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Rudy Park

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-24 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-24 Pub. Date: 2017-04-24
Image Number: 157296
Caption: I've given up editing your Wikipedia entry. I still neither know nor care what that means. Tap tap tap tap tap. Instead, I've put up a whole new page for you on Wookieepedia. Did you know you were Chewbacca's first love? But he left you after 200 years of castigation and belittling. You hurt me like the bug hurts the windshield, dork-boy. Also, Chewbacca thought you had too much nose hair.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-17 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157024
Caption: Hello, this is cable news. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. Our records show you didn't click on a single clip of the missiles our navy shot at Syria. I didn't what on the what now? We bought your complete web browsing history from your internet service provider. How could you resist watching all those beautiful instruments of death and destruction soar into the night sky. House of Java Cybercafe. Get out of my computer machine! What's with all your visits to old-biddies-doing-yoga-dot-com? ... Freak.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-06 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156486
Caption: As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable mate. Very bad man.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-07 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155392
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-06 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-06 Pub. Date: 2017-03-06
Image Number: 155391
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a radical alt-right internet sensation. Ok, that's it. You can't just go along with every new trend there is. Some people are painters. Some are musicians. Some compose symphonies. My innate talent is sensing incoming trend waves and surfing their peaks and troughs as with the grace of a dolphin. Being a lemming is not a talent, little buddy. And I'm not sure dolphins "surf." Hold on ... trend wave incoming! It involves ... corduroy ... No, wait ... pancakes.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-25 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 154818
Caption: What's that? It's my second published book. It's called "The Official Biography of Rudy Park, the Loser Who Allegedly Works at My Local Café and Spends All His Free Time Doing Nothing on the Internet." It's just a bunch of empty pages. I know. Very meta, right?
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-21 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-21 Pub. Date: 2017-02-21
Image Number: 154814
Caption: I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my entire worldview. The burrito, as most Americans know it, did not actually come from Mexico. Or maybe it did. The internet is of two minds about the issue. The point is, if you can't count on the burrito being Mexican, you can't count on anything. I have something to tell you about Chop Suey.
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-11 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-11 Pub. Date: 2017-02-11
Image Number: 154260
Caption: I bought P90X, Insanity, T25, and I even went old school and bought Tae Bo. I don't care how many you bought, I'm telling you clicking "buy now" doesn't burn any calories.
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-04 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-04 Pub. Date: 2017-02-04
Image Number: 153982
Caption: I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-28 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-28 Pub. Date: 2017-01-28
Image Number: 153712
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Whoopty doo. Tap tap tap tap tap. You'll be happy to know you are no longer the last of your kind, Sadie. Astronomers have discovered another supermassive black hole that expels nearly as much hot air as you do. You're now listed under "oppressive objects that burp out galactic gas." I will exact revenge at a time and place of my choosing.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-14 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-14 Pub. Date: 2017-01-14
Image Number: 153097
Caption: I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-09 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-09 Pub. Date: 2017-01-09
Image Number: 153092
Caption: You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-23 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-23 Pub. Date: 2016-12-23
Image Number: 152379
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll quadruple our sales. Not again. We should stop spelling everything correctly. Nobody does that anymore. We should write our menus the way the country writes their tweets. That's the dumb -- wait … that's actually not one of your more horrendous ideas. Thx boss. M gonna take rest of day off k thx bye. Never mind what I just said.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-19 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152375
Caption: You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Everything was going great until I got to season two episode six. To protest toxic contamination, the angel put on a huge bird suit and drove a tricycle around, yelling "Kaw! Kaw!" and playing "You Spin Me Right Round" on a boombox. It took me 31 years to successfully repress that memory. Thanks a lot, Youtube. It's at the 11:10 mark in the video.
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-17 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-17 Pub. Date: 2016-12-17
Image Number: 152127
Caption: Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-10 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-10 Pub. Date: 2016-12-10
Image Number: 151824
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. And I don't give a wiki. Tap tap tap tap tap. You have now single-handedly proven that Mars had oceans 4.3 billion years ago … because the Mars Rover stumbled across a fossilized photo of you sunning yourself on a primordial Martian beach. Photos can't be fossilized, you ignoramus. They can once I'm done editing the Wikipedia entry for "photos."
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-30 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-30 Pub. Date: 2016-11-30
Image Number: 151570
Caption: I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-01 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150484
Caption: I still can't believe what happened with "The Walking Dead," Randy. That death … I don't think I'll ever get over it. Characters become real to us, little buddy. They become old friends. So when they "die," it's natural to mourn them just as we mourn anyone. No, I mean I can't believe I forgot to post a reaction video on Youtube of me crying when the death happened. But at least I got to post a reaction video of me reacting to my not having posted a reaction video. I've lived too long.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-16 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149159
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose "Lucky Charms." A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-14 internet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149625
Caption: Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.
     
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