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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about licenses and licensing.

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Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-26 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-26 Pub. Date: 2019-09-26
Image Number: 179620
Caption: I got a job offer outta nowhere, bruh. That's funny, so did I. My old editor wants me to … Uh-uh! No. That ain't how this work. What's the matter with you? First I finish my story, then you get to tell your story. A conversation be like merging traffic. First I go, then you go. Never mind. This why they revoked your license. They revoked it because you tried to use it. That's not important right now.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-04 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-04 Pub. Date: 2018-07-04
Image Number: 172689
Caption: "What, to the American slave, is your fourth of July? I answer: A day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless." - Frederick Douglass. "Where's my beer?" John Q. Public.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-30 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171947
Caption: They removed me from the voter rolls too, Lemont. It's called vote caging. Yeah … This sort of thing happens to me all the time. In 2000, they said I couldn't vote because I was a convicted felon. But I wasn't. In 2004, all the voting machines at my precinct mysteriously failed, and then they said the paper ballots had been eaten by wild rabbits. In 2016, they said I was 3/8th of an inch shorter than my driver's license showed. I believe I warned you not to fib about that.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-14 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-14 Pub. Date: 2018-04-14
Image Number: 170414
Caption: Clyde, I've never asked you this before, but … do you own a gun? What? Ain't you seen what happened to that brotha Philando Castile? Shot for telling a cop he has a licensed gun and a permit. John Crawford III … Tamir Rice … the country don't think the second amendment apply to us, Big L ... they think the second amendment's to protect them from us. You didn't answer my question.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-13 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169394
Caption: I’m started an ongoing series on my news site where I cover stories the country has forgotten about. Dr. Noodle. I'll be covering how people are still being poisoned in Flint, how the Sioux are still fighting to keep an oil company from threatening their water supply, etc ... The preface I'm writing reminds people we're still at war in Afghanistan after 17 years ... Yes, yes. But the fact remains, I can't diagnose the entire country with amnesia without losing my license. C'mon, it would add so much to the preface.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-14 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166587
Caption: I was walking along the sidewalk minding my own business … Dr Noodle … when a cop stopped me and ticketed me for walking without a driver's license. Then he took me to jail and held me there for seven hours. May lawyer found out he's done this before, almost always to black pedestrians. I tried really hard to understand why he does that. I thought "maybe he's just incompetent. Maybe he's emasculated at home so he overcompensates at work. Maybe he was trained to do this and so it's not his fault. Maybe the Mandela Effect is real and he came from an alternate universe where walking without a driver's license actually is illegal. People often go to great lengths to avoid noticing this particular elephant in the room. I'm told it's awfully rude to accuse people who do racist things of being racist.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-09 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148825
Caption: Hello, you've reached Candorville county. This is Ryan 2.0. How may I hinder you? My son was mistakenly enrolled in Medicaid. I need him off that. Please listen carefully as our options may have changed. To discuss Medicaid eligibility, say "two." To report fraud, say "three." To report child or elder abuse, say "four." Two. To obtain a business license, say "five." "Two." To dispute a county tax lien or inquire about your property tax bill, say "six." "Two." To make a child support payment, say "seven." To send an inmate a care package, say "eight." "Two." I said TWO! TWO! TWO! TWO! Just put an actual person on the phone! That option is invalid. To purchase coroner gift shop merchandise, say "nine."
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-23 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118627
Caption: Let me give you C-Dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some Native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorten that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-04 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-04 Pub. Date: 2014-11-04
Image Number: 118496
Caption: I tried to vote today, but I didn’t have ID because someone stole my wallet last week. I showed them my temporary driver's license, but that wasn't good enough. I showed them my passport, but it's expired, so that wasn't good enough. So I tried to hire an "illegal" immigrant to vote on my behalf, but it turns out that's not as easy as the voter-ID people say it is.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-27 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-27 Pub. Date: 2014-01-27
Image Number: 106766
Caption: I don’t care what you write on there, I'm not paying you a "licensing fee." Spare Change? Spare Change TM?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-06 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-06 Pub. Date: 2013-05-06
Image Number: 96585
Caption: I don't care what you write on there, I'm not paying you a "Licensing Fee." Spare change? Spare change? ™ (Originally published 2011-05-23).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-25 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-25 Pub. Date: 2012-11-25
Image Number: 89912
Caption: Let me give you C-dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorted that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-29 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-29 Pub. Date: 2012-04-29
Image Number: 79399
Caption: I've been a nonconformist all my life, Theodore. Dr. Noodle. When my mother told me to walk on the sidewalk, I walked in the middle of the street instead. When my boss told me to charge customers, I gave them all the cash from the register. When the tester at the DMV told me to "Get on that on-ramp," I backed onto the off-ramp instead. The other day, it finally dawned on me: My mom's not taking my calls, I'm unemployed, and I can't rent a car because I have no license. First of all, my name's Sigmund. Whatever, Albert.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-15 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-15 Pub. Date: 2011-11-15
Image Number: 72983
Caption: BTW, where are you, Sasha? Tap tap tap tap tap t- In bed, typing on my iPhone. Webster's snoring. Your husband? But … … the last time we chatted, you said you were about to leave him. Tap tap tap t- I had second thoughts. Maybe it's not so bad. You said you'd packed a dufflebag with your green card, license, $3k in cash and the address of a safe house ... ... after her told you to stop talking to your friends and threatened to fire any of his male employees who so much as smiled at you. Maybe it was just his way of saying "I love you." It was his way of saying "I OWN YOU!" Tap tap t- tap ta- t-
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-09 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-09 Pub. Date: 2011-09-09
Image Number: 65249
Caption: Lemont, I was never going to tell you about this, but … I'm leaving Webster. What? Tap tap t - Facebook messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I have a duffle bag hidden in the closet. It has my license, my green card, the address of a safe house and $3,000 in cash that I've been saving for over a year. So it's not a mutual breakup, is what you're saying. Tap tap t -
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-23 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-23 Pub. Date: 2011-05-23
Image Number: 61186
Caption: I don't care what you write on there, I'm not paying you a "Licensing Fee." Spare change? Spare change? ™
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-16 license 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-16 Pub. Date: 2009-12-16
Image Number: 41947
Caption: Today, at the ad agency. I'm sorry, Mr. Gold, we don't create ad campaigns for free. You misunderstand! I'm offering you something far more valuable than any "fee." I'm offering you a 10% back-end royalty! When I sell just the first 10 million "jokes about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife" CDs, you'll rake in a cool $50K, easy. Out. But it's a gold mine!
     
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