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Rudy Park

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-27 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-27 Pub. Date: 2016-08-27
Image Number: 147679
Caption: Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: A bold, debonaire male … the type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart "dames" who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: Weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to ask Sadie if she'll let you participate, first.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-25 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-25 Pub. Date: 2016-08-25
Image Number: 147677
Caption: I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds to them. But we wouldn't have private parts. Mankind isn't mankind if it doesn't have privates. I think that's one for the philosophers.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-24 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-24 Pub. Date: 2016-08-24
Image Number: 147676
Caption: It looks like mankind only has 30 years till immortality. What are you going on about? That’s when we may be able to transfer our consciousness to non-biological hardware. Then we can live forever. 30 years. I'll still be here, so I'm going to live forever. But you'll already be long gone. Does it bother you that I'm going to be immortal and you're not? You're of the texting-while-driving generation. You won't be here in 30 years either. Joke's on you, they revoked my license.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-14 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-14 Pub. Date: 2016-08-14
Image Number: 146262
Caption: I think it was Socrates who said "The untweeted life is not worth living."
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-04 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-04 Pub. Date: 2016-08-04
Image Number: 146703
Caption: I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-10 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144704
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions.
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-07 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144238
Caption: Everything in life is a stepping stone to something better, little buddy. I know exactly what you mean, Randy. It's like when I first played Nintendo's Duck Hunt.
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-28 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143660
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I earn $80k, and I just got a side gig that'll pay me $38k. But my tax guy says that'll make me owe $30k extra in taxes! So for all this extra work I'm doing, I'll only take home about $8,000! What's the point of even trying to get ahead?! Excellent question. It reminds me of the time my pa worked his entire life away in a coal mine in return for a burlap sack and one monthly chicken. Stop yer sniveling, you pampered princess!!!
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-26 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-26 Pub. Date: 2016-05-26
Image Number: 143658
Caption: If I could live in any other era, it would be "the age of woman." What? When was that? By my calculations, it will be the year 2297. That's when the entire paradigm will shift. Women will be in charge of everything, and men will be ignored, belittled and objectified. HOJ. Life's too easy today. I need the challenge the 23rd century will provide. I think I probably need to live in the 16th century.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-18 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-18 Pub. Date: 2016-05-18
Image Number: 143352
Caption: Boss, what's your favorite planet? Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself. That's the description I've listed it by on realestate.com. I'm pretty sure you can't sell Saturn. Of course not. I'm selling a time-share on Titan. With a view of Saturn.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-16 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-16 Pub. Date: 2016-05-16
Image Number: 143350
Caption: I told you Donald Trump was going to be the Republican nominee. You called it, Randy. But he has no chance of winning the presidency. Way too many people hate the guy. That's why he's going to win. Read "Randy's Guide to Life as an Alpha," Chapter 18 … "If you can't make them love you, make them love to hate you." I really need to buy your books.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-14 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-14 Pub. Date: 2016-05-14
Image Number: 143044
Caption: You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter … only instead of search-and-kill ops … your missions consist of charming your way through life and avoiding serious romantic entanglements.
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-10 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-10 Pub. Date: 2016-05-10
Image Number: 143040
Caption: What's the earliest memory you have, Armstrong? Well … I was very, very young … Everything was dark. I was in some sort of liquid and there was a flexible, hose-like thing connecting my belly button to some sort of sack that was enveloping me. I heard a woman's beautiful muffled voice singing "Row row row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream." And I decided then and there I would one day corner the boat market. Very bad man.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to … well let's see … oh, I've got it … My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-17 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141249
Caption: What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-01 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141149
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" advice hour. "Holden" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! I've been trying to get my wife to watch "The Expanse" on Syfy channel, but she refuses to even give it a chance. She won't watch any of my favorite shows with me. What can I do? YOU CAN GET A LIFE. Or you can continue to bug her about your tv shows, she can leave you for a romantic, oiled-up helicopter pilot, and you can watch your shows with your pet goldfish. I don't have a goldfish.
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-21 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-21 Pub. Date: 2016-03-21
Image Number: 140826
Caption: You're like the grandpa I never had, Mort. You never knew your grandpappy, Randy? Oh, no, I knew him. Grandpa Randy was an intrepid archaeologist who broke hearts and defeated villains all over the world. "Indiana Randy's" life story became the stuff of legend. They even made some movies based on his exploits. I'm just saying you're nothing like him. I was going to see those films back in the '80s, but the matinees were past my bedtime.
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-16 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140523
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming an architect, now that you don't have to know math. You don't? I read an architect's blog. He debunked the "good at math" myth. He said he never went past algebra 2 and doesn't really need to know any more than his 5th grade kid does. I think I'll go in on the ground floor. Maybe design suspension bridges before working my way up to skyscrapers. HOJ. I am never driving or going inside a building again in life. If I need to find the hypotenuse of a bridge thingy, there's probably an app for that.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-14 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140521
Caption: I've observed you for the last 15 years. Would you like to know what I've concluded? Sure. You're aging badly. Your hairline has receded by nearly 0.27 inches. Your lateral incisors and cuspids have grown inwardly crooked by 0.3 degrees … You've cultivated a bountiful crop of ear hairs, and your average pore size has increased from 50 microns to 54. It's been a great comfort to me to see that your haggardization is proceeding apace. I don't think I'll ever say "sure" again in life.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-12 life 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-12 Pub. Date: 2016-03-12
Image Number: 140202
Caption: Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under "mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of." That's scheduled for March 2017 - February 2018. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word "dumb." ... Tough, but not impossible.
     
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