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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about losers.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (45 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-06 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-06 Pub. Date: 2019-10-06
Image Number: 179724
Caption: The American people are so happy that we have the greatest president of all time! Sure, some libs hate him, but the American people laugh at those losers! LOLOLOLOL! The American people are 100% behind our POTUS! What're you doing, auditioning for the role of Suckup who posts fawning replies every single time the President tweets? Heh-heh ... Heh ... You know they have bots for that, right? *@#$! automation is ruining everything!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-03 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-03 Pub. Date: 2019-08-03
Image Number: 178786
Caption: If there's one good thing I can say about Donald Trump, it's that he really knows how to nickname people. He stole that from me, though. I've been nicknaming my rivals since Kindergarten. There was a kid who challenged my authority over the sandbox. I turned him into Loser Larry. There was a kid who challenged my grip on the Sugar Straw Pipeline. I turned him into Dodo Douglas. There was a presidential candidate who stole my shtick. I turned him into Dopey Donald. I've still got it.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-02 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177793
Caption: I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-19 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-19 Pub. Date: 2019-05-19
Image Number: 177643
Caption: NASA found seven earthlike planets, Randy. Amazing times, little buddy. And they're all in the same star system. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly not. I'm thinking it's not coincidence. There are seven earthlike worlds in that system, and seven continents on earth. Stop! I don't want to hear any crazy conspiracy theories! Not everything is connected! Get over it, loser! I always thought it was fishy that both the first Jewish menorah and the Kwanzaa kinara have seven candles. We should have our own astronomy show. STOP!!! Come to think of it, I once dated seven sisters from Caracas, which has seven letters. Coincidence???
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-09 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-09 Pub. Date: 2019-02-09
Image Number: 176175
Caption: What's that? It's my second published book. It's call The Official Biography of Rudy Park, the Loser Who Allegedly Works at My Local Café and Spends all His Free Time Doing Nothing on the Internet. It's just a bunch of empty pated. I know. Very meta, right?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-29 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-29 Pub. Date: 2018-12-29
Image Number: 175589
Caption: Well, another year is coming to a close. I'd like to thank you for a job well done, nemesis. I just serve coffee. Yes, but you do it so poorly, as if you have the coordination of a two-year-old. And ever word out of your mouth is vapid and narcissistic. Day in and day out, you have provided me with a slovenly example of youth that makes me feel very, very good to be old. So ... good job. Thank you for being you, loser! I love being important.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-07 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-07 Pub. Date: 2018-10-07
Image Number: 174190
Caption: House of Java Café. Grand Opening. I come from a long line of warriors. Women from my family have served in all 49 World Wars. There were only two. You don't think the first world war was fought in 1914, do you? Let's take for instance, the so-called Seven Years War ... The year was 1750: My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma Sadie dared a Frenchman to build a house in the British Ohio River Valley ... yadda yadda yadda, all the world's great powers ended up fighting across five different continents. We've served similarly in every world war dating back to the epic struggle between the allied dinosaurs and the axis of invertebrates. Admit it: There've been more than just two world wars. There's no shame in admitting you were wrong. Ok. I was wrong. Loser! He's a loser! The loser admits it! Can't win.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-21 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-21 Pub. Date: 2017-06-21
Image Number: 159390
Caption: So … you're a journalist. That's right. Can I interview you? Eh … no thanks. But … I could get your story our. Don't you want the world to know why you're rebelling against Dictator Clause? Of course. That's why I tweet. I've got millions of followers who hear my side whenever I want them to. @#?* 21st century. RebelElf. Rebuffed loser journo. He got all mad Time 4 cookie-break. #LameStreamMedia
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-21 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-21 Pub. Date: 2016-07-21
Image Number: 146142
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you ok?! I dweamt Donald Twump was a mean-head. And then he came into my dweam and towd me I wath a "total woother," an' I should wethign my job as your baby. That's the last time I let you watch the news. You're not a "total loser," son. I don't have another job lined up.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-13 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-13 Pub. Date: 2016-06-13
Image Number: 144562
Caption: Trump Campaign. John Barron speaking. Hi, I'm Lemont Brown with the Candorville Post. Right, we cover news, culture, opinion … I'm sure you've heard of us. We have 300,000 readers every day online. Mr. Trump says he's never heard of you, you're a total loser, you're overrated, and nobody likes you. He also says you don't treat him fairly. Probably because you're black ... He'd like me to add that nobody loves the blacks more than he does. They're tremendous.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-01 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-01 Pub. Date: 2016-06-01
Image Number: 143920
Caption: What do I have to do to get Donald Trump to attack me on Twitter" I've tried pretty much everything. I've written articles about his phony college, documented over 100 of his lies, and cataloged every time he's pandered to racists. But so far he hasn't called me a "loser," a "total failure," or even "nobody." Being trash-talked by Trump is a rite of passage for any real journalist. Didn't he once have a goon yank you out of a press conference by your underpants? You're just trying to make me feel better.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-15 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141800
Caption: I overheard you telling Lemont men pay their women's way half the time. What're you talking about, boo? I bought you those glasses. I bought you those shoes. I bought you dinner last night. What yo' name is again? You forgot tour own girlfriend's name? That don't even sound like a name. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-18).
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-20 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 140250
Caption: President Trump's State of the Union Address: My fellow Americans, the state of the union is unbelievable. It's yuge! They said it would be small, it's yuge, believe me. One guy down here isn't applauding, and the cameras probably showed him. They didn't show the tons of people who clapped, they probably showed this one incompetent loser down here. Anyway ... They keep talking about this $500 billion deficit with China. They're winning and crying, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, like a bunch of weak little babies. Well this deficit is going away. You wanna know why? Because it's not gonna happen. We'll talk about that later. But first, we have to talk about this lightweight senator in the third row. Look at him. He's a nervous basket case. He looks like a weak little clown. And we're about to knock out ISIS, you know how? Like Truman. Patton. I'm going to pick up the phone, and forget about it, they're gone. Hey, loser, wake up. You're supposed to clap for that. What a clown. Click.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-18 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-18 Pub. Date: 2016-03-18
Image Number: 140513
Caption: I agree with Clyde, the Republicans are going to win big this year. Fear. Unlimited funds. Gerrymandering voting districts … All the pieces are in place for a checkmate in six moves, followed by the traditional pantsing of the loser. Thanks for reminding me why I never play chess with you.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-22 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-22 Pub. Date: 2016-02-22
Image Number: 139560
Caption: Nobody understands why I hang out with you, Clyde. You're a thug, I'm not. You have no career, I do. You don’t care about the world, I report on it for a living. That's what they think, anyway, because they're not capable of looking past your loser image and seeing the real you. That's a compliment. If you have to say "that's a compliment," it ain't no compliment. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-03).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-27 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-27 Pub. Date: 2014-10-27
Image Number: 118201
Caption: You goin' to Loser-Con, Big L? What? You know, where man-nerds dress up like they Wolverine, an' woman-nerds dress all sexy an' then get mad at men for staring. … An' then Ben Affleck come out dressed as Batman, an' nerds lose they @#%* minds, like they just saw Jesus part the Red Sea. Loser-Con. COMIC-CON!!!
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-23 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-23 Pub. Date: 2014-08-23
Image Number: 115244
Caption: Robin Williams' train to the afterlife reaches the end of the line. Thanks for the smiles. Don’t forget me. Depression. I just don’t want to be forgotten. Nobody should be. Wait … me no fit through door. Wait! You forgot me! Tough luck, loser. No, it's ok. I'll go sleep on couch of everyone he loved.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-18 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-18 Pub. Date: 2014-04-18
Image Number: 110110
Caption: I overheard you telling Lemont men pay their women's way half the time. What're you talking about, boo? I bought you those glasses. I bought you those shoes. I bought you dinner last night. What yo' name is again? You forgot tour own girlfriend's name? That don't even sound like a name.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-21 loser 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-21 Pub. Date: 2014-03-21
Image Number: 108867
Caption: I agree with Clyde, the Republicans are going to win BIG this year. Fear. Unlimited funds. Embarrassing launch of Obamacare … All the pieces are in place for a checkmate in six moves, followed by the traditional public pantsing of the loser. Thanks for reminding me why I never play chess with you.
     
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