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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about mankind .

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (51 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-19 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-19 Pub. Date: 2019-07-19
Image Number: 178563
Caption: Why you always thinkin' 'bout people goin' to Mars and whatnot, bruh? We should fix our own problems down here 'fore we go up there. Gah! I hate when people say that! Don't you know that mankind colonizing other planets might be the single most unifying thing we could ever do?! And the tech we create to keep us alive out there could clean up the earth! And ... You're just pushing my buttons on purpose! Has some time to kill while Youtube was loading.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-19 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-19 Pub. Date: 2019-06-19
Image Number: 178162
Caption: I read the President's going to start keeping migrant kids at Fort Sill … one of the concentration camps where we kept Japanese Americans during World War II. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Santayana. It's one of the most-repeated quotes ever ... which means all of mankind probably needs to see a ... what do you call a memory-doctor? I forget.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-13 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-13 Pub. Date: 2019-06-13
Image Number: 178023
Caption: I've narrowed down the list of who I want to write the foreword to my next book, Clyde. The ones that made the cut are Slimeball, Slippery James, Puppet Jones, Lamb the Sham, McMuffin, Fat Jerry, Crazy Nancy, Wacky Jacky, Pencil Neck, Mr. Magoo, Dumb as a Rock, and Mr. Peepers. I would've chosen The Dumbest Man on Television, but he was kind of standoffish when we met. Psycho Joe was surprisingly friendly. In other words, you still upset the President ain't nicknamed you.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-17 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-17 Pub. Date: 2019-02-17
Image Number: 176076
Caption: Kelly Facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote Don't marry him! Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean mankind? What did I say?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-21 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-21 Pub. Date: 2018-09-21
Image Number: 174076
Caption: Where've you been all day, Clyde? Ruminatin', bruh. Your boy Socrates said There only one good: Knowledge; an' only one evil: ignorance. An' then my boy John Locke said No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience. Add them two together an' the sum of that equation be all mankind is evil. You're not supposed to mix philosophers. That's on the warning label.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-19 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-19 Pub. Date: 2018-05-19
Image Number: 171506
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. Sigh. Just put on Gilligan's Island.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-18 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-18 Pub. Date: 2018-05-18
Image Number: 171505
Caption: Last week, I called NASA to ask why they'd suddenly canceled yet another moon mission Whachoomean another moon mission? You still believe we ever went to the moon? NASA say they erased the original footage so they could reuse the tape for other @#$%. You believe that, bruh? It could happen. I taped over my high school graduation by accident. I know you think highly of yourself, but your graduation wasn't the most important moment in the history of mankind.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-05 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168180
Caption: You know my favorite part of the president's State of the Union speech? Tell me. The lame SJW response by that beta Congressman Joe Kennedy III. It was equal parts virtue-signaling, multiculturalism, political correctness, and run-of-the-mill snowflakery. (Sigh) ... labeling-away speech and people we don't like is one of mankind's oldest pastimes. Spoken like a typical, deep-state, crybaby, anti-neoreacitonaryist.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-10 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154241
Caption: Do you know why mankind is so susceptible to authoritarians, Rosencrantz? It's because our brains are wired to accept lies. Our conscious brain can eventually spot a lie. But for it to spot it, our unconscious brain first has to entertain it. And just as when you entertain a guest, there's a chance the guest will overstay his welcome, put up photos of his loved ones, and before you know it, he's moved in and you can't get rid of him. I'll say it one last time: I want my side of the sidewalk crack back, Tyrone. I don't know what you mean, I've always been on this side.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-08 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-08 Pub. Date: 2017-01-08
Image Number: 152421
Caption: Kelly facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote "don't marry him!" Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean "mankind"? What did I say?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-04 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150475
Caption: 1982. What do you think life'll be like in, say … 2012? Well if you look at the arc of mankind's progress, it'll be very different. We went from the Wright Brothers to the moon in just 66 years! At this rate, we'll have colonized Alpha Centauri and the Klingons by 2012. Plus, we'll all be rich. Momma says every generation does better than its parents. I'll probably be the first one in my family to ever own a home. Not on Mars, though, that'd just be ghetto. Wow, I can't wait till 2012!
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-26 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-26 Pub. Date: 2016-05-26
Image Number: 143640
Caption: The National Cartoonists Society is meeting in Memphis right now for the Reuben Awards. The what? It's like the Oscars for the cartooning industry. They give out awards for best comic strip, best animated movie, etc … What is it with people? In every single industry there is, you've got people hoping and dreaming for years that one day they'll be handed a rectangle with their names written on it. You're only saying this because you didn't win the Pulitzer this year. Mankind's rectangle fetish is beyond disturbing when you think about it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-28 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-28 Pub. Date: 2016-03-28
Image Number: 141133
Caption: Whachoo wanna watch, Big L? The end of hatred. I want to watch the end of terror, the end of war, the end of killing, the end of brutality. The end of people having to live in fear of other people. I want to watch mankind finally decide to just get along with itself. I don't think that be on. (Sigh) Just put on "Gilligan's Island."
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-28 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 138939
Caption: You're going to vote for Trump? He a man of action, dawg. Yeah. But what kind of action? What that matter? I'm tired of electin' people who can't get spit done. Do you like what he says he can get done? What that have to do with anything? What do you mean? It has everything to do with everything! If someone wants to accomplish awful things, you shouldn't want him to accomplish them. What if he said he was the only candidate on stage who could successfully build a puppy-melting death ray? Well ... probably can't Hillary build no death ray. She ain't never persuaded nobody to do nothin; noway. That's not the point!!!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-06 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-06 Pub. Date: 2015-09-06
Image Number: 131719
Caption: I want two things from our next president. First, I want him to be America's greatest cheerleader. I want him to constantly say that America is "exceptional." I don't want him focusing on "police brutality" and all the other things that make us look bad. I want him to make sure the whole world knows that the USA is the best place to live that there's ever been, in the whole history of mankind. What's the second thing you want? I want him to do something about all the foreigners who're so desperate to come live here that they can't wait a few measly decades to do it legally. Exoneration Nation. But ... I thought you wanted him to make America seem like it's the only place worth living. Not in an invitationy way ... more as a "nanny-nanny-na-na."
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-13 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-13 Pub. Date: 2015-08-13
Image Number: 130936
Caption: What do you think the future's going to be like, Clyde? Just like now, only I'll have fries. Katrina's Ghost. I don't mean "The Future" as in fifteen minutes from now. I mean "the future" as in 200 years from now. Do you ever think further than fifteen minutes ahead? Do you ever think about the future of mankind? Would thinkin' 'bout that get me fries? Not everything in life is about fries, Clyde. I beg to differ, bruh.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-05 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-05 Pub. Date: 2015-08-05
Image Number: 130585
Caption: Susan, did you hear about the EM drive? It seems to work and if so, it'll revolutionize mankind. Is it going to make us be nice to each other? It's all coming together. NASA discovers half a dozen worlds and moons in our solar system that have subsurface oceans. And at the same time, we may have developed a new engine that requires no fuel and can get us to all these places in just weeks or months. Don't you see? The age of interplanetary colonization is actually about to begin! Is it going to make us be nice to each other? I'm sorry, did you say something?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-12 mankind 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-12 Pub. Date: 2015-06-12
Image Number: 128071
Caption: You're awfully quiet Lemont. I was just thinking about thinking. We used to think we were the only species capable of abstract thought, not just instincts. Now we know that's not true. Koko the gorilla knows over 1,000 sign language gestures, elephants gather to reminisce at elephant funerals. We only thought we knew what we were thinking about thinking, but now we have to think again. Dios mio.
     
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