| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-09-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-09-03 |
| Image Number: |
173879 |
| Caption: |
I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2018-09-03) |
Image #173879 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-08-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-08-08 |
| Image Number: |
161292 |
| Caption: |
Looks like the Affordable Care Act is here to stay. That's right … sucker. What? Everyone know the ACA was a Republican idea. We came up with it as an alternative to single-payer health care. We knew the only way to make the left embrace it was for the right to attack it. You hate us so much that if we attack it, you cling to it like it's your dear old momma. We even let it be "saved" at the last minute, just to seal your love affair with it. Yeah, right. Like this was all part of some "master plan." McCain hammed it up a little at the end, but it was a nice touch.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2017-08-08) |
Image #161292 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-06-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-06-19 |
| Image Number: |
159388 |
| Caption: |
Breaking news! The White House is urging Russia to intervene in the North Pole's civil war to secure the release of hostages held by elfin rebels. Click … Canadian homeowners are urged to check for bunny holes before mowing their laws, after a gruesome ... Click. After seven male senators in a row interrupted the witness' answers, Senator McCain scolded Sen. Kamala Harris for doing the exact same thing. Click. Gilligaaaan ... the Skipper tooooooo.
|
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2017-06-19) |
Image #159388 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-07-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-07-24 |
| Image Number: |
49784 |
| Caption: |
"… And during the campaign, you reported that you were floating up a river in Vietnam, in search of John McCain's lost honor … "… And then you reported that drug violence in Juarez was the work of monsters trying to enslave humanity … Your outlandish fiction gets right to the truth. It all really happened. It all really happened. It all ... um ... Thanks. Don't mention it. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2010-07-24) |
Image #49784 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-11-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-11-16 |
| Image Number: |
28016 |
| Caption: |
VH1 presents: Where are they now? The Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter Story. The time was October, 2008. Journalists across the country yearned for him. There wasn't a television show around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. And for one brief electoral season, Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter was at the top of his game. Mainstream media. Which one is Obama again? But as sometimes happens in the dog-eat-dog ignoramus industry, his star dimmed like a light bulb over a moron's head. Guess who I voted for? Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. Anonymous Friend. After the election, he started hangin' around the wrong crowd. People who read an' pay attention. He started recognizin' the difference between such things as ketchup an' mustard. I was shocked, an' I was like "What the @#$% did you do with the real Ozzy? Next up, Ozzy hits rock bottom... |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-11-16) |
Image #28016 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-11-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
27819 |
| Caption: |
So whatchoo doin' here, blood? I'm a journalist sent to cover the rescue of John McCain's lost honor. No, I mean whatchoo doin' here. This here the Starbucks at the end o' the world. Nothin' can find this place unless it's lost. Or abandoned. You mean "No one," right? Pass the chocolate espresso beans. The right to vote. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-11-04) |
Image #27819 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-11-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-11-03 |
| Image Number: |
27818 |
| Caption: |
The Starbucks at the end of the world. Where the lost and abandoned can find rest, a warm cup and free Wi-Fi. Note to self… We found John McCain's lost honor, but it refuses to come with us. Of course it does. Why go back home to be with someone it hardly knows anymore? Someone it don't respect no more? Someone who keeps throwin' out his brand new Afro sheen? We still talkin' about John McCain? |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-11-03) |
Image #27818 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-11-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-11-01 |
| Image Number: |
27643 |
| Caption: |
So John McCain never left you behind in Vietnam? No. I came here of my own accord after the divorce. I caught him in bed with dishonor. Embracing those who had attacked his wife and baby. Implying his opponent was a terrorist-sympathizer with inappropriate thoughts about kindergarteners. Spending the entire month of September approving campaign ads that blatantly lied. Letting his running mate incite hate at her rallies. So, I divorced him. I became a salmon, swimming upstream to the place where I was born. I take it you got custody of the metaphors. Let me know when you decide to rant, and I'll come over and interrupt. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-11-01) |
Image #27643 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-31 |
| Image Number: |
27642 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: We found McCain's long-lost honor. After Karl Rove's lies destroyed John in 2000… …he told me: "My God…the genius of that. "The will to do that perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure." That's when he realized, they were stronger than he was. You couldn't stay to talk him out of becoming just like them? I had frequent flyer miles that were about to expire. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-31) |
Image #27642 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-30 |
| Image Number: |
27641 |
| Caption: |
I remember in South Carolina, 2000. McCain had sworn to be honest. Honorable. But we went there and the Bush people had spread lies and innuendo about him and his wife. The HORROR. He wept like a child. And then he said to me… …that nobody should ever do that stuff to anyone? No, he said "Wait, we can do that?" But good guess. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-30) |
Image #27641 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-29 |
| Image Number: |
27640 |
| Caption: |
Did they tell you why they sent you, embeds? Why they want you to reunite me with John McCain? They said his campaign had gone totally insane. That his methods were unsound. Do you think his methods are unsound? Honor. I don't see… any methods… at all, sir. Are you assassins? We're journalists. So that would be a "yes"? |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-29) |
Image #27640 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-28 |
| Image Number: |
27639 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 18: The Starbucks at the end of the world. Manager said the lost and abandoned come through here from time to time. Said we might find what we're looking for. Pray tell, wouldst thou vagabonds know the way to the East Indies? First things first. Have you seen John McCain's honor? Perchance in yonder men's room. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-28) |
Image #27639 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-24 |
| Image Number: |
27504 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 17: This is the end. The river's end. To rescue John McCain's honor from a prison camp. Only one problem. There is no prison camp. But I am the spirit of investigative journalism incarnate. I, and I alone, can defy nature and the gods themselves to track down my prey. Hey, I found his honor, it's over at Starbucks. And will you quite doing that? |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-24) |
Image #27504 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-20 |
| Image Number: |
27500 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal Day 15: Boat stopped so we could waste film on a tourist attraction. Authentic Fisherman. Rookies. Nerves causing dumb mistakes. Oh snap! I only have one shot left! At this rate, we'll never rescue McCain's honor from that camp upriver. Can't waste. Must... stay... till I can get perfect shot. Maybe animatronic fish glinting in sunset. Or maybe... (Click). What the @#$%?! I told you not to stop the boat. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-20) |
Image #27500 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-19 |
| Image Number: |
27485 |
| Caption: |
And in other news, John McCain and Barack Obama are criss-crossing the nation to visit important groups of voters. On Monday, Senator Obama visited Jewish voters in Florida, while Senator McCain spoke at an Irish-American veterans dinner. On Tuesday, Obama spoke at a town hall hosted by Reverend Wilfred W. Wilfred, leader of the state's largest Christian Ministry... While McCain met with Latino-American veterans group. Next week, both McCain and Obama will be speaking to a group of Liebold electronic voting machines at their fourth annual "Sentence Day" luncheon. ...where the two will swear allegiance to their new lords and masters... Chuck, this teleprompter's gone haywire. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-19) |
Image #27485 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-14 |
| Image Number: |
27399 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: How are we going to rescue John McCain's lost honor from that prison camp with this crew of misfits? Asian Tax Shelter. Wesley Snipes and Chuck Norris. I won't even go there. Then there's Lemont Brown, the other embedded journalist. "Big L" is from some urban spit hole... Snap! ...and I think the light and space of Vietnam really put a zap on his brain. What in God's name is that crazy smell? Trees. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-14) |
Image #27399 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-10 |
| Image Number: |
27223 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: Our guide was one of those guys who had that weird light around him. Glow-in-dark iPOD. $99 at Target. We felt safe with him. Don't eat at that Taco Bell. Bad cheese. Nodung River that way, behind Starbuck! Go! Save John McCain honor from fetid prison camp! He knew the ways of the natives. Because he was one. Mmm... I love the smell of hazelnut latte in the morning. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-10) |
Image #27223 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-09 |
| Image Number: |
27222 |
| Caption: |
September 24th, 2008… We monitored it out of Ha Long. It's been verified as the voice of John McCain's honor. Please, please, don't show me any more of my own lying campaign ads! I beg you! Then let's go over your involvement in the "Keating Five" one more time. NNNOOOOO!!! Shut it off. We'll save him. Or die trying. Do you mean that literally? 'cause... |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-09) |
Image #27222 |
|
|
| |
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-08 |
| Image Number: |
27221 |
| Caption: |
The "Real" Delta Force couldn't make it, so the Pentagon called my agent. Y'know what? This whole "sailing up a dangerous river into enemy territory with Chuck Norris" thing? I’m not too cool with it. Don't worry, chief. We're not on our own. Oh. Well... They also sent Wesley Snipes as my feisty sidekick. Wait... What?! I'm on work release. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-08) |
Image #27221 |
|
|
| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2008-10-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-10-07 |
| Image Number: |
27220 |
| Caption: |
Anderson Cooper, are you in there? Whu…what are the charges? What'd I do? No charges. Our mission's come through. We're to accompany Delta Force up the Nodung River to rescue John McCain's long-lost honor. Only one problem… The Bush is over-run with Charlie. No, Delta Force was needed in Afghanistan, so-- Hi, I'm Chuck Norris. You may know me from such films as Delta Force, and Delta Force 2, The Colombia Connection. |
|
|
| Candorville by Darrin Bell (2008-10-07) |
Image #27220 |
|
|
| |
Reddit
MySpace
Twitter
Google Bookmarks
Linked In
Share on Facebook
