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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (39 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-13 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-13 Pub. Date: 2017-07-13
Image Number: 160480
Caption: Mr. Pence takes advantage of the President's trip to France. He never measures the drapes in the company of a woman other than his wife.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-14 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 150082
Caption: Melania. Help!
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-29 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-29 Pub. Date: 2016-07-29
Image Number: 146777
Caption: Russians Hack Into Trump's Tax Returns. He's not as rich as he said he was … do we tell the Democrats? … or Melania?
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-21 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-21 Pub. Date: 2016-06-21
Image Number: 146005
Caption: Donald Trump said to have less money than he claimed. The old pre-nupper.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-03-15 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140708
Caption: Missus Trump. I just realized that if Donald gets elected, I'll have to stay married to him for four years … maybe eight! Hmmm … eight years that was not … not in my business plan.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-26 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 140020
Caption: Texas Babes on the Election. Jax. Best beer in town. Well, ah can't vote fer Ted Cruz. He reminds me of my no-good first husband. And ah cain't vote fer Rubio. He reminds me of my third son. And ah cain't vote fer Trump. He reminds me of Rick Perry.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-08 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-08 Pub. Date: 2016-02-08
Image Number: 139112
Caption: Christie and Rubio and Spectators. So, my dear wife, you see why I never attacked Chris Christie. Yes, my dear green card, I mean, husband … Me. Him.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-15 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 135469
Caption: Progress. My wife has decided to go into politics. Very progressive of you, old man …
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-27 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-27 Pub. Date: 2015-10-27
Image Number: 134589
Caption: Father Pat and Father Mike Explain Catholic Dissent on Same Sex Marriage. Ah, yes, well Pope Francis has some interesting opinions about same sex marriage, casting aside centuries of established theology. Naturally yez can marry each other for all we care, and when you die you'll find out who was right. Yez can discuss it as you burn in hell for eternity. You can discuss with yer man Francis. He'll be there with ye!
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-26 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-26 Pub. Date: 2015-06-26
Image Number: 129242
Caption: And now the Distinguished Jurist Antonin Scalia Interprets the Law. This is jiggery-plobbaly! It's foomaly-broggaly! It's rammily-dingdongery! Scrabb rabbily. But they don't know who they are dealing with! I have a plan! I'll hold my breath until I explode! C'mon Alito, hold your breat with me ... um ...
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-24 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-24 Pub. Date: 2015-05-24
Image Number: 128851
Caption: Ireland Votes to Allow Same Sex Marriage … and what's so amazing about that? I've been married to Arthur here for years, and very happy, too. O'Doolin's. Guinness.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-28 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-28 Pub. Date: 2015-04-28
Image Number: 126770
Caption: Same Sex Marriage Perplexes Supreme Court Right Wing. Good lord, Clarence, this would mean that even you and I could get married? You mean we're not?
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-02-10 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-02-10 Pub. Date: 2015-02-10
Image Number: 122952
Caption: In Alabama, Same Sex Marriages Run Into Local Resistance. You sure we gotta give them a marriage license? I don't feel it's the Alabama way … Well, look on the good side. At least they're the same color … Marriage Licenses.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-03 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-03 Pub. Date: 2013-11-03
Image Number: 103713
Caption: The New US Army Now Allows Same Sex Marriage .. But other things don't change. Would you and the missus like some more sh*t on your shingles? C Company Mess Hall.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-21 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-21 Pub. Date: 2013-10-21
Image Number: 103128
Caption: Same Sex Marriage Now Legal in New Jersey. Ok … Does youse two mint-flavored goombahs, promise t'love, honah, an' obey, f'bettah or f'worse, in sickness an' in helt, 'til death or some sort of unfortunate unsolved incident should occur out in the meadowlands south of D'vince Lombardi service area ... ... Do youse part? Fredo's Concrete. One Size Fits All. Now kiss d'freakin' bride.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-14 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-14 Pub. Date: 2013-06-14
Image Number: 98362
Caption: The Murdochs Split Up, but Not Before a Parting Shot by the Rupester.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-24 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-24 Pub. Date: 2013-04-24
Image Number: 96278
Caption: Same Sex Marriage Now Legal in France and Perhaps the Colonies. Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. And maybe, hee-hee, who knows?
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-02 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-02 Pub. Date: 2013-04-02
Image Number: 95421
Caption: Repbulicans are evolving. We gotta stop this gay marriage thing! WEll ... Whaddya mean well? I don't know ... my position is evolving. Marriage should be based on love. If two people love each other what difference does it make? And you know since I've evolved I'm happier, I have hopes, I've lost weight. Look, I can fly! Damn ... I thought we were against evolution, too.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-26 marriage 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-26 Pub. Date: 2013-03-26
Image Number: 95168
Caption: Modern Grandma. So … when are you two going to get married?
     
Result page:    2  Next  (39 images)