panel Cartoons 2009-09-12 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Rina Piccolo
Comic/Cartoon: Rina Piccolo's Panel Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2009-09-12
Image Number: 40010
Caption: Okay, your mother's gone - Can we put it away now?
303. Cartoonist Liza Donnelly  Liza Donnelly's Panel Cartoons 2011-05-11 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Liza Donnelly
Comic/Cartoon: Liza Donnelly's Panel Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2011-05-11
Image Number: 74290
Caption: May I recommend the smoked trout and a quick divorce.
304. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-04-03 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156477
Caption: Allison from my bridge club and her boyfriend are getting married. That's great! What are you giving them? … About three months.
305. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-02 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155710
Caption: You realize we've been fighting in Afghanistan for fifteen years now? The war's old enough to get a work permit. The war's old enough to get married in seven states, with parental consent. The Candorville Chronicle. Trump Hotel Mars not cause of NASA … The war's old enough to be held criminally liable for breaking the law. It's old enough to roll its eyes at its parents and think they don't know anything about anything. Dems consider, reject change. The Afghanistan war is old enough to have read Orwell's "1984," in which he wrote "The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous." Wait ... we're still in Afghanistan? The war is old enough to Google that quote and find out Orwell didn't really write that.
306. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-04-01 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-04-01 Pub. Date: 2017-04-01
Image Number: 155924
Caption: Last month I told my boyfriend how rich my grandmother is. Salon. Yeah … ? This Saturday he's going to become my step grandfather.
307. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-30 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156206
Caption: I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.
308. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-03-29 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 155921
Caption: I wish I could meet the right girl and get married. This says half of all marriages end in divorce. And 65% of divorced men get remarried. So my chances are better if I get divorced first!
309. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
310. Cartoonist Winsor McCay  In the Land of Wonderful Dreams 1911-00-00 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Winsor McCay
Comic/Cartoon: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams
Viewable Date: 2017-03-22 Pub. Date: 1911-00-00
Image Number: 2696
Caption: Midsummer day dreams. Yep! I'll go to Europe and look for one! I can not find a wife to suit me here in America! I'll look through Europe! Well, here I am in Europe! Ha! There is the kind of wife I want ! I'll propose to her! Ahem! I mean it! Marry me and go to America with me to live! Yah! Do you take this woman to be your lawful wife to love honor and obey her as a husband and_ I certainly do! Sure Mike! You sit quietly. I will be alright in a minute! You are quite a load but I can manage! I came all the way from America to marry you. I hope I am not to be disappointed! I guess you woman are all alike! You can not seem to understand a man! Now you're doing nicley._Um! Now I'll look up the markets! They think this is a new style from Europe! I think for so many woman are_Oh! OH! Yes! You're no better than American women! Oh! Were you asleep? I did not mean to disturb you, Rosie! Yes, I was asleep and I dreamed I was married to a rich American broker! Oh! It was funny!
311. Cartoonist John Deering  Strange Brew 2017-03-21 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2017-03-21 Pub. Date: 2017-03-21
Image Number: 155932
Caption: I'm getting married. You're gonna need a bigger hat.
312. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2017-03-21 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2017-03-21 Pub. Date: 2017-03-21
Image Number: 155659
Caption: Mz. Goose, how come you never got married? Well Rose … I never like to make the same mistake once.
313. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-13 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155652
Caption: My wife keeps trying to get me to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop yelling at the kids … stop forgetting her birthday, stop insulting her mother, and stop leaving the seat up. So I told her "if you really love someone, you don't try to fundamentally transform them." And what'd she say? She said I could fundamentally transform the couch into my bed. Time.
314. Cartoonist Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2017-03-11 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2017-03-11 Pub. Date: 2017-03-11
Image Number: 156097
Caption: Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!
315. Cartoonist Greg Evans  Luann 2017-03-01 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2017-03-01 Pub. Date: 2017-03-01
Image Number: 154621
Caption: Once I'm a movie star, I'll have a ton of men. I'll be married long before you will. Yeah. Because you have no standards. Kids 1st. Yes, I do! I want a rich, powerful man who looks good - but not better - next to me at the Oscars. My, such lofty standards. Then, my second husband - Wait - How many do you plan to have? Depends who my leading men are.
316. Cartoonist Mike Peters  Mike Peters' Editorial Cartoons 2003-05-25 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mike Peters' Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-01 Pub. Date: 2003-05-25
Image Number: 4024
Caption: �In sickness and in health or at least as long as there's a tax break for married couples.
317. Cartoonist Greg Evans  Luann 2017-02-28 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2017-02-28 Pub. Date: 2017-02-28
Image Number: 154620
Caption: Brad's wedding must have been sad for your parents. I guess. Seeing him all grown up … starting a new life with his new bride. Kids 1st. No, I mean sad that you'll be living with them forever. I doubt you'll ever be married. Tiffany, I've actually been in a serious relationship, have you? Many! Lots and lots and ... Nuh-uh. I'm talking quality here, not quantity.
318. Cartoonist Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2010-07-31 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2010-07-31
Image Number: 50086
Caption: I got a few things to help me sleep. A breathing strip, earplugs, eye mask and a super pillow. Nighty night, honey. Now I can't sleep.
319. Cartoonist Steve Kelley  Steve Kelley's Editorial Cartoons 2004-05-21 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley
Comic/Cartoon: Steve Kelley's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2004-05-21
Image Number: 7371
Caption: You know what seems weird about a guy marrying another guy? Two men unafraid of commitment? Bingo.
320. Cartoonist Liza Donnelly  Liza Donnelly's Panel Cartoons 2012-03-16 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Liza Donnelly
Comic/Cartoon: Liza Donnelly's Panel Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-13 Pub. Date: 2012-03-16
Image Number: 77762
Caption: "You know I love you, even though I don't retweet you."
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